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Everything You Know About Thailand Is Wrong – Or How To Get The Hottest Thai Girls

  • Written by Crater
  • April 8th, 2009
  • 35 min read


Most of the conventional wisdom on Thailand is wrong – or, forget everything you ever thought you knew about Thailand. In order to believe half this stuff, you have to believe that the Thais are not really human. But Thais are human, subject to the same motivations, passions, weaknesses, and strengths the rest of us are.

Further, much of this is the "official" version, the stuff a society puts out about itself to make itself look good, without ever revealing how things REALLY work in that society. If you judged Western societies by the "official version", you would be completely wrong about almost everything and would not be able to function effectively.

Just to take a very, very, random and brief example. Modesty. Supposedly, modesty is a virtue in Thai society. This is the official version the Thais put about themselves. In reality, Thais are proud and arrogant and show off whenever they possibly can, while paying lip service to modesty in unimportant matters. A Thai guy, if he can, will drive the most expensive car, wear the most expensive clothing, deck himself out in gold, ostentatiously mistreat his social inferiors, and demand obsequious respect from those who serve him. But if you compliment a Thai, he will politely and "modestly" refuse the compliment. Modest? Yeah, right. If you are the unfortunate farang who believes the official line about modesty, you will be severely compromised in dealing with Thais effectively.

Anyways, that was just a random example. What I really want to talk about is the subject that most guys on this site really care about; girls, and more importantly, how to get the best ones.

The "official" version says that Thai girls like "nice" guys, and you must be polite, smile a lot, be friendly and respectful, blah blah fucking blah. This is not so different from the "official" version in the West, really, except supposedly you're supposed to be even nicer in Thailand. Yet we all know that despite the official version, nice guys always finish last with girls. Recently, evolutionary psychology has been explaining why that is, but that's not the point here. The point is it's a fact. Are Thai girls really different? Is their biology somehow different from women elsewhere in the world? No, they aren't. They're exactly the same as women everywhere else and feel an uncontrollable attraction to the same sorts of guys.

About smiling. I think of it as the tyranny of the smile. Because everyone tells you the best way to get ahead and succeed in Thailand is to smile, smile, smile. It took me a long time, to learn that this is worse than wrong, it is actually DANGEROUS advice to give anyone new to the country. The truth is, if you smile excessively and are excessively nice in Thailand, you are sending out the wrong signals to Thais (that you are low-status and can be treated poorly with indifference. A smile is a sign of supplication) and will be severely hurting your chances of being treated with respect by Thai men or women. This is true of any country, really, not just Thailand, but in Thailand it can actually be dangerous in certain situations to convey signs of too low status.

Sometimes I think the entire Thai-culture-explaining industry is a giant con job put out to render farang helpless before Thais, or at least to weaken them dramatically. In reality most of this wretched material is written by hopelessly naive political correct types – so called "experts" who live in Thailand and have little outside perspective on it.

All societies are status conscious, but Thailand even more so than any Western society. The trick to get ahead in Thai society and get treated with the most respect by Thais both male and female – is to not be "nice" but to convey high status.

It took me a long time to figure this out. I was sent on a hopeless detour by reading all those Thai culture guides and all the drivel that's all over the web.

My own great moment of insight came, luckily, fairly early in my Thailand career. I had read all about Thai culture and how important it is to non-confrontational, polite, deferential, respectful, smile all the time, bla blah bla ad nauseum. I had read that Thais are a bit scared of us angry farang and that the only way to succeed with Thais is to try and be as nice, as pleasant, as non-scary as possible, to smile as much as possible.

So that's what I did. I made a conscious effort to screw my face into an amiable expression of bland "niceness", to wear a huge and pleasant smile on my face, and to be as generally "nice" as I could be. Sure of my success, of my ability to demonstrate to Thais that I am not like the other aggressive farang, I went out into the night to try my luck.

No Thai girls noticed me. The only ones who paid me any attention at all were the weirdoes and ugliest who I had too much self-respect to talk to.

