Brokenman We Feel For You
Reading through the submissions in response to Brokenman’s latest we have a variety of responses.. People seem to be taking exception to each other's responses. After all, Brokenman is a heck of a nice guy and I think we can all agree we want the best for the man.
So why the exceptions? Why the harsh words? Why all the differences of opinion?
We all have different frames of reference, different experiences, and different expectations. These responses show with detail why there isn’t a “one size fits all” woman when it comes to marriage, and in the same thrust why there is no “one size fits all” man. We’re different people and we have different requirements.
One key on the keychain to success is to examine yourself and understand exactly what it is that makes you as an individual different from others. What is it about you that significantly deviates from the mean enough to signal different requirements might be necessary? Everyone has one or several of these differences and they must be understood.
Having met Brokenman I instantly liked him. Before I met him I considered him the best writer on the Stickman site. I don’t say this lightly. He has a way of drawing you into his world using words and phrases and excellent story telling. He’s honest, he’s humble, he is pretty much What You See Is What You Get (WYSIWYG).
No one here knows if his marriage is over. No one knows if Nat is bad or good. Brokenman will work this out on his own time and I’m sure he’ll consider the well-intentioned advice in the response submissions and feedback email. The man is more than capable of sorting through all this and coming up with a good decision.
Now we have others saying they’re scared to get involved with Thai women. If Brokenman can fail, then anyone can fail. It’s true, anyone can fail. But it has nothing at all to do with Brokenman and Nat, and everything to do with you and your partner. Don’t panic.
There have been some responses saying Brokenman did everything right, covered all the bases, and couldn’t be expected to pay any more due diligence than he already did. I disagree with this. For sure he went about this with much thought and armed with the experience of others before him. Still, when something fails there is a reason why and I’ll bet the man will realize his failings with time and share them with us. When he does, pay attention. They’ll be pearls of wisdom for sure.
Another Thai woman in Brokenman's future? Even I find myself running through my list of available women and thinking which one would be perfect for him. This is a mistake. He’s not there yet.
Brokenman is married and he’s got a lot of soul searching and thinking to do. Marriage is supposed to be forever. You’re supposed to overcome the “or worse”, and you’re supposed to give your marriage more effort than anything else in your life. I think he will.
I’ve been divorced and I know a lot of divorced people. Overwhelmingly, both partners are good people doing the very best they can. For some reason they just didn’t fit. Brokenman will know if this is the case. But he needn’t hurry to this decision. The world won’t stop turning if he takes his time and gives his marriage the most serious consideration.
Everyone has been generous with their advice. Even the malcontents. Now it’s time to let things take their natural course.
Brokenman, we all feel for you and wish you the best. We know you’ll make the best decision for yourself.
Until next time..
WAIT! Put the brakes on gentlemen! I just realized the above submission was way less than the 800 word requirement. Damn! It said everything I wanted to say and I think adding more will distract from the message. What’s a man supposed to do? How about a bonus section.. ;o)
There are good Thai women out there and I’m going to detail a short profile of one of the several I have personally known for at least two years and then discuss some conversations I’ve had with her.
Ms T. Ms. T is 25 and very small and even more cute. Cute enough to be included in my photography column more than once. Maybe 5’2”, 100 shapely pounds, long lush black hair, perfectly clear light skin, and a smile to die for.
In all the time I’ve known Ms. T she’s always been pleasant and fun to spend time with. Her best feature, and I hesitate to say this.. is that she’s an orphan. I met her through my wife, who met her while earning ‘teaching credit’ hours working at an international pre-school as a requirement for her teaching degree.
An unlimited supply of patience is required with small children and she performs her duties with a smile. She’ll graduate in a few months and be qualified to teach at Thai schools. Her English is adequate and she’s eager to learn more. During the time she’s attended the university she has mostly kept to herself and lived in a small room above her work. My wife tells me she has few friends because most women her age are interested in activities she doesn’t care for such as parties, dancing, drinking, and chasing boys.
Once I asked her about her future, what she hoped for herself, and did she plan on marrying. She started by saying all she’s ever wanted was a family, but she strongly hesitates because many Thai women she knows in relationships have bad experiences or aren’t happy. She explains she doesn’t want a family bad enough to make poor decisions, be mistreated, or hurry into something.
“Who is your ideal husband?” She blushes and tells me I’ll think she’s not sincere if she answers truthfully. I tell her to try me. She says she wants a man older than her because they’re more serious about life and family. “How old?” I ask. She says it doesn’t matter, but she wants a man who is active and likes to do things out of the house as much as possible. She goes on to describe walking, sightseeing, and visiting friends. She adds that she desires a family, but wants to be married at least five years before starting one.
“Would you rather marry a Thai man or a foreigner?” She says the only foreigner she knows is me so she hasn’t much experience. She expresses her caution with Thai men but says she knows many good Thai men who are married to her friends and who treat her friends well. She hesitates and adds “would you introduce me to a foreigner, am I good enough?” “Will a foreign man be happy with me having a career? I want my own career and have my own interests. Thai men expect their women to only be concerned with their career and interests. ”
I tell her she’s fine, but I will only introduce her to someone I know to be serious. She seems happy with this answer and has never brought the subject up again. She continues to work towards her degree completion.
I’ll also add, Caesar my parrot likes her a lot. In my experience he’s an excellent judge of character.
What's the bet you get a few emails from readers interested in meeting Ms. T?
I also very much agree with what you say about Brokenman's next submission, whenever that may be. His reflections on the whole Nat situation will be real pearls of wisdom.