Readers' Submissions

Baby, You Are So Insignificant

  • Written by Anonymous
  • July 14th, 2010
  • 6 min read



"Until a man is about 25 he still thinks that under the right circumstances he could be the baddest motherfucker alive."

That's from Snow Crash by Neil Stephenson.

But right around 25 you start to lose your aura of invincibility. You realize you need to start taking control of what you're doing. You have to work just a little harder to be a bad motherfucker.

I am 25 and been reading Stickman for 3 years – it is without a doubt the most entertaining daily I have found. I am starting to reach the non-invincible point and it puts everything into perspective. I don’t know it all, never thought I did, but I really don’t know a lot about a lot but know something about some things.

I cannot go around judging people – people who sleep with whores, someone who has cosmetic surgery, whatever. I can’t judge anyone in fact unless I have been in their shoes and see things from their perspective that has formed through various unique life experiences. But neither do I care what people think of what I do, because they haven’t been in my shoes either. So why all the fuss over a know-it-all 23 year old girl? I don’t even bother with people younger than me – their opinions mean next to nothing to me. There is such a vast difference between 16 year old 10th graders, just-graduated 18 year olds, college students, college grads, working men/women and a person who has roamed the earth for 35+ years. Guys, don’t take things so personally especially from a girl half your age. To each their own – which applies to you to. Do what you want! Qualifying yourself to a young lady shows you have lost the battle already – you have emasculated yourself.

A person who sleeps with a whore – why is this such a problem? When I think about it and put myself in this person’s shoes, I start to see the positives of the experience. The Chinese know-it-all is the kind of girl who values being screwed once-off by some model type who has had his dick in 50 other girls I the 50 weeks prior. I assume she is the material kind of girl who would laugh at an average sized to smaller penis. I assume she is one of those girls you have to firstly be good looking, then be rich, then have to really lay on the total “A” game plus display your vast wealth before she even acknowledges your presence. And she is not unique, she is part of the majority of women who overvalue their vagina to the point of nausea. Now imagine a world where a woman will not look at your belly and turn her nose up at you. Or will not laugh at your penis, instead tell you how amazing it is. Imagine a world where you do not have to charm a woman and spend ample money and do the peacock feather dance in front of her and not have the anxiety of rejection inside you. Now that is paradise. And if I wasn’t able to get the sex I want at home, I can assure you I would be in Thailand visiting some bars every once in a while getting tail I couldn’t normally at home.

Reaching this 25 year mark I also look at people’s marriages because society seems to put this pressure on people to get married. I see how many are in tatters and how very few last. I look at how miserable people are in their marriages. I look at the women and how they look like total slobs and I look at the men who are completely hollow inside. I see the women on edge and controlling and the man deflated and despondent. I realize most people my age are getting married because of an unwanted pregnancy and a few settling because of money. Now I imagine those guys in 25 years. Kids have grown up, they have been having sex with one woman for the last 25 years (if he was lucky that she put out for that long) and have put up with all the shit from the kids, put up with the weight gain and lack of sex drive of his woman: the very same kind of woman who married him for his looks and future monetary and status value – much like the Chinese girl. Women can make their lives far easier and happier without the stress of their men straying if they just stay in shape, keep their interest in sex up and treat their man with respect and not contempt, trying to dominate him. But these women who end up draining the energy of their man are the same ones who complain about how a man is a pig for sleeping with whores. Put yourself in his shoes. His Miss Piggy woman has neglected him because of headaches. She is embarrassing to be seen with in public because she can’t be bothered to look after herself. She has emasculated him in public, in front of friends. She has turned off the sex tap. She has used the children against him. It may have ended in a bitter divorce and he has lost his kids and half his money. He may be so fed up with putting up with the attitudes of women, he just wants to escape and feel like a man again.

I am a fit 25 year old guy, blond hair green eyes, 5’10”, gym a little, eat right etc etc. And I know if I want to score some hot tail, I have to put in the effort. I have to put my contacts in; I have to wear clothing that tells people I am a millionaire. I have to wear shoes that shine. I have to put some product in the hair. I have to smile, pretend I own the show. As awesome as it is to score some hottie, it is damn tiring. Some days I just leave the house, glasses on, hair like crap, track pants, whatever. I get tired of the effort – tired of thinking of stupid shit to talk about in a certain tone of voice with a certain playfulness to it – I like being a nobody with no social skills. It is in these moments I get treated differently to when I am all cleaned up and I see peoples’ attitudes – some are just down right nasty. I don’t take it personally because I can’t give a shit, but I imagine someone who is like that every day. Someone who looks shabby, nerdy and doesn’t put much effort in. Sure they could put in some effort, but they don’t and they don’t get laid. Where would I be if I was like that, which I could be if I chose? I would be in Thailand banging away weeks at a time. I so often get a look from someone like I am beneath them because I am not putting effort in on my off days. All I think to myself is, baby, you think you’re the shit, but there are thousands with a better ass than yours in Thailand who I could bang for a few bucks or China where I could do it for free with countless stunners mesmerized by my blondness – dressed up or not. You are so insignificant, it is amazing!

In the end, whatever choices you make, we’re all gonna die. Fuck it, enjoy. (and don’t pay attention to 23 year old know-it-alls no matter how hot). And don’t judge people until you know what they have been through.

Stickman's thoughts:

I had to make a choice between no comments, or no submissions for a few days. I chose no comments. To the author of this submission, I hope you understand why I chose to publish without commenting.