I continued for some time in this way, increasingly frustrated and annoyed, unsure of what was happening since I was supposedly doing everything right. But then two curious things happened. I started really looking around me at what takes place in Thailand, for the first time ever. Not what everyone told me is SUPPOSED to take place, but at what ACTUALLY takes place. I began to analyze what I saw. The few times I saw farang with hot, quality girls (a rare enough occurrence that it took time for the insight to congeal) they were almost never smiling, in fact their body language and facial expressions made them seem like not very nice guys at all. I remember thinking, how can these guys who look like assholes be with such hot girls whereas I am doing everything right and getting nowhere? Don't the girls see those guys are assholes? Don't they see my bright, beaming face and that I am oozing niceness through my pores? Don't Thais prefer niceness?

Then I started looking at the Thai guys who were with the hottest girls and things got even more curious. These guys weren't smiling and didn't seem like nice guys either! What is going on here? Try this yourself next time you go out. Look around you and be honest about what you see.

Eventually I got pissed off and just concluded that Thai girls just don't like non-Thai guys – a soothing, consoling thought that many a farang hides his own inadequacies behind – and gave up. I no longer "tried" to be liked by Thais. I went out the first night after that mental shift in a pissed off mood. I barely smiled at all and nothing about me suggested niceness. In fact if anything I looked slightly angry, I had an intense, indifferent, slightly cold look on my face. I just didn't give a shit – fuck it, if they don't reward me for trying to "act Thai", to observe their culture, then why bother?

The resultant change in my reception by Thai people was sudden and bewildering and defied every cultural stereotype of how Thais are SUPPOSED to behave. Suddenly Thai girls started noticing me! Here I was, not smiling serious, intense, even pissed off, and Thai girls are noticing me. CUTE Thai girls, not the usual fuglies! But how can this be? Not only am I not smiling and oozing niceness, I am even a bit angry and annoyed. Doesn't this violate everything all those books say about Thai culture? Aren't Thais gonna be frightened of me? Don't you always have to SMILE in Thailand?

And then, slowly, it dawned one me. When you smile excessively and try to be too nice you are sending a loud, clear message through every pore of your body that you are a low-quality male, that you are begging for others to like you and have no self-confidence and value, that you are low status. You are supplicating. You are practically shouting to Thai girls "please, please like me! I am a nice guy who will do everything in my power to please you! I've never been with hot girls before and I want you so much to like me" And of course nothing, but nothing is more of a turn off for girls than a man who tries too hard to please and has no ego and no self-confidence.

By smiling and being too nice I was defining myself as the quintessential "beta male", as far from the alpha male all women want as it is possible to be. Thai girls are not somehow immune from the universal female disinterest – verging on disgust – for weak, beta males. It is a biological imperative in the female across the human species. I was led astray by all the idiotic blather about "unique Thai culture", which is so mistaken and unsophisticated in so many other ways as well.

I am not saying you should NEVER smile and never be nice. I AM saying that you should smile LESS, much less, possibly less than you would back home even, and that if it is a choice between smiling excessively like a dolt or not smiling at all, you will probably get hotter, higher quality girls without smiling at all and looking like an asshole. Obviously looking like an asshole isn't ideal, but I have to say I've gotten better quality pussy looking like an asshole than by smiling too much and being nice, those times when I went out pissed off. As a rule of thumb, smile LESS, and don't smile for the "wrong" reason – in order to be liked. If you are GENUINELY happy and cheerful, by all means express it, but don't smile just to be "pleasant" and liked. Don't "supplicate smile" in order to win approval.

Thais have a dog's sense of smell for behavior that signals lower status, and if you are smiling and being nice in order to win the approval of a Thai, you will be surprised at how quickly the dynamic of the encounter will change – to your detriment.

Be prepared to reconsider the myth that Thai people smile and are cheerful all the time, also. It's propaganda. Frankly, I don't see it. Look at high status Thai people – they are most often reserved, aloof, they carry themselves with self-respect. They smile sparingly. I would say a deadpan expression is far more common on the face of a Thai than a smile.



The smile DOES occupy a special position in Thai society – it is used much more often than in the West as a nonverbal form of communicating apology, shame, regret, etc. but it is always the lower status person who is communicating these things. That's why the smile in Thailand is widely misunderstood. It isn't a sign of friendliness necessarily. It is used for expressing things that in the West we would use words or other gestures for, but many if not MOST of these things are expressions of lower status.

Thais also consider it good form to smile at foreigners, tourists – us. Why? Even here, the smile is an entirely SYMBOLIC lowering of the status of the Thai in front of an honored guest. It is like the respectful bow in Japan. When you bow, you symbolically lower your status to show respect. It is merely symbolic and says nothing about your real intentions. It isn't cynical, but it isn't a sign of friendliness, either. It is just good form.

