Stickman Readers' Submissions March 23rd, 2009

25 Girls In 28 days

I‘m a typical, middle aged, male western tourist, above average looking, who recently spent a month in Bangkok and Pattaya. As a first timer to Thailand, and, for the benefit of others, I thought I’d write down some reflections on my experiences, with some comparisons with other places in Asia, including Jakarta and Bali. I slept with about 25 girls in 28 days. Here are some reflections:

· Not one of the 25, good looking girls in Thailand I slept with said she had a boyfriend or husband (an obvious lie).

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· In general, the ‘lying’ in Thailand is more sophisticated than in Bali or Jakarta. Basically, you don’t trust anything the girls say or do.

· Prices ranged from 1000 baht for a long time (freelancer at a disco at 4 AM) to 2000 baht for short time at the more expensive go go bars. You can get a girl off the street in Bangkok for 1000 baht or less, and in Pattaya for 500 baht.

· You can arrange to pick up a girl after a bar has closed to avoid a bar fine, but you need to be discrete about it, and it’s easier if the girl really likes you.

· ‘Accidents’ amongst the girl’s associates in Thailand are common – one ‘brother’ fell off a balcony, another lost $10,000 from a credit card wrongly transferred/missing. These are nearly always lies to get money off you.

· I thought the oil massage with sex to be the best, although the girl must have big tits, and know how to seduce.

· I thought the ‘soapy massage’ is a bit over-rated (it’s basically just a wash, at the end of the day). I preferred an oil massage with firm big titties.

· Drinks are always required when one walks into the bars etc; rarely if it’s really crowded nobody notices you come in and you can just sit down. Always ask for the ‘total’ bill straight away to avoid nasty surprises. As in Eastern Europe, make sure you read the fine print on the menu (especially if the place looks upmarket) before you have a drink, although in Asia those exorbitant ‘hidden charges’ are rare.

· In my opinion, gogo bars are over-rated: expensive drinks, pushy waiters, tips (one average looking waitress asked me 3 times in 20 minutes for a drink for doing nothing, and was rather pushy about it), high bar fines (sometimes 1000 baht); the only real advantage is you can really see what you get, and you can complain later, but the girls are usually twice as much as on the street with no real benefits; in general the gogo bars are too mechanical, like going to a brothel in a western country and seeing 8 girls for 4 seconds each time and the supervisor wondering why you don’t chose one.

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· Getting ‘long time’ is actually quite hard at gogo bars for a reasonable price – girls just want to go home or back to the bar, and there is no guarantee of morning sex either.

· In my opinion, disco freelancers are very good value; you aren’t ‘pushed’ into going home, you don’t have to pick a girl at all, there is no incessant push for, no commission, and it feels more authentic. Also, the girls dress nicely. The only problem, of course, is that the best looking girls are usually taken quickly, and are harder to chat up than a gogo bar.

· I’m not really a fan of full naked gogo bars, I prefer a girl wearing sexy clothes; it is just too mechanical for me, I reckon the best sex is where one is seduced, with subtlety. I’m not a fan of going into a brothel, picking a girl, undressing, getting it off and going home in 15 minutes, which is why I didn’t really like Amsterdam. In Amsterdam you barely even get to say hello. It's clothes off, suck, fuck, come and go. Like screwing a robot.

· Most girls in the bars let you feel them up, if they don’t I wouldn’t bother about the girl. In darker, smaller bars, you can get away with quite a bit before you even take them home.

· BJ (blowjob) bars are pretty good, at least the first few times. There are at least two in Patpong (Star of Light and Kangaroo Bar), a couple in Soi Cowboy, and streets of them in Pattaya. Darker rooms means the girls don’t have to be stunners. I wouldn’t advise kissing them though, they usually aren’t stunners anyway. Full on sex in bars ain’t bad either, the girls can be very discrete about it. I’m sure in some BJ bars the girls aren’t 20, more like 16 or 17.

· Dark discos can be dangerous as that is where the katoeys hide. Tonis in Pattaya is so dark you can barely see a thing – that is why many of the girls there are also very average looking.

· Why is Diet Coke almost the same price as a whisky and coke?

· The ‘Issan Special Service Provider’ fantasy is also my all time, favourite fantasy. When I pick up an Issan girl, I like to imagine I am living in a small town for years in a big house with a rice field, with willing single girls coming to your room at night or as the sun goes down, always there and always available, with no sleepless nights without sex, willing girls who suck slowly slowly and fuck, whenever u want, no questions asked, for years and years, as if it’s part of their culture. A kind of rich man’s Playboy Mansion experience with many willing concubines. There is something incredibly erotic about it. For some reason the darker skin and dark hair works seems to work best with this fantasy. Try it.

