Readers' Submissions

A Reply To Dazzle

  • Written by Anonymous
  • November 9th, 2009
  • 26 min read


Black Pagoda Patpong Bangkok


Dazzle obviously didn't like my submission. I have been in contact with him by email and he also stated that a lot of other people didn't like my submission too. That’s cool, he showed me how to write something properly and without criticism how I can make my writing better. He was right also that I should have submitted the piece to a different website and don’t worry this will be my last submission and my last attempt at writing. It isn’t for me. I will keep my stories for smoko breaks with my work colleagues.

I would like to clear up a few points. Firstly I started reading Stickman because I did a Google search about Thailand because I had already been to Thailand a few times and had a relationship with a Thai lady that had recently ended and was in disbelief at how everything happened in this relationship.

I met Da with good intentions in January 2007 and I hoping that this would work out and lead to marriage and that my days of being a wild butterfly were over and that we would go on to have a family. When we met she worked in a bar in Sukhumvit. I knew the owner and when he complained about her not going with customers for 2 months I asked her out and she said yes. I believed what the bar owner had said because of the look of shock when she left with me, his jaw literally hit the pavement. We spent only 3 days together because I was travelling to other parts of Asia at the time and she made me shake hands and agree to “no boom boom”. I kept my end of the bargain and we stayed in contact everyday.

I kept on asking her to come to Australia for a 2 week holiday and travel with me in Asia. The answer was always “NO”, I had good intention and didn’t want to hurt the girl so I stayed in the relationship we had. I did not send her any money nor did she ask for any. Once she said yes to come to Australia the money was going to start rolling in for her, first she had to show me that she wasn’t in it for the money. I had no problem supporting her and help her support her family. I told her I would give her money for a passport and everything to do a visa. “NO”

I went to see her in June and we started a sexual relationship., I was very gentle and the last time I was to see her a year later she asked me “why you not gentle anymore”. I wonder why? I asked her to go to Japan and South Korea with me, but she had no passport or money. So I went alone with the intention not to butterfly until she got angry with me the morning that I left for Tokyo and also refused to speak to me when I called.

At this point in time of my life I had a very fast paced lifestyle. I was travelling and was going to be back in Thailand in September, I was already booked to do a month in Thailand, Vietnam and Cambodia with a friend in December. I asked her to go, I also wanted to go to Macau in September. I didn't go to Macau because I asked Da to go and it was “NO” again, so I did the right thing and didn’t go because I wanted to spend as much time as I could with her. I had a V8 car that was my race car, it ran a best time of 11.4 seconds down the quarter mile in its street trim and a lot of people were shocked at the amount of time this car did hit the street, it was always driven to the track! I also had a race bike and I blew the gearbox on that in July that year, no problem I still had my road bike. My toys took up a lot of my time and a lot of my money. Also I had 2 small mortgages to pay.

August comes and she says she will come to Australia, cool Ill get everything for the visa and we will do it in Bangkok next month. My plans with her were for her to come for 2 weeks and see what she thinks. If she wanted to come and live she could have and worked and sent all her money home to the family, or she could have stayed in Thailand and travelled to Australia in between us travelling in Asia and hopefully we would be apart for only 5 or 6 weeks. I would have sent her a monthly allowance and if she asked for anything that was within reason she would have got the money for it because I trusted her. Now this setup would have cost me a lot of money, people always were giving me offers for the car, so I made a personal sacrifice for this girl and sold the car, this was a piece of me, I did all the mechanical work on it and there was a lot of my blood, sweat and tears in this car. My mates older brother just drove of with my car and I went inside and called Da with the news. We were talking and I said that she had to get a passport. “Have passport, going to Bali with my sisters in one week”

Huh? I went wild, I told her to go and have fun because we were finished. She sent me messages, but I wouldn’t respond. One night my phone rings. It was her sisters new boyfriend calling from Bali and that Da was very upset and that she was there alone and there was nothing sinister going on.