When a Thai girl gives you one of those radiant, ear to ear smiles, you should return her smile at around 65% heat – don't match the radiance of her smile and certainly don't exceed it! This way you convey status and non-approval seeking behavior.

What so many farang don't get is that while the smile does occupy a special place in Thai society, it is not a value neutral gesture but laden with implications for your status. The guy who smiles more is almost always the lower status guy in Thai society.

I am focusing on the smile because it is the most visible sign of what is wrong with much advice on Thailand, but my real target is the underlying attitude – being too nice and approval-seeking behavior. I don't want to give the impression that genuine friendliness is bad. It isn't. Smiling can be good, just not too much.

Further, consider which Thais you wish to emulate when trying to "fit in" with Thai society – the som tam seller down the soi or the office worker? "Thai culture" in many ways means entirely different things to these people. There is no SINGLE way of acting Thai that spans all sectors of society. How you act, how you are ALLOWED to act, depends on your status.

Most of us think of Asian men as soft, effeminate, weak, non-aggressive, non-confrontational, as kind of natural "beta males". This is true in the world at large, but it isn't true in Thailand. It may shock some of you to learn that in Thailand, Western men are perceived as weak, easily manipulated, as the quintessential "beta males"!

And THAT is one of the main reasons Western men rate so low as a group with Thai women, even with the prostitutes (and no, Japanese men are NOT preferred by the whores because they pay more. They usually pay LESS, in fact. But more about this in a moment). As a group, we have defined ourselves as classic beta males – wimpy, weak, and eager to please, willing to let a woman control us. But women don't want to control men. They want men to control THEM.



It may come as a shock to some, but those supposed traits of the Thai male which many sadly confused farang firmly proclaim make them "inferior" to a Western man (often with a sad and bewildered sigh that despite their wonderful "superiority" to Thai men, they just can't seem to get the hot Thai chicks) – that Thai men dominate their women, that they don't put them on a pedestal and treat them with exaggerated respect, that they are sometimes philandering – are EXACTLY the things that make Thai men more attractive to Thai women! Women don't WANT to be put on a pedestal. Women WANT a guy who is psychologically dominant. Women WANT a guy who has options and can get other beautiful women (it demonstrates his high-status), EVEN if it makes them jealous. Sorry, Thai-resident farang chumps, but Thai guys got your asses beat in the "manliness" department when it comes to how to relate to a woman. Don't fool yourselves on why you can't ever seem to get the hot Thai girls! Look at the few farang who DO get the hot Thai girls, they aren't that different in behavior from the "inferior" Thai men. And look at the legions of farang guys back home who have no interest in Thai girls and who can get the hot white girls that you always wanted but couldn't get, they don't act that different from the "inferior" Thai men either. Think about it.

As foreigners in Thailand, we have several things going against us, and some things going for us. Few people realize that one of the main things we have going against us, if not THE main thing – and the only thing it is within our power to CHANGE – is our reputation as "beta males". Contrary to what many think, what damages our rep most with normal Thai girls is NOT that we are not polite enough, that we are sometimes rude and uncouth and don't dress well, etc. This isn't the MAIN issue. This is NOT how female psychology works. It is those qualities of ours which define us as low quality, low status men, as "beta males" – our willingness to consort with the ugliest, lowest quality Thai women (it is impossible to overstate the importance of that one), our willingness to be controlled and manipulated by these women and unwillingness to stand up for ourselves. Don't fool yourselves! The Chinese are often rude and aggressive, the Japanese less so, but also occasionally.



What hurts us most with Thai girls is everything we do that defines us as low quality, beta males, as low status. Our occasional indiscretions and lack of refinement would be easily overlooked. Some Japanese, Chinese, and Korean guys can be shockingly rough.

The position of the Asian man in the West is analogous. Consider for a moment. WHY are Asian men in the West perceived as having such low sexual desirability, despite their high status markers (good jobs, wealth, etc)? Because of their perceived "non-dominant" personality traits, because of their perceived classic "beta male", subservient, weak, lacking passion, personality traits, that negates their advantages in the social status department. Black men, despite their extreme and obvious handicaps in the social status department, are actually perceived as much more sexually desirable than Asians, such is the power of having desirable male personality traits on the psychology of women. It is even more important than wealth, another thing girls get wet for! We farang have wealth, but it isn't enough.

