Readers' Submissions

Thai Thoughts and Anecdotes Part 246

  • Written by Dana
  • February 6th, 2010
  • 5 min read


TRANNY MEMORIES

Greetings Stickmanbangkokites, Dana fans, and tranny aficionados:

Well, you've dreamed it and now your dream is going to come true. To wit: here at Dana Enterprises we are starting a book project called Tranny Memories: Personal Reminiscences of Dana. We are accepting ideas for the book project. If you want to be heard, and if you want to be respected, and if you want to participate; just send in your ideas to Dana Enterprises — Tranny Memories Book Project Dept.– Attn: Dana. No photos please.

The theme will be my tranny memories, but we would like the book to be fun, and diverse, and varietous (made up word). Any ideas regarding font, page design, photos, text, formatting, kinds of stories, contests, limericks, poems, nonfiction, fiction, faction, medical stuff, crime reports, fetishes, interviews, parody, camp, sex techniques, prison experiences, disappointments, modelling sessions, epiphinal moments, diseases, acts of pointless violence, marriage proposals, photo sessions, etc. will be considered. History tells us and odds are that all of your ideas will be rejected as not up to standard but give it a shot anyways. Dogs like to chase sticks.

Currently, no book like this exists. We would like to produce something so noteworthy that no one even thinks about a follow-up book or a copycat book. You know how sometimes when you see a gorgeous tranny in erectus, or when you see an astonishing specimen in a see-thru white body stocking walking up Soi 8 in Pattaya; you can't think of anything else? Just takes over your mind? That's the effect we would like this book to have on the world.

Let me give you a typical easy-to-understand example. Once Pattaya Emma sent a friend over to the A.A.Hotel to see me. No gear on this girl's special friend. When she lifted her leg and pushed down her underpants with her big toe out tumbled a snake. SNAY 'N HOW. Holy Fxxxwad boys and girls — SNAY 'N HOW. At the time I was using a tranny helper shipped to me from Figi in little brown paper wrapped packages. You got a piece of paper with eye popping directions, a vial of liquid, and a syringe. I don't want to say this hardon helper was illegal; but when you think of cutting edge medical labs and products, do you think of Figi? Exactly.

Anyway, holding the tranny's log in one hand and trying to insert the syringe in the tip of her penis with the other hand was totally engrossing. I simply would not have been able to think of anything else. My mind had been taken hostage by the moment. That is the effect I would like the book Tranny Memories: Personal Reminiscences of Dana to have on readers.

Tangentially on this subject, I am reminded of a quote by my favorite British author and master of understatement: H.W. Tilman–

"And whether the hope that one indulges of seeing something new or strange is fulfilled or not, one has the minor explorer's satisfaction of treading new ground."

Help us here at Dana Enterprises make this book an exploration of new ground for the newbie, and a happy reminder for the aficionado. Help us make this dream talisman a cult classic. Be part of literary history. You have heard of Shakespeare's play Romeo and Juliet. You have heard of the novel Moby Dick. You've heard of Milton's epic poem Paradise Lost. Now let the world hear of Tranny Memories: Personal Reminiscences of Dana.

So, if you want to be a part of history; email us your ideas. And remember, no pictures–we have children in the office.

Who Loves Ya Baby?
Dana*

*Note: Dana is a critic, editor, and author who lives in Penury. He is currently producing a private subscription tri-fold called the Dana Times. Dana (Sir Dana) can not be contacted, sons and daughters of lads and lassies, but rest assured he is looking down on all of us. He dispenses wisdom the way a St. Andrew's fairway gifts early morning fog. Example:

"Glocken fon du four wood burr caddie chunder roo barbie."

See what I mean? All hail Sir Dana, master of the self-sent Greek translated birthday card, Scottish tailor's wet dream, and all around ball whacker. When you think of Sir Dana you just naturally think of ball whacking. Greek? Yes Greek. Scotland was founded by the Greeks, one of the ten lost tribes of Israel. You can read about this in issue number 44 of the Dana Times: article titled Jews, Interest Rates, and Early Scotland. No, we do not sell archived copies to the general public. Find a subscription member and maybe his butler will let you read the text in the stable. And don't forget:

"Septotem burr bracken wooden wedge abo wombat FORE."

For those of you who are interested: the Dana Times Invitational Scottish Tranny Caddy Butt Dart Golf Tournament (DTISTCBDGT) is coming up. Of course, Invitational does not mean you. However, complete coverage will be in the Dana Times including locker room pics of caddy trannies putting on kilts, interviews of FOD's (Friend's of Dana), and of course pics of the after tournament party held in a Scottish castle. Six Thai girls of the happy kind will be flown in from Pattaya and in keeping with the golf theme of the party their Thai names Wan, Fon, Gon, Lon, Bon, and Don will be changed to Mashee, Niblick, Baffy, Brassie, Cleek, and Spoon in honor of old golf clubs used to artfully hit old golf balls back in the wonder years of no taxes and plenty of servants. At any rate those are some of the after tournament party details. We expect the results to be predictable. And of course tranny caddies will be at the party in kilts and in erectus. Oh God, oh God–I am getting stabbing pains in the backs of my eyeballs.

Ciao dear readers, and remember, if the magic words for you in the up-and-coming golf tournament were 'butt dart' it's really no accident. This is Scotland, and Scotland was started by the Greeks.

Stickman's thoughts:

The more I learn about the readership, the more I think that your tranny memories title will be a hit.