I forgave the girl, but now I didn’t trust her, it played on my mind, I even sent her 20,000 THB to go to English classes with her sister. All she had to do was ask, I have money, but I wasn’t going to let her know that. If she came to Australia she would have seen that!

We were hot and cold, fighting one day and ok the next. I flew out and had a stop over in Singapore where I thought things through and made a run for it, messaged her at 4.30 am Thai time and she rang me on every phone in her house until they ran out of credit. “Please come see me” I stayed in BKK, was supposed to go to Korat, but BKK was different now. I didn’t want to be banging the arse of a bargirl, I wanted to be making love to Da, she messaged me to go to Korat. I got very, very drunk in BKK and woke alone to her calling me and she talked me into going to Korat. I met the family, was happy to help her support her mother and father, I like them, I don’t think they knew anything of their daughters plans.

While I was at the farm we went to a lake, the sister drove to the lake and then went back on her friends motorbike and I had to drive their ute. I remember looking in the rear view mirror and wondering why the sister was right behind us all the way to the house. Why?

When I went back home, I sent her everything for a visa and I had to put money in her bank. My boss at the time had a Thai girlfriend, he said I had to put $1000 AUD into her bank account. I put in $1500, when I put it in I said not to spend it. She knew that I had to do this because her sister was doing a visa with her new boyfriend she went to see in Bali. One week later she says to me while laughing, “have spend money for visa, when you drive car, everything break, need fix”. At least she was original, no one I have talked to had the same thing happen. That day we were finished, you can see by my first submission how unstable I am, she knew this too. So she kept on messaging me to get more money from me and now she has another problem. FACE!

I didn’t know about the face thingy until after this, I learnt about this from reading Stickman. She knew about her culture, she should have known that if she brought a young farang to her house to meet her family and then broke up with him that she would lose face. She did it to herself, she stayed in Korat until March 08 and then went to work in Soi 33, she wanted to see me, but I couldn’t do it. I wanted a 100% relationship. I told her to find another farang, there are many who only want boom boom and a 50% relationship. This girl drove a train through my heart and I still wake up every morning thinking of her, but I wasn’t going to let her run all over me. She had a chance to travel the world and have a life where she always has money for herself and for her family. She stayed working in Soi 33 for 2 months, she said she hated Bangkok, it was dirty and she hated working in the bar. So she went back home, we spent 4 days together in July and she was now thinking like a 100% bargirl. Last I spoke to her in August 08 she couldn’t stay at home, she wanted to go to BKK and get a job in a department store. I don’t know if she couldn’t stay at home because of face and all the neighbors and family talking about her. She made that problem, not me, we both changed our phone numbers and haven’t seen each other since. Also her sister went to Australia in late 07 to see her new boyfriend. He was trying to juggle having a wife and family and a Thai girl who was half his age and lets just say that it all come unstuck for him.

She had a good opportunity and she blew it, I hope that she doesn’t make the same mistakes again and finds a guy who she wants to be with and that they have a good life together. She made my life hard for a long time, I felt stupid, all my life I had never dropped my guard, but some good things happened because of it.

Dazzle, she showed me that sex with bargirls was 100% business!

Diggins wrote, ‘I need sex with a dark skinned Asian girl, she needs money.’ Dazzle wrote, ”There should be no comparison here. She may need money, but a man does not really need to have sex with a dark-skinned Asian girl unless he has some kind of addiction or compulsive disorder. Money is a need and sex is a want.”

Would you believe that going to Thailand the first time straightened me out. When I first went to Thailand in February 2005 I had a very nasty compulsion of another kind, I was a borderline drug addict, My weekend of drugs and sex started on a Thursday night and finished on a Sunday night.

I left the refuge of mother and father when I was 15 years, 11 months to go to work in the construction industry in northern Western Australia. I was a boy thrown into 45 degree heat and into a lifestyle of alcohol, drugs, prostitution and fast cars. I have had money for everything I have ever needed to this day, maybe I traded my youth for it? Maybe that’s why I'm so wild when I'm partying in the bars of BKK and Pattaya? Maybe I still think I'm 16? I think that its just who I am and will always be, these conditions brought it out earlier.