Now it is true that Western guys who "fall in love" with Thailand are nearly always – possibly by definition – classic beta, even omega males, insecure, lacking in self-confidence with women, never been with truly hot girls, etc. That's generally WHY they "fall in love" with Thailand – they are "beta males" who couldn't hack it back home (please, please, please spare me the idiocy about Thai girls being so much more beautiful than "fat" white girls. Only the bottom 50% – i.e., classic "beta male" territory – of white girls are fat and poorly presented, and ONLY in the "Anglosphere" countries, not the rest of the farang world. The top 50% of white girls are stunning. And besides, countries like Spain, Argentina, Ukraine, Sweden, Israel, to name just a few at random, have stunning white women who are thin and well presented on all levels, so Thailand is hardly special in this respect. A white guy who rants about "fat, ugly, poorly dressed" white girls merely reveals that that is what he has been limited to back home by his status as a "beta male". I always tell my female Thai friends that the surest indication of a farang who is a sexual loser is if he starts talking bad about "ugly" farang girls. After all, what sorts of Thai girls badmouth Thai men? We all know the answer to that, don't we! Think about that, for a moment) Fine. Nothing we can do about that. But must we make it worse by writing all that nonsense about the importance of being nice, polite, and smiling all the time – in other words, advising newbies to adopt a posture of deference to Thai society? Yet deference is the worst possible posture a foreigner can adopt in Thai society! Basic respect, yes. Deference, no. Wouldn't it be infinitely better to write a short manual for the newbie explaining the importance of the status system in Thailand and the importance of conducting oneself with self-respect and pride, and avoiding giving out signals of low-status by being excessively nice or smiling, and the importance of standing up for yourself? In other words, a manual the exact opposite of the stuff written today?

The good news is that the image of Western men in Thailand is NOT monochromatic. Thais are highly ambivalent about us. On the one hand they are subjected to the worst possible images of our behaviour and traits in their own country, on the other hand they are very aware that their own elites go to the West to get educated and are infatuated with Western culture, etc, etc – there is no need to enumerate the ways in which the West has positive image in Thailand. The Western "brand" is not irredeemably tainted in Thailand, it is just complicated by conflicting messages.



The truth is there are very few culture specific dating tips for Thailand that would not apply anywhere in the world. The reason these "tips" strike many farang here as unfamiliar and exotic is because these guys are utterly clueless as to how to pick up and keep girls anywhere in the world – that's WHY they are in Thailand to begin with. Be a leader, etc – does anyone really believe this is specific to THAILAND? I mean, come on! Girls everywhere like want a man who is a leader!

The trick is don't supplicate to Thai people. Don't try to win the approval of Thai people. Approach them as a proud equal – respect for respect. Be prepared to walk away from any relationship with a Thai if you don't get the full amount of respect you deserve. Many farang come to Thailand with a mental attitude of trying to win their approval – is it any wonder then that Thais don't treat these people with respect? Don't slavishly follow EVERY aspect of Thai culture – some you should, some you shouldn't. Judge.

If you approach pretty Thai girls from a mental position of strength, that you don't slavishly need their approval, you will win their respect and your sexual aura will increase tremendously.

The astonishing thing is just how many Thai girls – pretty, quality ones – are in the end open to farang. Really, quality Thai girls should not be open to farang guys at all. White societies are a million times more arrogant and racist and full of a sense of our own superiority. Consider. In our countries, Asian men are mostly hard working, decent, well dressed, upwardly mobile types with excellent jobs, lots of money, etc. and yet their sexual status is STILL almost nil! Recent surveys have shown that in the West, Asian men score lower on the desirability scale even with their own women! Formal, institutionalized racism has been abolished in the West to an extent inconceivable in Asia, and this is to our credit – but an informal, yet rigidly observed, racial pecking order is till VERY much in force in the West. The West is still living in the afterglow of the incredible, almost impossible success of our societies and culture on the world stage – and it is perhaps inevitable that we should have this invincible feeling of our own superiority. The fact that we have made a serious effort to restrain that feeling is to our great credit.

