Readers' Submissions

To Each Their Own

  • Written by Anonymous
  • May 27th, 2010
  • 9 min read


Black Pagoda Patpong Bangkok


Love, this magical buzz word I've always heard legend tell but rarely, if ever, witnessed long term. Now I know about lust, obsession, betrayal, jealousy, angst, terror, hate, resentment, frustration and all the other power packed emotions and if I had a choice I'd pick equanimity. Love is charged with hope, hype and princess tales. This is not the private domain of any culture.

People are biased to their experience universally. The Thai upbringing isn't much different than farm life in dirt poor Louisiana. There are more bright lights in the big city but people's lives are pretty much the same as they always were, there's more props, but the human themes are no different, we just have faster ways to communicate and send love letters around the globe instantly.

Even in the time of Adam and Eve…Cain and Able wanted to have the hottest looking cave babe and wouldn't settle for the ugly sister. Everybody wants the best option but sometimes the hardest thing to do is choosing wisely.

My perspective on love and family is somewhat unique, I grew up with a step-father who was 42 years older than my mother. At a very young age I realized that this wasn't accepted much by society and deemed strange, so I lied about it to people and myself and it wasn't until years afterward I realized that my step-dad had it right. I'm almost 47 years old, my mom is only 16 years older than me and although cultural conditioning will tell girls not to have older boyfriends as lovers, nature disagrees. When a female starts menstruation, nature says that's okay for the alpha lion to mate. He's not concerned with communicating his unbridled love for the bitch, he wants to throw his stones, dominate, eat, drink, sleep, fight and do it again…not necessarily in that order. Love is a parlor trick only for humans so that we won't find the babies of our species delicious should we find ourselves starving in a winter desert.

Communication is overrated and I'm sure if I had been able to speak Cantonese my Chinese girlfriend's mother would have been magnitudes more painful to bare for 11 years. The more words I know, the more lies I tell. All conversation is persuasion. Don't be fooled, when you communicate anything you are either furthering your agenda or the other person is. Or I'm just wasting my time and practicing effusiveness. If both parties get what they want and a deal can be stuck, that's ideal.

Marriage is a human concept and a business arrangement. It favors women and is mostly an ego trip we fantasize about. Children are a kind of immortality head game. We sit and day dream about how we'll be remembered after we die and what our descendants will say about us at the funeral. Those crying the loudest are the ones left out of the will or who picked the short end of the stick.

Lust is another animal far more real and immediate. I can touch, taste and smell lust, see it everywhere for what it is, but I only hear about love.

My dear old dad gave me a tip about finding a mate when I was about 15 years old. He said when you first start going out with a woman, take her to a greasy-spoon for dinner and watch how she treats the waiter – because that is exactly how she'll be treating you in 6 months.

Of course, she'll be treating you like gold now and laughing in all the right places and you'll be thinking you're the crafty Casanova, again don't be duped, it's always the fee-male idea to get in on. She will have allowed herself to be charmed into your bed. Females can think about a hundred more ways to lure you into a mating web than a male can. Seduction is really the domain of the female and it's the prime strategy for survival. Every human comes from a long line of either seducers or rapists. And given the choice all normal females chose seduction over raping males. Although it's often both.

With communications and revealing your innermost thoughts to her or any other, you are setting yourself up for betrayal simply because humans are somewhat conniving, fickle and malicious by nature. Sure, if you have no male friends that you can communicate honestly with, by all means spill the beans to your girlfriend and give her more ammo to use on you later during sparring. This is nature's way of separating the wheat from the chaff and insuring that beta males will not get in the way of the alpha when he's targeting his prize. They will be off subjugating and passing off his genes and obeying the underwhelming baby makers in his village instead.

It's hard-wired in her to pick your brain for weakness and see if you are really the brave, confident, canny caveman that can protect her from more violent undesirable cavemen that might not be swayed by her control drama or attached emotionally to her offspring. In this day and age it's the more economic warriors that women hunt because this is the newest deviation away from nature. We no longer have to hunt animals daily to survive, when we can warehouse supplies and trade paper for food.

If you find yourself in communication with a single mother with small cubs to nurture, be certain you are being sized up for the kill….perhaps just one of many, and her best offer so far. Those with the most options in nature usually win.

Nature has this surefire way to tell if you have found the right girl. When frying your bacon and fats breakfast after the first night she stayed over, if your unit rises before the pancakes and you want to put them on the back burner and gorilla style her on the kitchen sink first…that's nature's way of saying she's the one for right now. If you would rather read the football scores or what your favorite journalists are thinking, then nature says, you're not really that into her.

Love is a female pixie dust thrown into your eyes so as to disrupt your hunters instincts to twist and scan in the direction of better options.

There's a reason why Thai women prefer tall, skinny, pale, spectacled, Chinese-looking gentleman from a good family and find the # 9 most lucky. In the rest of the world it's a different story. In North Korea they probably like their men to be a little shorter and rounder.

I happen to like petite Asian women and nature agrees with me. The numbers don't lie, the majority of the males on the planet also concur.

Now I never thought much about Asian women growing up in Canada. They didn't tend to live in my neighborhood, were not on every page of Playboy magazine, revered in school, on the news or on giant billboards at every turn.

No Caucasian women in my country likes the ideal that I can go to Thailand and find women half my age that think I'm the best option. They would much prefer for me to communicate my desire to be compliant to their wishes and stand down and I don't blame them. Their ideal man is a prince that daddy told them will come and rescue them and then they reach 40 and he isn't knocking on their doors asking them to try on shoes. They are pissed and left wondering if there are any princes left in the world and why did daddy lie to them about Santa Claus and the tooth fairy. When the answer is no, they quickly decide to deviate and depending on how nature has spared their looks will they compromise and choose.

Luckily, for now anyways, I no longer have to go to Thailand and go through a series of online blind dates and find, "good Thai girls", with perfect English that claim that Thai men are no good and find them too clever. Recently a 19 year old tall white beauty that is charming and unusually rational that weighs 100 lbs/45kg and finds me as her best option after getting to know me over the course of the last couple of years. She understands perfectly why I like young Thai girls and why I feel the need to go and pursue my search for love or at least lust and she's fine with that. I am not required to give her my 3, 5 and 10 year plan for our future. She is a deviant from nature of course because I had a vasectomy before she was even born but she has decided that condoms and birth control are more unnatural and a man with my experience can benefit her more than a young dude, with a six-pack and waves of golden locks mushed with gel can offer.

If I want to get heavy and talk philosophy, religion and politics, I always have my male buddies as sounding boards.

Because of Stickman, I have to say I was spared much embarrassment and pain while enjoying the young women of Thailand and I was never under any delusion that any of them loved me. Of course they have to say that they don't like Thai men and Thai guys have to call them abnormal if they don't want to marry a stereotypical lazy, dim, power drinking playboy with a skewed perspective based on what only 65 million Thais agree is normal.

If it was as easy for Thai girls to travel to Farangland as it is for me to travel to Thailand, there would be a mass exodus of good Thai girls. There is this magic crystal screen invented this generation that has allowed them to peer out into the world and see there is more to life than prince and ghost stories. Thai women online have the whole world to explore as their oyster and have hundreds of world perspectives at their finger tips. It's only the Thai girls with blinders on that aren't allowed to surf for options that still find the average Thai man their preference. I could be wrong, I was wrong a couple of times this year already, but some good Thai girls have wised up and prefer vanilla over caramel or chocolate. To each their own.

Jaccann

Stickman's thoughts:

Some classic quotes and real pearls of wisdom here. VERY nicely put together!