Readers' Submissions

Thai Thoughts and Anecdotes Part 233

  • Written by Dana
  • November 7th, 2009
  • 5 min read


Introduction

Can we talk? No, what I mean is: can I tell you something personal without you blabbing it all over town? One of the marks of an adult is the ability to keep a secret. If friends can't honor each other's friendship by keeping secrets then they are not really friends are they? Exactly. Ok . . .

Here's the deal. I'm a bedwetter. That's right. I'm a pisser, leaker, splurger, weeper, puddler, and all night dribbler. So I have to wear medical girdles, or rubber pants, or catheter bottle arrangements, or giant underpants stuffed with shredded up copies of the Bangkok Post newspaper. Not really a problem sleeping alone (and of course at home in Boston I have rubber sheets), but naked 'long times' in Thailand can sometimes be challenging.

Example: the other night Fa asks me to get up and turn down the aircon in the A.A. Hotel. Getting back into the bed I put my right knee on the bed, then both of my arms, then I start to lower my right shoulder with my head aimed at the pillow when all of a sudden . . . but that is not really what I want to talk about today. What I really want to talk about today is:


IT'S TIME FOR WIKIPEDIA

Greetings and chok dee khraps Stickmanbangkokites and lessor mortals: Dana here at the Fxxx The French bar across the street from the Lick It Kwik massage emporium and nail salon pounding out another essay on my bartop laptop. To wit: another cut crystal shard of literary brilliance, visionary ideas, social necessity, and . . . ok, I'm not getting paid by the word on this cheap ass website so I'll cut to the chase.

I believe that the Thai-farang Internet stories and essays of the last eight years on this and other websites have value. In other words, like all other things of value, this body of literary work should be respected, endorsed, preserved, paid attention to, and broadcast.

Just as the African sun lights up the diamond for others to discover, we may have to shine the light on our own literary diamonds. In other words: I believe it would benefit all of mankind (I've had two Gin & Tonics) if we aggressively, with calculation and forethought, began to write reviews of our work and post them on Wikipedia. Not to put too fine a point on it–if we do not promote ourselves, who is going to?

I don't mean individual reviews of individual stories or individual essays, but reviews of the author's body of work. For example: someone with writing skill, interest, focus, knowledge of the subject, and intelligence could do a ten thousand word monograph on the body of work of the author Marc Holt and post it on Wikipedia. This way the world would be able to find out about one of the participants in this literary genre before we all die of STD's, liver cancer, condom snaps to the temple, and falls from Pattaya balconies.

Do other names come to mind that deserve this Wikipedia attention? Of course–Cent, Union Hill, IndyUK, Pothole Research, Hans Meier, Frank Visakay, Dr. JA Earnshawe, Fa, etc. Ok, Fa is not really a writer, but you ought to hear what she says when I ask her to kiss me on the lips. A book of these quotes and excuses for not doing so would make great reading. Anyway, these are just names I pulled out of my head. There are more names than this. In fact, if you think you deserve to be considered just contact me. Naturally, we could not write these reviews about ourselves for reasons of humility, and objectivity, and social acceptance so we would have to establish some kind of pairing protocol. Only one exception: in my case there is no one qualified to write about me except me so I will make the submission of a 50,000 word monograph to Wikipedia. As with many things, the exception proves the rule (now two Gin & Tonics plus one Black Russian) but for the rest of the barnacles on the hull it would be a requirement that someone else write a review of your work other than you.

As per my usual serendipitous synapsian activity this idea has genius written all over it. Excuse me . . .

Dana: Oh, hi Wan–how are you?
Wan: You buy dwink?
Me: Sure, would you like to share a Scorpian bowl?
Wan: Up to you. Will it have scorpians in it?
Me: One Scorpian bowl please.

So . . . and so anyway: there you have it Dana fans–I believe we should start a program of writing serious scholarly essays on each other's work and get them posted on Wikipedia. Think of humanity.

Now, I know what you are thinking and I can feel your pain. With the sensitivity of a chaos theory butterfly I can feel tension in the social-literary Force. You All Want To Write About Me. Well, of course you do. Is the bear a Catholic? Does the Pope crap in the woods (two gin Gin & Tonics, one Black Russian, and half a Scorpian bowl)?

Wan: Dwink good.
Dana: I luf you.
Wan: Bagwan
Dana: Mai bagwan, jai dee.
Wan: I luf you too mut maak hansum man kuhn Dana.

At any rate, we have covered that–the subject of you writing about my work. Only I am qualified to write about me. Look at it this way, when it was time for someone to get nailed to the cross did another name come up besides Jesus? Exactly. I think I have made my point.

For perhaps some nuance on this idea or another point-of-view on this very important subject and visionary strategy for shining the light on literary Thai-farang genre diamonds you might consider contacting Marc Holt. A recent email from him indicated that although he is happy with his new life in Oz he is starting to tire of diddling his wombat and he needs a project. Excuse me . . .

Dana: Short Time or Long Time?
Wan: Up to you.

At any rate, I believe that we have reached the evolutionary time in this literary genre to start kickstarting preservation, attention, and giving and getting credit where credit is due. It will be good for us, it will be good for Wikipedia, it will good for Mr. Holt's wombat, and it will be good for humanity.

Sincerely yours.
Dana

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