This whole idea that the prettier Thai girls, even the prettier "naughty girls", prefer Asian guys over white guys, I am no longer sure this is correct at all. Or at least it is far less serious than many here have been led to believe. I used to believe it, but I now think it only applies to an extreme minority of girls. Thai girls, like any girls, simply prefer the best male they can get. In Thailand, that is most often an Asian guy, considering the kinds of farang Thailand gets swamped with. This is true in the whore world as well as the regular girl world. The Thai whore is not magically suddenly not a woman – she will try to get the best male she can get, even when whoring. It is instinct. She WILL be selective, and if she is pretty, she CAN be.

A few words about the "naughty scene", because it is highly illustrative of my central point, that status is king in Thailand, and is far more important than being "nice". Go into a Nana go-go and the atmosphere will in important ways resemble any normal club or bar. The girls are choosy. They won't go with just anyone. The hotter ones have serious attitude. The reason this happens is simple and obvious. Girls in a normal club are choosy because they can be. The hot ones get solicited by tons of guys. Girls in the whore world are choosy for the same reason. The hot ones get hit on by tons of guys. Simple marketplace rules of supply and demand.

So you go to Thermae, and what do you see? The prettiest girls there can be pretty selective about who they go with. They don't have to settle. I HAVE seen older, creepier, or just plain dumpier Japanese get rejected – all the time – by the prettier whores. Sit around for a while and observe, and you'll see what I mean. I also see lots of Japanese guys too afraid to approach the prettier ones and often lamely end up with the ugly ones who do approach them (sound familiar, farangs?)

So the pretty girls will prefer an attractive male if they can get one. And what equals attractive to a girl? Looks are part of it, but attitude and carriage that convey status and value are far more important. Girls can't help how they are built, just as we men cannot. A girl doesn't suddenly disconnect from her biological instincts just because she chooses to whore a bit. She will try to obey her innate biological instincts about which male to mate with as much as possible even while whoring.

Back when I was a "beta male" with no confidence, I would go to Thermae and rarely get looked at. Naturally, I assumed it was because I was a farang. After all, it's a comforting thought in a way – oh, it isn't my own inadequacies, it's just that they're racist. Plus you hear that meme parroted around the Thai message boards all the time. But that was before I stopped giving a shit and stopped smiling.

Returning to the Thermae having shed my beta male aura I got lots of attention from the prettiest girls there. Of course SOME girls still won't go with me, or only with lots of effort (not worth it) at Thermae, but I would put the number at probably less than 5%, possibly much less,, and not necessarily the prettier ones. This whole Asian preference thing, while yes, it exists, is FAR less serious than many people assume. MOST of the time a Thai girl will prefer a farang guy who is confident, self-assured, decent looking, and who exudes high status to an Asian guy with even slightly lesser qualities.

I can honestly say I regularly pull the hotties that are supposedly only interested in Asian guys, and more, I often pull girls away FROM Asian guys. I have gotten girls who already had Asian guys talking to them, and who had even bought them drinks. I didn't buy them any drinks. I'm not particularly good looking, either, and I certainly am not "nice". Yes, I am young (under 30) , fit, and decent looking, but definitely nothing special.



It's surreal. I had honestly believed that any Thai girl who CAN get an Asian guy will prefer him – nothing could be further from the truth! Don't believe it! It is a consoling myth that will only help you make excuses for your own shortcomings, shortcomings you should be working on eliminating.

Many think the whore world should be different, that with whores your ability to score with girls shouldn't matter, that it's "all about money". How many times have I heard that tired line, that with whores it's all about money, repeated like a consoling mantra by a man who has just had his offer of money rejected by a cute whore? How nice to believe you just didn't offer enough money. How shocked you would be to learn that she later that night accepted a guy for the exact same amount of money, or even less. The complicated truth is that in Thailand it isn't just about money. Thai whores – the hot ones – can be just as choosy as regular girls in a club or bar, possibly even MORE so, for complex reasons. I've seen Thai whores refuse money from men who they didn't like or thought were unworthy of them, time and time again, even when these men seemed entirely unobjectionable to me. Seems irrational, but whores are governed by emotion too. A lot of people have a really hard time wrapping their mind around the idea that a whore who is supposed to care "only about money" will actually reject completely unobjectionable men in order to satisfy her innate biological drive to mate with a man who is on some level worthy of her, who can convey high status. People underestimate the power of pride, and whores have pride too. Men underestimate the power of emotion and the pull of status in a woman's choices. And whores are women before they are whores. It's superficially paradoxical but obvious when you think about it for a moment, a whore has even more status anxiety than a normal girl, so her decisions on which guy to get with will take status into account even more.

