Stickman Readers' Submissions February 5th, 2010

The How, Where & Why of My Thai Wife Story Part 2

Now only just back in Australasia after my first 7 day visit to Thailand and within only hours I start suffering with my first bout of ‘Thailand Fever’ or ‘Thailanditus’.

I already miss the hustle and bustle, the food and oh the girls, their smiles, lean trim brown bodies and beautiful faces and long jet-black flowing hair.

mens clinic bangkok

I try to keep in touch with Kieow, sending her a card every week and a weekly SMS message and phone call. However it is so difficult because of the communication barriers. At this stage I speak no Thai and she speaks all but no English. Lucky her younger sister can translate a little but not much – I miss her and the sister says Kieow misses me.

I dream and relive my 7 days (now they seem so long and never ending) back in Thailand again and again.

Now I must have been back all of 1 week and I wake up one morning and have that epiphany moment.

It’s my life. I can do whatever I want. Maybe two of my previous wives were right when once during the marriage (after an argument, usually about control or getting their own way) each had shouted at me that I should have married an Asian wife.

So I start thinking what is the best way to meet a Thai lady? Well, my two previous western wives I had met over the Internet. So straight to Google I go and search “meet Thai ladies” and up comes the website ‘Thai Kisses’ so I subscribe for 3 months and I am set up and away with a profile.

Now I am a real believer that honesty pays, so my profile states that I am looking for a Thai wife and that I have children and that I cannot have any more children, and wish the lady to live with me in Farangland.

Within minutes Thai ladies are wanting to chat to me and I find a few profiles that I like (mainly judged by photos then a quick read of what words may be present) and request to chat with them.

wonderland clinic

So starts the hours of aimless chats and move to MSN with pigeon English and miscommunications. Well we all start somewhere and I am a fast learner. I quickly realized it was going to be purely a numbers game to find the few good ones…

So after a few days of mind numbing verbal intercourse, I devise an online game plan and search for a partner with the following criteria and in this order:

  1. Looks from photos on profile page.
  2. Ability to communicate (speak and write) with me in English.
  3. A girl that is working (I do not mean in a bar etc!).
  4. Between 25 and 45 years old.
  5. Thai girl that has never been married.
  6. She has never had a child.
  7. If she commits to something that she keeps to that (i.e. chat again at a certain time).

If the above criteria are not met, then discard, block them and move on.

So I must have gone through 300 Thai ladies online using a mixture of surfing profiles, requesting chats, replies, real life ability to chat in English to finally get to about 20 that appeared online to fit my criteria.

Of course things progress as you get to know the ladies more and MSN does not suffice, so you switch on the webcam and see each other and each other's lives and friends and family as they come and go.

Sometimes you desire a bit more intimacy and pick up the phone and call their mobile.

So after subscribing to the dating site about three weeks had passed by and I now had a ‘Hot List’ of about 8 core ladies that I enjoyed the online company of – some ladies were very plutonic online and others gave me new experiences online with the camera!

I so desired to taste the Thailand experience again and a month had now passed by since my return – it was now early December 2008. This time it was me that called my old school friend Richard in Europe and said what are you doing for Xmas / New Year period… Well he did not take much persuasion to again arrange to meet Richard back in Bangkok for 3 weeks. We had an agenda to meet in Bangkok, fly straight to Phuket for New Year and then fly to Samui.

I got back online to my newly acquainted honeys and started to arrange face to face meetings in Bangkok, Phuket, Samui and then in Bangkok once again.

Now I must relate to you exactly my ‘game plan’ that was related individually to every Thai honey, so they knew exactly what I was doing and where they stood.

If they accepted to meet me knowing those terms all good, if not sorry but bye bye.

  1. I am coming to Thailand to look at you as a potential wife.

(This was not bullshit but 100% true).

  1. I will be meeting at least 5 other girls.

(This immediately got around the jealously issues – either she could deal with this or not).

  1. I would not pay any money for anything sexual that may occur between us.

(This was non negotiable however travel expenses, meals, drinks and some clothes and shoes was OK).

  1. You and I share a bed together and we may or may not agree to sleep together.

(This was mandatory to know how they interacted as a future wife).

  1. If I think I find a girl that meets my criteria then I will come back and spend between 2 weeks and a month to get to know you better, in your home town and meet your family and discuss marriage with you.

The above may sound black and white to you, and by golly it was! I was going to Thailand for 3 weeks with the sole intention of enjoying a working holiday – working to find a wife whilst on holiday J

So my agenda finalized looking like this:

  1. 25th Dec – Memee @ Bangkok Airport – 5 days 4 nights in BKK
  2. 29th Dec – Richard @ Airport and fly to Phuket
  3. 29th Dec – Meet Lek in Patong – 5 days 4 nights
  4. 02nd Jan – Fly to Samui with Richard
  5. 02nd Jan – Adain meet up with Kieow – 7 days 6 nights
  6. 08th Jan – I fly to Bangkok and meet Bee – 2 days 1 night
  7. 09th Jan – Change Hotel and meet Kanjana – 2 days 1 nights
  8. 11th Jan – Meet Noina – 2 days 1 night
  9. 12th Jan – Fly back home

Well that’s just about all for Part 2 – Next comes the various meetings and discovering that all is not as it appears in Thailand !!! Yes I mentioned I am a quick learner – Thinking on my feet was the order of the trip…. I loved every minute of the my 2nd trip to Thailand as much as the 1st trip….

Stickman's thoughts:

That's quite a calculated way to meet a woman. Being honest up front about it is probably best, I guess…

nana plaza