· A really pretty face is over-rated, in my opinion. It has taken me about 40 years to figure this out, but I prefer the ok-to-good face, not ugly- but not stunning either, but with the great body. A very pretty face but without a good body or a strong libido is a complete waste of time, a good body with a strong libido and just an ok face tends to be the best because you don’t have to fight all the other guys off, and in a dark room it doesn’t matter anyway. It’s what in the swimsuit, and how they use it, that counts. I also like the girls who aren’t stunning in the face but are good at hiding their great bodies, that way guys don’t chase them everywhere, but once you have them in the bedroom…they are so much more and better than you thought…

· The more good-looking ‘hi-so’ (higher society) girls you pick up in expensive places and 5 star hotels can have strong libidos and great bodies, but unless you are rich you can’t keep them. They are good for socialising and sex, but can be demanding and flighty.

· Sex from a girl off the street can really work, but is a little riskier, in terms of satisfaction, theft, drugs etc. Hide/keep in sight your valuables at all times, and don’t take any drink/food from them. I picked up a short one off Sukhumvit with nice titties and round arse and had great sex using my fantasy of the ‘Issan special service provider’ (see above). She was very sweet, about 20, erotic, curvy, very submissive, seductive, basically the works; it shows it can work.

· It can be a good idea to go ‘short time’ until you know you like the girl, and then change it in the bedroom, that way you get a bit more time to get to know the girl, although gogo bars want them back, therefore this works best with girls off the street; usually the girls will be happy to have somewhere nice to stay for the night, if you haven’t drunk too much you might well get sex in the morning as well.

· The sex is a little cheaper and the quality of the girls a little higher in Thailand than either Bali or Jakarta, but this is of course a generalisation – the best and cheapest sex I ever had was with a Balinese girl. There is a very high percentage of good looking women available in Thailand – more than anywhere in the world, even Brazil, for the price.

· Another tip – if a girl can dance well she is nearly always good in bed, in fact I often use this to make the decision to take her home – crude – but it is surprising how good a guide it is.

· Genuine, firm big titties are desired by just about every male, but the bustier-looking girls can be somewhat risky. For one thing, once the clothes are off, they tend to sag in every culture in the world. I once heard that an Asian girl’s performance in bed is indirectly proportional to the size of their tits, and this seems to often ring true – but of course, not always. The other really annoying thing is that many of the ones with obvious implants in Thailand aren’t ‘girls’ at all-there is a reverse natural selection here-if the girls have enough money to get breast implants then they don’t usually work in the bars; many of the ones with breast implants working in the bars are therefore there for a different reason i.e. they are ladyboys. If you find a reasonably good looking girl (not a guy) with firm big titties, even silicone, and a thin waist, and good sex, you should try to keep them, they are comparatively rare in Asia, believe me. After about 100 girls throughout Asia, and a fair amount of chest-looking, I’ve only had a handful (excuse the pun) who actually fit this description. There are plenty of pretty faces, tight bums and thin waists, but with firm, big tits – it’s a relative rarity. If you are like me and love firm big titties (especially the oily rub in the dark), find a long-term, thin waisted one and just buy them silicone! Titties can also be very useful during that time of the month.

· Really tight bums are moderately rare. You can usually tell by touching them up at a disco etc. I have found a few really tight buns, and they are sensational. They come when you least expect it – they don’t look all that different to other small-waisted girls, you really need to touch them up to tell. If you find one, you should take them for a test run. They usually know they have really firm buns, and they use them really well.

· Every girl I have ever had in Asia except one would give me a BJ to start off (if I wanted it). Some are of course better than others, and some will only do it with a condom, which is fine by me – leave that up to them. It’s very rare to get them to swallow outside of the BJ bars, but I have had it with one or two. But I prefer to come inside them anyway so it’s no issue.

· Sex is never any good when you can sense the girl doesn’t want to do something (e.g. like a BJ or just having sex), so there is never any point in trying to ‘con’ them into doing something. If they like it, they will do a much better job. If they don’t want to do something, accept it, or get someone else.

· I have had a few girls in Asia ask me to give them anal, including two who were stunners, but I'm just not interested. I asked one of them why she wanted it, and she said because I wasn’t too big or too small – just right.

· It can be hard to get Asian girl doubles to kiss each other and really get into lesbian sex, but it does happen. Try the smaller bars, or just ask them at the pick up joint. Some will, some won’t.

· I don’t understand why some guys send money to girls from overseas. Has the word gullible come to mind? If you really like the girl, take them back home, rather than send them money. If they really like you, they will follow you, or they will wait until you can get a visa for them etc. If they won’t wait for the visa without you sending them money, then they aren’t worth it anyway. If you can’t afford to take them home, or can’t get a visa, then YOU are not worth it to them. Do the math. There is no reason to send money to a girl from overseas.

· If you want a relationship, try the upmarket discos, with the better dressed girls, although you will need some resources or money to be able to keep these ones.

· Over a month, total expenses came to around $6000 US (not including flights). I stayed in cheap hotels.

Stickman's thoughts:

Sounds like you enjoyed yourself.

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