I would advise any guy who is still young (under 35) to forget about whores and go for normal girls, because you will get the EXACT SAME quality of girl, just you won't pay for it! If you think whoring will allow you to get hotter girls than you could get at a normal disco, think again. It isn't true. If you're the sort of guy who can only attract ugly girls, guess what? The ugly girls in Nana (or anywhere) are the only girls who will AGREE to go with you. Yes, the pretty whores will REJECT you. If you went to a normal bar or club in Bangkok, the SAME level of ugly girl will throw themselves at you, and they won't ask for money. Getting ugly girls in Thailand is easy as pie in ANY venue – it is NO easier in Nana than in RCA. Getting hot girls in Thailand is equally difficult any venue you go to – it is NO easier, possibly harder, in Nana than RCA.

This is the counterintuitive truth that few people tell you about Thailand. In Thailand the whore scene is massively skewed in favor of the girl, not the punter. She has the best of both worlds. She gets to be selective, which every girl wants to be. She gets to satisfy her womanly instincts to select men. AND she gets paid money! What does the guy get? He has to pay money, which he doesn't at a regular venue, AND he still can get rejected, AND he will end up with the exact same quality of girl he could have gotten at a normal venue.

It's a fool game – don't play it!

Everything I am saying here applies to the regular Thai girl world even MORE than the Thai whore world. I discussed whoring at such length only to show how EVEN in this world, where you would least expect it, status and behaviors that convey status (acting non-needy, non-approval seeking, etc) counts for as much if not more than money. The whore world is an extremely useful reminder that in Thailand, there is no escaping the status game. And not just in Thailand, anywhere in the world. That's the dirty little secret of life.

Things against us –

1) Farang guys have acquired the reputation of liking ugly girls. Of all the things going against us, this is perhaps the worst. It is almost impossible to overstate how much this hurts the collective status of Farang guys in the eyes of Thai women. Women are status whores. They want guys who have high status and who can attract beautiful women. Any woman, in any country, who sees a man with an ugly, low quality woman, will immediately lose interest in him and think she can do better. Conversely, any woman who sees a guy with a hot girl, will immediately feel attracted to him.

The reasons why most farang guys in Thailand go for ugly girls, and have been for the past 30 years, are obvious. Most farang guys in Thailand are generally losers with the opposite sex. That's at least part of the reason they are in Thailand at all. They are just happy to get anything.

Unfortunately we cannot undo the damage of the past 30 years by ourselves alone, and plane loads of sexual failures from the West will continue to arrive in Bangkok, but we can take some small steps to distinguish ourselves from the pack.



I always tell my friends when we go out, ugly Thai girls will try and latch on to us. It is crucial that you ignore them and show absolutely no interest in them whatsoever. Even mild flirting with them will destroy you in the eyes of a hot Thai girl who is already suspicious of the your status because you are a farang. Nor should you ever compliment a Thai girl on her looks until much, much later in the relationship – don't be one of those loser farang guys – I see it all the time – who gush and fawn and tell these Thai girls they are "beautiful". There is no surer way to make her lose respect for you! There is no better way to tell her that you are one of those farang guys who come to Thailand because he can't hack it with the girls of his own country! Believe me, Thais aren't as clueless about what goes on as you think. Once you are in a secure relationship, compliments are okay, but never in the courtship process. Nor should you be too enthusiastic when approaching a Thai girl – play it cool, a bit aloof. All this stuff works with Western women as well, they just apply with double force in Thailand because of the peculiarities of the Thai-farang dynamic here.

Women like to be validated by a mans choice in her. They like to see it as proof of their beauty. When a farang chooses a hot Thai girl, she doesn't feel validated, she feels confused, because everyone knows farang like ugly girls. She might even doubt her beauty. Probably not, if she is really hot, but she'll definitely be puzzled. Whenever I end up with a hot Thai girl she almost always asks me, in a puzzled way, why I chose her, as if it violated some well-known law of nature. I refer to it as "The Conversation" with a big C, becomes it occurs with such predictable regularity.