When I came back the first time I was a changed man, I have had the yellow fever from when I was 20 years old, now I found something better, the dark Isaan girls. I have always enjoyed touching an Asian girls body, the skin is so smooth and some girls are just so tiny that once your inside you can change positions and never have to pull out. I was hooked on Asia and especially Pattaya where there were these little dark creatures every where. I had my best friends bucks (bachelor) party the week after I got back. I was some how made the best man so I had to do a speech at the wedding, my mate who was getting married came up to me half way through the night and said “hows it going?”.

“good, just taking it easy” was my reply and then he gave me a look of amazement.

“taking it easy, I can even understand what your saying”

“what do you mean?”

He informed me that every time I was at a party no one could normally understand what I was saying. His soon to be wife was hassling him about the wedding day and if I was going to get on the rocket ship to freedom and then try and make a speech in front of the all the guests then I was told to stay at home. “You do know that you have a problem?”

I always thought that everyone could understand what I was saying when my head was trying to blow off my shoulders and steam was coming from my ears. Everyone always nodded in agreement!

When I came back that first time I did a deal with myself, ”pay off your credit card and then you can book another flight.” I paid off my $12000 credit debt and limited myself to one weekend a month for drugs and whoring, I had a lot of spare time now and started to do a lot of work on my house that I lived in that I had neglected because of all the hard come downs. I was back in Thailand in October and it only took me 2 years to fully renovate my house. I was a changed man!

After I met Da my drug use slowed down even more and I had my last taste about May 07. Now that is a positive that came from being with her, I am also happy now that I did sell my car and change a lot of things in my life because if it did work out I wanted to be a good husband and possibly father and make sure my family was well provided for. I already had a strong financial position and I saved a lot of money in 08 because I had no toys, I sold my race bike in early 08 and the stock market crashing couldn’t have come at a better time for me because I have since invested heavily on the Australian metals with this money and when they return to what they were before the economy turned I will be a very happy man and I owe it all to Da.

Dazzle, we come from very different back grounds. Dazzle wrote, “When I’m at work, I expect my boss to ask me if it’s okay when he wants me to do something out of the ordinary.” When I start a job, I do my own deal, I talk to my employer before I start and I work out money and entitlements. I always get a better deal than most other guys, when my employer wants something that is out of the ordinary. Guess who gets the job? I do some very dangerous things and I know that I can die as a result of many of these things, but I love the money and I love the danger even more, I thrive on it. What does this have to do with bargirls? Nothing! You try to get value for money in every service that we get, look at Stickman's weekly column, he wants value for money. Why cant a farang get the best value out of the bar girls? I don’t get all that good value for money because I give them more than most guys. Also sucking on a girls toes, is that really that out there? Yeah bondage is, but it was all worked out before hand and a price set and the girls were happy with this. I find it funny that so many things are written about Thai girls, but not many people write about how sensual they are. I hope that sensual is a good word for it, but these girls and I may say that most woman love to be touched. I love touching these girls and love seeing them enjoying being touched.

Most girls melt when I suck on their toes and I try with every girl I have, but you just don’t start at the toes! Give the girl some passion, kiss her on her neck and make your way up to her ear and then make your way down her arm and suck on her fingers, make your way back to the neck and then down to her breasts, make sure you keep going back and kissing her on the lips. If your doing it right she will start to come to you to lock lips, then slowly make your way down her breasts and stomach and then all the way down to her feet. Now slowly suck on her toes individually, some pull away, but most will melt. I don’t think that she's thinking about Thai cultural etiquette at this point in time! She is a woman! She likes to be touched in the right way! Your feelings on sex are different to mine, you like different things to me, why do all Thai girls have to be the same? Have we also forgotten how head strong Thai women are? If she don’t like it, she will pull away. Also talking to some girls about these things in a bar when you need an interpreter isn’t the best approach, I thought that this could lead to loss of face and make some girls very uncomfortable. I know a girl in Pattaya, she is the most proper little darling around other people and doesn’t like discussing boom boom when near other people, but she is one of the most wildest girls I have ever had in the hotel room!

