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Stickman Readers' Submissions May 18th, 2009

The Story of ‘J’ – Continued

Only a slight connection with Thailand here, I’m afraid, but this is all about a SEA lady – a Filippina.

In a previous submission I’ve said how she was working a 78 hour working week for shit pay. This in an EU country.

He Clinic Bangkok

Things have come to a head. On 16 April the Immigration Department here wrote her a letter saying that they had considered her case etc. etc. and she had twenty days to leave the country.

She received that letter yesterday – two days after the ‘twenty day’ notice had expired. And ‘gosh’ she is owed a month’s pay.

She is a genuine and lovely lady. ‘Demure’ is probably the best way to describe her. She is 44, has an adult son. We spent last night in bed together and to be honest if someone had told me she was a 20 year old virgin I could not have argued. If you told me that her son was the result of ‘innocent’ fumblings when she was a young woman I would think you were about right. And sexual experience since? Minimal to nil, I would guess, certainly an absence of any shared experience that brought her to orgasm.

This is a lady who believes that holding hands in public is just about ok. Any further public demonstration of affection is shameful. I am happy to go along with that. Private displays of affection are different. She wants to learn.

So now I am in the situation of being a potential law-breaker. Ironic, really, for someone who spent 30 years as a cop.

Immigration here seem to be having a bit of a ‘splurge’. The reality is ugly. A few days in the holding centre – money and possessions are reportedly routinely stolen and women are regarded as ‘fair game’.

I have come to a decision. First, this Filippina is a ‘keeper’. No argument about that at all. No, she isn’t a small-bodied SE Asian goddess, she is a ‘normal’ woman with a smile, a demeanour and behaviour that melts my heart. I am not prepared to lose her. Second, against all my previous principles I don’t give a flying f**k for the laws, the rules and whatever.

And so, ‘J’ is moving in with me. Being a Filippina, she probably has the ‘Imelda’ syndrome and will have more shoes and clothes than she could wear in a lifetime. But she will be off the radar and at least we have time to regroup, think and plan.

Next week will no doubt be spent with lawyers and consulates. The fees will be expensive – but still only a fraction of what the ex-TGF extracted. There is a ‘fall-back’ plan – a local RC priest (and ‘J’, like many or most Filipinas is a good RC girl) is known for his help in sorting out these matters.

Marriage was the last thing on my mind but a very recent medical scare made me think of the adage ‘carpe diem’. While I was contemplating my future, or the lack of a useful one, in the waiting room I came to the conclusion that the one person I wished could be with me was ‘J’. I realised that life is too short to fart about with and you can take all the time you want to make the ‘big decisions’ – then walk under a bus!

So, I have arrived at this. We (and I consider it a ‘we’ thing now) have about a month to go through the appeal process. A month to try living together. If the appeal fails she is liable to arrest/deportation, and I will not let that happen.

Last night after some confused arrangements about bringing her ‘stuff’ to my apartment (confusing to her but not for me – she genuinely finds it hard to understand (I believe) that someone cares about her) I went to the local Chinese / Thai restaurant for a take-away. This is the place where Momma Nong (mother of ex TGF) works. Unexpectedly she saw me, invited me into the kitchen, and we had a brief chat.

I told her that ex TGF and I had severed all communication and that I now had a serious Filippina girlfriend. Momma smiled and nodded in a ‘knowing’ way – there was no ill-will whatsoever – and doubled my order at no extra charge. I was left with the impression that she thought I had tried my best but her daughter was beyond redemption – or at least by me.

‘J’ has gone off this morning to collect her worldly goods from her ‘tied’ accommodation. She has called her employer to tell him she won’t be back. She has already confessed her fears to me about adapting to my ‘luxurious’ lifestyle (no, it really isn’t – it’s just an ordinary life) but I am confident that we can ‘give it a go’ together. We have already talked about the basics (including money to aged mother and my contribution to her son will be a letter telling him to get off his ass and find a job – she laughed and agreed it would be a good idea).

No doubt later today my apartment, or at least the spare bedroom, will be full to overflowing with her stuff. (I should have mentioned earlier that when I invited her to come and stay with me I gave her the option to use the spare room or sleep with me. Happily, she chose to sleep with me.) But … you make adjustments. She has to adjust to living with me, I have to adjust to giving up my ‘single’ lifestyle. She is, as I said earlier, a ‘keeper’ and as far as I can see for now she’s worth it.

And ‘for now’ is about as about as far as many of us want to look ahead.

Stickman's thoughts:

I wish you and her luck. Let us know how it works out (I am sure you were going to anyway!)