There Are Plenty Of Girls To Go Around
Well Jayson really has really pissed on the fire, stirred up the hornets nests call it what you will. I really liked, and thank him for his submission and the reply from Khun Sanuk. This all just confirms what I already believed. Of course most Thai girls would prefer to converse in Thai as it is easier for them, a simple matter of laziness, but there are other reasons for this also. Khun Sanuk mentioned in her excellent submission that she sometimes felt that she was assumed to be a bargirl when she was out in public with her farang husband, but these assumptions decreased and she felt better about these situations as her husband’s Thai language skills increased.
This is a point that must surely be a factor that a good/normal Thai girl will take into consideration before dating a farang. I am making an educated assumption at this stage but I think this is a significant point that Jayson did not consider. A Thai girl could date a multitude of Thai/Asian guys and largely go un-noticed but if she is seen on a date with a farang she will stand out like dogs balls and may well sustain some damage to her reputation and the “bargirl” question will be raised and the rumours will start.
For the farang in Thailand “Someone is always watching you” (and your date). How many Thai girls secretly harbour thoughts of being with a farang but self-exclude themselves due to their fears of being labelled a prostitute? This is a rhetorical question to which I don’t have an answer. (But I would like one) J
Just imagine for a minute that you are employed as an Expat in Bangkok and you instruct your beautiful young Thai personal assistant to accompany you across town on the sky train for a 2pm appointment and throughout the journey you are dictating notes to this young lovely. I am sure that your beautiful assistant will be very proud to indicate to as many folk as possible exactly what her relationship to you is all about. She will probably enjoy the opportunity to “show off” her English language skills and high status within a foreign company. She is obviously not a prostitute.
Two months later…And many skytrian journeys later…
You ask your beautiful, young Thai personal assistant out on a date and of course she will accept (if she likes you). Is there any stigma attached for a good Thai girl for having her farang boss buy her dinner? J
OK… NOW MANY OF YOU WILL NEED TO TAKE A COLD SHOWER AT THIS POINT (I just did).
You have just gained access to one of the Thai girls that Jayson says that you cannot have and Khun Sanuk says that you can have.
I believe they are both correct in a conflicting sort of way.
It’s not just about Thailand.
Here in Australia my 2nd Wife (Indonesian) and I also received the slurs that I would imagine a Thai girl might get in Thailand. Fortunately 2nd wife could not understand them but I could, and I found them very offensive: “mail order bride”, “hooker”, “Love you long time” ect. were the whispered comments. But somehow, when we switched languages and spoke in Bahasa Indonesia the degrading and offensive comments would cease and be replaced with curiosity as to how we met and where. Although I can assume (that word again) that the bigoted arseholes, male and female alike, had no idea as to what Asian language we were speaking or where 2nd wife came from, my ability to speak her language seemed to grant us more respect as a legitimate couple.
Also in support of Khun Sanuk.
When I was a Singapore based expat I found it initially difficult to crack the local “good lady” scene. I was perceived to be a “random foreigner” as Khun Sanuk so politely puts it, and was “already cut” as boyfriend material. But I found a way to counter this. When I got the opportunity to offer my business card with the Singapore address to ‘the target of opportunity’ (Lady) her attitude could quickly change and I was frequently able to save myself the expense of employing a prostitute. Business Cards were still considered pretty cool way back then, so off to the printer we went to get more. The Singapore address made all the difference even though I was the type of guy Khun Sanuk was probably trying to avoid- see my submission “Good guys gone bad” 10/11/09. It was in the days before mobile phone proliferation and my Singaporean office girls would take the messages from my perspective girlfriends which only added to my allure. (Slept with the office girls as well) ooppss! ANOTHER COLD SHOWER REQUIRED.
My Thai language skills are still poor and I am making a concerted effort to study and improve. I wish I had started sooner but that is another story (submission).
I believe that the spoken word is only one part of the communication that takes place between a couple who are in love and genuinely committed to each other. My 1st (farang) wife lied to me in perfect English.
I can communicate with my Tiny Teeruk (Tiny T’) without the need for speech, it seems like we have a spiritual connection although I don’t believe in such hokus pokus.
All things said and done; Jayson still has one point that he did not articulate directly and I apologise if I am putting words into his mouth, maybe he is too polite, but:
If you intend to become resident or frequent visitor to any country then it is a No-Brainer that out of respect for said county one should; to the best of your ability attempt to learn the language, culture and customs and become familiar and respectful of local traditions and beliefs.