The BKK bargirls, why don’t they like me? I never gave it too much thought until after reading your article. They know that I know all their tricks, all they can get from is the agreed amount and that’s it. No sponsorship, no tip, no breakfast, sometimes they try to change that by pulling the 3am club trick. Its happened to me 3 times, all 3 girls left with 500thb. They changed the deal, why cant I? The deal was 3000thb long time, why should I give her 1500thb for short time? If I not give the money she will call her friend and he will come to the hotel, no problem, ill read my book while I'm waiting for him, but here's 500thb and go meet him downstairs. Stickman will say this is a dangerous move! Don’t cry love, lucky I can only hear 70% in one ear and ill turn my good ear away. Thank god for industrial deafness! Now she starts mumbling in Thai, “har roy ,bi” is my response, she isn’t going to bluff me so she grabs the 500thb note and leaves. Too many westerners are getting soft and letting these girls get away with too much. Maybe I can take this stand because of my age, I would much prefer to not have these problems, but I'm a butterfly, remember that I cant butterfly, but they can! What would you do Dazzle? But he has decorum and dresses well and treats these girls like they have worked for him for 20 years and never had a sick day or holiday in those 20 years. Funny how in Australia you would call her a whore, but in Thailand she's a sweet girl who has been forced into the bar industry!

The Eden Club, yeah I was too much for them, I'm sorry that I have strange sexual tastes. I could try to change, but that would only make me more crazy than what I already am and don’t worry I have tried and it made me worse. I'm not as hard as some guys, when I was last in Pattaya I got a farm fresh girl, I asked her back to the hotel, she said yes and then went and talked to her friend who spoke good English. The friend came back and told me that she had a customer two days before that spat all over her and pulled on her hair and was very hard on her. I told her that I would be good, she much preferred her toes being sucked on, it made her giggle. We enjoyed our time together. The last day I was in BKK on my last mission I got a day time shift girl for short time from a bar on Soi Nana, she asked if I would be gentle. Yeah ill be gentle, funny that I did my move on her and then we got into the boom boom. Was going nice and gentle with her in the reverse spoon and then she grabs my arm and start pulling on me to go harder, so I went harder and harder until I was banging the arse of her. When we were done I asked her, “what happened to gentle?” She smiled and replied, “you make me horny.”

I'm not the only guy who has problems with BKK girls, a lot guys are bypassing BKK and heading straight to Pattaya. Why? Same reason as me. Also Pattaya seems to be a more blue collar area.

My personal hygiene? Well I have dreadlocks so most Thais will say that I'm dirty, I often travel to 4 countries over 2/3 weeks and don’t stay longer than 3 days in one place except Pattaya so I bring enough shirts to wear, that’s a clean one for everyday and if need more I just buy them and don’t do a wash while I'm there. I'm sorry if I smell because my clean clothes and my dirty clothes only have a garbage bag separating them. I am only in the bar areas and most Thais you see walking around in these areas that aren't bargirls smell the same as me, also maybe your BKK girls cant accept that you’re a traveller and that you sweat more in their heat, but the Pattaya girls don’t often care too much. If it’s a problem for them they will have some fun with you and either give you 100thb to go and get some deodorant or pull out a deodorant can and happily give you a “fahlang shower”. You will find the Pattaya day shift to be very entertaining in most bars especially when you know them very well. I'm a blue collar and mix with these girls very easily and they enjoy my cheekiness, maybe you come hang out with us blue collar/Isaan and you might lighten up a little. I have only had one girl call me “quoin thin”, but I have hundreds call me “kahloong”. Also you have never heard of the “fahlang shower”, remember in Australia we call it the “pommie shower”!

