Stickman Readers' Submissions September 17th, 2011

Death Threats

I've never been a well balanced character and I tend to get addicted to anything I touch, girls, tobacco, exercise, work, drinking etc Funny how whilst we can never be all things to all people – at some point we are most things, good and bad, to
different people. To some I am a thorough professional – to others an alcoholic whore monger. I've been a wonderful boyfriend and a lying cheat – a stud and an absolute loser. The bully and now a victim. The grey area that permeates all of
our attempts at black and white compartmentalized lives, is what Thailand highlights so well. The blurring lines of distinction, the woozy concept of right and wrong is what draws me to the place. I have spent countless hours reading Stick's
insightful column and the excellent readers' submissions, which at times, have been my only guiding light in the hazy LOS. Thank you. It truly has helped to sharpen the focus of an idiot abroad.

So the death threat….. Well he is an older chap closing in on 50 looking at his profile on Facebook (I'm closer to 30). I have his identity and he has mine. He is 'in a relationship' with my ex. I believe the years of drinking
and mongering have taken a toll on him and he looks to be in a very sorry state. His comments are borderline insane and he has laden me with a torrent of abuse. His anger is fuelled by the lady in question, my ex, who had an abortion which I insisted
on. Well I'm not pleased to announce that this is true. A couple of years ago she informed me she was pregnant and I was to blame. I fronted the cash to terminate the pregnancy and stated that I did not want a child. Now she is from a very
promiscuous background and we did have an accident with a condom – I will never know if she was up the stick (by me or someone else) or she just wanted a cash supplement – however, I am deeply saddened by these events. I was very much in love
with her at the time and knew very little of the world I was addicted to. His second gripe is that he feels sorry for these girls that 'get taken in' by my lies and deceit, he references in particular my career which he believes I lied
about. I simply told the truth when asked. Oddly it's not a particularly impressive job, but my pal seems to have a bee in his bonnet over it.

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I usually stay near Khao San Road in Bangkok. I have a few friends working there, and I enjoy people watching as much as any amateur anthropologist does. Soi Rambuttri is a particular favorite spot. It is true to say that some of the 'travellers'
get on my nerves but as long as I don't have to spend too much time with the tree hugger types it all works. Getting drawn into a drunken political argument over a topic that neither of us have the slightest clue about is a pet hate. The
sermon on a mount I received from an inebriated 22-year old necking her 5th Chang regarding the p4p bar scene was a personal favourite, when 4 gogo friends of mine turned up and quickly took the centre of attention of the bar away from the western
perspective. Another favourite spot, and I know it has been mentioned before, is Big Dogs at the mouth of Nana Plaza. It's such a hive of activity – watching the girls, the guys, the ones somewhere in between, transcending cultures, transacting
cash for flesh – breaking down complicated relationships values into the bare bones of the animal side to all of us, living in that morally grey area.

Now I have never been into the bar scene per se. Absolutely nothing against it though, just not my cup of tea at this stage of my life. I reserve the right to change my attitude a little later on. My regular haunts are in the nightclubs and
after party clubs, where many a working girl ends up if she has no long time customer and of course the freelancer. Over the years I have gained a number of friends both local and expat. Some slightly shady characters would perhaps consider me
a 'friend' – I am well aware these 'friendships' are temporary, and largely depends on the fringe benefits – but sometimes it does go both ways, mutual back scratching so to speak. So I got a wondering, does this fella threatening
me have any dangerous friends. Now I am not a violent man in anyway whatsoever. But if this lunatic's messages are to be believed, he certainly is. I think he would hardly be capable himself to do to me the damage he wants without assistance.

Ultimately the message is clear, if I should return to Bangkok, he will kill me. I am to consider my 'Bangkok licence' cancelled. I see Stickman has been subjected to cyber bullying – and can imagine some of what he must feel although
that was a very different situation. There is that grey area again, at what point do lame threats from the safety of an Internet web page spill over into the real world? How far will this man go? What precautions should I take? Now wherever possible
I do the cowardly thing and run as fast as I can in the opposite direction. Unfortunately abandoning the LOS for a mad man's ranting is not on my agenda. I will complete my work assignments in Europe by the end of the month, and will remove
my professional hat for a few months and at least for the first part will return to Thailand.

I am sure it must be jealousy issues. My ex has a rather irritating habit of telling her new boyfriends all about me. I've met a couple of them, nice lads too. One left her because she told him she won't forget me. I spoke to him
at length, explaining that she and I would never get back together, still he thought better of it and left – wise move if you ask me. So I imagine my bully has got enough info on me to find out when I return and where I'll be. Also there
are mutual friends between myself and the ex, who could facilitate an inquiring mind as to my whereabouts.

So I feel a confrontation is on the cards, I state here categorically that I am willing to put all of this mess behind us, live and let live. Despite the vitriolic abuse that I have been subject to, over issues that were hard enough as it
was at the time. Also I do not fear him. Perhaps he would do well to consider that I am also not alone in Bangkok, aside from friends in Thailand, I have friends who would be willing to sit on a 12 hour flight just incase he may be true to his
word. I imagine that he may read this site, if so, please feel free to respond in the public domain.

Your move Mr. G.D…..

Stickman's thoughts:

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A potentially riveting submission in the end is disappointing because it tells plenty about you and frankly, little else. You gave almost no background on "the situation" which makes it almost impossible to comment. You say you don't involve yourself with bargirls yet your ex is promiscuous, has had a number of boyfriends and is now with a much older man who is worse for wear. Hardly sounds like the behaviour of a typical Thai woman!

Most threats made in Bangkok by one foreigner to another are complete hot air so I would not worry about it.

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