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An Alternative Sukhumvit Perspective

  • Written by Anonymous
  • August 23rd, 2010
  • 7 min read


Black Pagoda Patpong Bangkok


Bangkok's not an adventure, more of a military exercise.

An early experience of this was when I hadn't got my mind set into gear. What do I mean? You know when you get those bucket loads of totally inexcusable behaviour that you have to simply brush off like water off a duck's back. So you're happily settled on your perch in the German Biergarten, and a guy comes to sit right beside you. No problem you think. Within seconds you're faced with a choice, inhale his secondary smoke or move on, but how many times might you have to do this during the afternoon. The alternative is to say something. It's against the law this westerner readily admits and accepts, but he's still going to go ahead and light up. It's at this stage I can frankly admit that my brain is re-confirming that I am not blessed with a physic to match my mouth, otherwise I would hate to think of the consequences that might have followed. What God damned right do these do these smokers have in this era of political correctness to blow smoke in my face? Is smoking a problem? No, not really, it's just that I've gone out of my way to discourage my sister from ever visiting me again, with her revolving cuckoo clock antics. And of course there's a fat chance that I will be returning any day soon to the the Battersea Power Station that she calls home.

Whilst walking back to my hotel there's total bedlam. Somebody's been mugged, a woman's being raped, and a tourist has just been shot and murdered. Thankfully the Police are on had, and they've got their priorities right again. In the thick of it they are fining a litter lout for dropping his bus ticket on the pavement!

When was the last time you engaged, had eyeball to eyeball contact with a Thai man? I only say this as I suddenly realised my sub conscious goes out of its way from having any visual contact with the male species of Thailand, but completely contradictory engaging nearly every other woman that walks by.

10% service and 7% VAT is something I think you've been worn down to accept. I refuse to pay staff wages and the establishments taxes, but I made an exception having travelled all the way to Duke's Express. I will not pass comment on their hamburgers. But what I did feel distinctly uneasy about was the supercilious and pretentious atmosphere of the diners eating in that environment. How the other half lives, and when you look around you'd wonder if they were from the same continent let alone the same country. As nobody seems to cook or eat at home this is where you find them after work. White, angular face features, tall, stick like, slim and nearly everyone a clothes horse. But soulless, high falutin', all their snobbery reminds me of the Sloane Rangers of the Chelsea set. Imagine trying to date one of those hi-so's, and even if she turns out to be genuine what about her friends, family and parents!

Soi 8 Sportsman by the way includes all their ++'s in their menu prices, perhaps you'd be kind enough to mention this 17.7% difference on those which like to include it as an after thought?

Great news for breakfast lovers, Coffee @ 8 has returned, the whole premises has been refurbished. What an oasis this little cafe is – great cappuccino, fabulous croissants, extremely pleasant atmosphere, and best of all, good-looking attentive staff.

Now just coming out of there, which is right up at the top of the soi, I ventured down to take a look and see what kind of turnout Loita's could muster at 9:30 AM, as they say the early bird catches the early worm. I was blown away, even at this hour there was a whole parade / bevy on duty, all decked up in their regulation attire they really looked the business. Some very attractive ladies, and at the end of this sub-soi they all had a very friendly disposition. I strongly recommend you pay them a visit, as it would make for a great group photograph. <They spot me at 10 metres or more and have made it clear they're not comfortable with cameras and I respect thatStick>

Tilac Gogo looking around this week is it me, or are the girls there definitely getting older. I mean is the average getting higher, in fact should an average age be set, and if it's breached then the oldest ones should simply be asked to walk the plank. Let me put this another way, there were no girls as such working there – only women. All out of wedlock, with a flock of children under their wings to support. <Am in there often and can confirm that you're blind. There are some aged under 20 and many in their early 20s – Stick>

Baccara on the other hand was a completely different kettle of fish, the top floor had all the atmosphere that was sorely lacking in Tilac. Plus of course some of the best looking girls in Bangkok, well worth forking out the additional satang for.

Queens Park Plaza has never been reviewed if I'm not wrong, give it a whirl sometime.

In Nana Plaza, Mandarin is a lot friendlier downstairs, better looking upstairs but as hard as nails, and for some reason those tall looking girls seemed to be devoid of only having half an arse.

PlaySchool is way past its prime, but still one of the front runners in the Plaza, very pleasant girl from Korat sitting on the bar outside that I talked to.

Rainbow 4 – what can I say still number 1 in the plaza. A dilemma, take the average looking waitress that seems to have a crush on you, or one of the stunners, guaranteed performance over looks, life's never been easy. The girl with the biggest tits also came over to talk to me, until she appreciated my problem of having small hands. But the winner of the evening was a girl blessed with fabulous tits, unfortunately either she was a little too mao or that she was a little bit ting tong, just perfect and made my whole trip worthwhile. Sorely tempted over this one – check her out.

Onto to the disco at the Ambassador's Hotel. Climax or maybe that was the group that was playing, nothing worse than dead music is live music.

Thermae the night before had been a disaster, so I thought I'd check it out. Dark, very dark, so God knows what you'd end up with, mine was from a hen's night out that more or less tried to sit on my face. I thought she's never needed the toilet, having promised I'd stay I got the hell out of there.

Four days and three nights to soak up what Sukhumvit had to offer, it is at least a year since I was last up, no watch, mobile phone or schedules to hand, I just simply let it flow. Talking of which it's been so long since I last had a legitimate date mobile phones hadn't been invented. In fact Alexander Graham Bell was still putting his finishing touches to the land line version.

Question – what is the mobile phone etiquette on one's first date. In fact do you turn yours off, and what's more expect your partner to reciprocate ? So far so good, all you've got to do know is to persuade your date's friends, family and the rest of the village who's joined you on this chaperoning exercise to do the same.

I know it's silly to postulate this, but there couldn't be any other reason for two bar girls having a huge fight outside of money?

Walking down the mid section of Soi 4 (Nana) I was surprised by just how many girls were working on the street, I mean this is ground zero whereby they can easily avail themselves in countless different establishments. So the question that came to me was why do freelancers really have to freelance?

Gulliver's at 2:00 PM, total head count 2 customers.

Mamasans – is there a factory cloning these identical dragons out on a ready to go basis?

Just some random thoughts I jotted down whilst I was up there.

Thai Dating, Singles and Personals

Stickman's thoughts:

A very nice collection of thoughts. A few photos to accompany the thoughts could have really made this!