Why would I want to wear good clothes? If Dazzle walks into a bar well dressed and smelling good every girl smiles at him, how can he separate the pocket rockets from the starfish? I walk into a bar where the girls don’t know me with my smelly hair and shitty, daggy clothes only 25% of the girls smile at me. Good, their the girls that I'm interested in, remember that I want good sex not companionship. I will sit down away from the girls and order my drink. I will start drinking my beer and look at the options, I see a girl I like and after we make eye contact and a smile is exchanged I will wave her over. I don’t want to take to long deciding because another might sit next to me that I don’t want sitting there, she sits down and we do the usual question routine. First they always ask about my hair, I will always pull a dread aside and say to her to smell it. I shampoo my hair everyday, I missed out on the hottest Isaan girl I have ever laid eyes on because she smelled my hair and back then I only washed it once a week. Now every girl that smells it smiles when she smells it, it’s a real smile because I often get a friend to smell my hair for added insurance. Hopefully she says something about my dark forearms and puts her little Isaan arm next to mine. My response is “dum, suay muk muk”, she smiles “you can speak Thai”, “nit noy”, “what can you say?”, good, she's asking the right questions. “dum dort ma kup”, if she smiles and slaps me on the arm or the leg and calls me “Kahloong”, then she is a lady that I want to spend some time with and 9/10 she will be a girl who's happy for me to suck on her toes. I dress like this because it is who I am and also I don’t want people to know that I have money and it helps separate the girls.. I am sorry to the Thai people and its not that I disrespect your culture, I am more comfortable in these clothes and wouldn’t enjoy myself as much if I was dressed in good pants, good shirt and shoes. Also Dazzle I never walk around bare chested like you would think!

To Stickman, remember you wouldn’t be a minor celebrity if it wasn’t for the bar industry and guys like me coming to these bars. I am also starting to notice that more of the regular Thai girls are starting to look at me more and I get many more smiles from the girls in the airports and department stores now than when I did 3 years ago. Why is this? Maybe Thai women are starting to get bored with the well dressed superficial farangs that are in BKK. Maybe in this economic climate at the moment they are willing to take any dirty smelly farang to get some baht? Maybe the Pattaya girls have told them about the “cashed up bogans” who work in the building trades and while they look poor actually have a lot of money and are easy spenders and are usually very easy going people until crossed.

As for always staying in the bars? I will retire to south east Asia in about five years. I will sell all my assets and leave my money in Australia and it will never leave its shores. I will easily have $1.2m, if I get 10% interest, that's $120 000 and have looked into the tax rate on that. My uncle works for the ATO and he says if I am living abroad then the tax rate is 10%, my friend is an accountant he thinks its more. Either way I will have a healthy little monthly allowance. Now I could easily a afford to find myself a Thai girlfriend, maybe I could get one of the hi so crowd if I dressed well enough and cut off my hair, a nice little piece from a good family who already have money and nice white skin and a university education who speaks better English than me and who also looks down on the Isaan/blue collars. They will take me up in status!

Unfortunately I have other plans, I will first go to Pattaya and do a Thai course that will give me a one year visa and hopefully I can speak reasonable Thai after that year. When I'm confident enough in my Thai ability I will go to BKK or elsewhere and go and live in a lower class area. Hopefully I will find my little Lek somewhere here amongst the lower classes, If she cant speak English then hopefully my Thai will do the trick. She doesn’t need an education, I'm just looking for a simple, small, dark skinned girl with little black feet who will give 100% to our relationship and not try and hustle me for money, if she does the right thing by me then she will have a life where she will have money for herself and her family. I'm a simple person and all I'm looking for is a cool simple girl. Maybe ill never find her and the cultural barrier will be too much? I would rather be having cultural differences with an Isaan girl than have a high maintenance hi so girl. Maybe ill find out the hard way that the lower class Isaan girl will be more maintenance than the hi so. Ill have fun finding out!

To Dazzle, we are very different and have very different views. You were straight up, you call a spade a spade, an upfront honest person is hard to come by and not just in Thailand!

I'm sorry if I offended anyone with my first submission and hopefully this is better. I would like to waste more of your time, but my eyes are sore and I have a plane to catch.

John Diggins

Thai Dating, Singles and Personals

Stickman's thoughts:

Sorry, I could not read this. I got 1/3 way through and that was too much for me…