I hate when I'm with a white skinned Thai girl who is cute and she starts talking about how everyone knows farang like ugly girls and why did I choose her. It's her subtle way of trying to establish her superiority to you. Your duty as a man is to not take that shit and to immediately set her right. I certainly don't tell her she's beautiful or that *I* am different, etc, etc – I make no effort to justify myself to her, as that would be demonstrating that I am buying into her idea that she has higher value than me, and that is a huge turn off for women.


Whenever a Thai girl tells me farang like ugly girls, I say, no most farang are not interested in Thai girls or Asian girls at all (which is the truth). She will look puzzled as this goes against what she's been hearing for a while now, living as she does in the Thaiverse, which is cut off from the rest of the world. She will then ask me why. I will respond, again with the truth, that sadly, Thai girls are perceived as "dirty" by most farang, and that most farang men perceive Asian faces as unattractive (again the truth, as polls have shown). I will then gently explain to her that farang men who are "crazy" over Thai girls are the sorts who cannot get hot white girls. She will frown in puzzlement and slight anger, and I will sympathetically commiserate with her at the injustice of Thai girls having a reputation for being "dirty" around the world. But I have accomplished my fell purpose. She's been knocked down a peg just as she was trying to position herself as the one with the higher value, and she's been hit in one area where many Thais are genuinely insecure, their facial features, and I have done nothing but gently introduce her to a truth that she has been sheltered from while living in the Thaiverse. Result: her attraction for me rises as her perception of my status and "value' rises.

Sounds pretty cynical, but I didn't invent women, so don't blame me. Women are status whores. One more reason not to have any exaggerated respect for women. Shed your illusions. Women are brutal to men they don't respect.

2) If you read any evolutionary psychology at all, you know men like hot bodies and faces, women like men with high status. Looks are important, but are secondary to almost all women. It is also a well documented fact that men's status is context dependent, and a mans ability to communicate his high status is highly context dependent. Many Thai girls have a really hard time "deciphering" Farang. We simply cannot convey – nor do we actually possess – the high status that a rich Thai guy has in his own society. Status is context dependent. We lose a lot of it when we leave our home context.

3) We have acquired the reputation of being "beta males" – This is the main point of this article. This is also the ONE thing we can do a huge amount to CHANGE! I have already said everything I can about this in the main body of this article, so I won't say more.

What I will say is that considering everything we have going against us, it is astonishing, simply astonishing, there is no other word for it, how many high quality Thai girls are willing to be with farang. And I mean genuinely pretty girls, not the usual trash you see hanging from the arm of the typical farang.

Things we have going for us

1) We're rich. Girls like rich guys. 'Nough said.

2) We come from the most powerful countries in the world. This goes some way towards raising our status. And Hollywood portrays images of farang men who are not wimpy and "beta", so this helps too.

3) Caucasian facial features are idolized across Asia and are synonymous with high status in much of Asia. Even though looks are of secondary importance to women, and status counts for much more, Thai women continue to be fascinated and drawn to Caucasian facial features, and a farang guy who is decent looking and can convey high value through his behavior and deportment will do very well indeed.


Well I think that is enough for this submission. I apologize for the post not having a better and more natural "flow", but I jotted down my thoughts as they occurred and didn't organize them as well as I might have. I like to think that in this submission I dissected the problem, in the next one I will offer tips for how to behave, specifically, to do better socially in Thailand, and really, anywhere. Au revoir.

Thai Dating, Singles and Personals

Stickman's thoughts:

I agree with a lot of what you say and make heaps of really good points, challenging the conventional wisdom…but I do not agree with all you say!

In a way it's a real shame you didn't talk more about where you're meeting these women. I don't think references to women at the Thermae help support the argument too much. Trust me, offer a woman there enough $$ – and I am not talking obscene amounts here – and she will go with *anyone*!

Where I strongly disagree with you is when you say that being nice and polite isn't recommended. Actually, it does work well! Believe me, it really does! And many decent Thai women are be interested in men with that approach. Confidence is important, of course, but playing the hard ass and not smiling will put MANY decent Thai women off. This is why I would like to know just where these women you're meeting are.

I think some women go through a phase where the approach you suggest works as a means….of getting laid. But to meet decent Thai women aged mid to late 20s up for a relationship I have real doubts.

One of the main points you make here that I strongly agree with is that foreigners who settle in Thailand, like it or not, are not always the best of the litter…