My First Trip to LOS Part 2 (Samui)

I arrived late afternoon at the new airport and Ian and Nikki were there to meet me as promised. We threw my gear in the back of the rusty old Nissan pick up, and headed for their place about 10 minutes drive away.

Ian and I had first met over 20 years ago when we served together in the army. He was (is) a jack the lad cockney and I was a northerner. We met several times after leaving the services as we both ended up in the pub trade. Despite our different backgrounds, we always got on well, and they were genuinely pleased to welcome an old mate.

We sat on the veranda and ran down his stock of cold beers as we caught up and gossiped. They clearly enjoyed the expat lifestyle and were thriving on it, having settled here six years ago. They did not complain though, when I produced a big box of Tetley tea bags and two large jars of marmite.

About 8 PM, after a shower and change, we headed to their favourite restaurant, just off the northern end of Chaweng Beach Road.

We were greeted like royalty. The place had only opened a few months earlier and was clearly popular with tourists and locals. I could get use to this.

The next day after a tour of the local sights, big Buddha, elephants, waterfalls etc, it was time for a trip downtown.

Since my trip up north had been more of an educational visit, I was now content to play the role of sex tourist, and slake my thirst for female company. It was now January 2009 and my last intimate contact with a woman had been just over two years previously, just before a rather painful divorce, which had left me a bit deflated to say the least.

So, it was off to Soi Green Mango and the surrounding streets. Could not help but admire some of the ladyboy peacocks on display on the main street, advertising one of two different ladyboy cabarets.

We walked down as far as O’Neill’s bar and Ian steered me into a seat at the bar and ordered beers. Almost before my arse hit the barstool I had a hand on my leg and I was being introduced to my first bar girl. She was short with a small cute mouth and nose, and big eyes, with that orangey blonde hair that Thai girls get when trying to westernise their dark locks. Her name was Um and regulars will know that it took all of 20 seconds for her to establish who I was, how long I was here, and where I was from. Hell I don’t care if some will feel that I was being hauled in. After two long years of abstinence, it was all I could do to stop myself doing it right there and then. There were plenty of others in the open sided bar, and only a few as cute as Um so I was quietly satisfied with my (her) choice. After thrashing me several times at connect 4 and lots of good natured playful fun and games, Um got the third degree from me. I reckoned 3 drinks was enough time to get to know each other, before we ‘got to know each other’ so to speak, but this was a seasoned bar girl we are talking about and I am a beginner. So after 2 more drinks each, we agreed terms and I bar fined her and we left. Where to, I’m thinking? But no worries, Um has got it all under control. I asked Ian about where I might find a suitable hammock and he winks and says. ‘Don’t worry mate she’s got her own wheels’.

Within 5 minutes I am on the back of Um's motorbike and back at her place. (I’m beginning to get the distinct impression that this evening is not entirely spontaneous.) The accommodation is a bit primitive but clean and tidy. How do they cram so much living area into such tiny plots? The walls are nothing more than marine ply raised on stilts and a bamboo base, and there is no hot water, but she has a TV and a CD player and a decent sized bed.

Anyway, after an enjoyable but cold, communal shower, we enjoy a night of unbridled lust, followed by several hours kip. After all my exertions I am surprised to find that not only is Um ready to roll again, but so am I. I am slightly embarrassed by my lack of expertise with a condom having never used one before, but there is no shortage of knowledge on Um's side. A true professional.

Over the next seven days I am like a dog with two dicks, as I let rip many months of western frustration on the ladies of Chaweng. Five women enjoy my company and of those, one woman in particular takes a shine to me. The lovely Bee is always delighted to see me and the feeling is mutual. We spend our first night in a local hotel, and the next at her place. She is sexy in a bar girl sort of way, and we enjoy very good ‘relations’. My mate Ian takes me to one side when he meets Bee for the first time. ‘You do know she is a katoey?’

Yes, I said. I did not realise straight away but when we made love the first time, I knew, and she came clean. It was one of those experiences that you never forget. She was post chop op, and at 5’4” and very feminine, was a good 4 inches shorter than me, and sexy as hell, with none of the exaggerated movements normally associated with these (girls)? Ian as usual was great company, and delighted in showing the bar girls card tricks and something with two straws, which I still can’t figure out to this day.

We had a great time and I congratulated myself on my taste in women????

I was in butterfly mode though, and I wanted to soak up all the different options available. Through Chaweng, The Reggae bar by the lake, and other outlets, I made a good fist of it with my disgraceful farang behaviour. I am constantly amazed and surprised at the lengths these girls go to in order to maintain a clean and healthy sex life. (Always shower before and after, and always use a condom).

It is clearly important to them, (and us) that we all enjoy healthy sexual relations.

My experiences on Samui had been entirely self indulgent and I took full advantage of the situation I found myself in. (I was now a sex tourist, and unbeknown to me at the time, about to become a sexpat.

What happened next, took me by surprise, and knocked me on my arse. (See part 3).