Readers' Submissions

Are We Misfits or Trendsetters

  • Written by Beerman
  • September 11th, 2008
  • 5 min read


I find myself in two minds.

I feel I have found the promised land. I have found the love of my life and she is Thai. We met in Farangland but now I am engrossing myself in all things Thai.

The Thai fever caught me before I met her, almost by mistake (as detailed in my submission “A New Adventure”) but now I find myself learning the language, trying to interpret the average Thai’s thoughts, buying book after book about the country and its people impulsively trying to broaden my ability to become a part of it all. Deep down I know I never really will fit in and that’s where the schizophrenia becomes apparent.

Who am I? Why do I want to have such a strong connection to Thailand? In honesty I am a happy and lucky person. I am proud of where I’m from. I’ve never been short of anything but a little maturity at times. I am relatively young, self financed, no need to do anything but find my happiness. I read Stick's weekly articles and submissions from his readers and find myself very much in tune with what is happening here.

There are a bunch of us who for some reason are not happy with our own. Just mention “farang women” and there’s an instant understanding. No words need to be said because it’s so deeply and unmistakably understood what we are thinking about our own women. Stick's readership is growing because he has found a nerve where such expression has previously been untapped.

For some the fascination that is Thailand is old news. They are still here as seasoned veterans where Farangland is a distant memory. For whatever reasons the teen born promise of a happy life with a wife and two kids did not pan out and after the realization and sometimes devastating circumstances Thailand answered their longing… and their numbers are growing. There are twenty something’s finding in Thailand what they cannot find at home. Fair enough for the old bugger who is no longer at his peak getting all bug-eyed about those 20 year old Isaan darlings but for those in the prime of their lives not happy with their own kind? What is wrong? …Or… what have they discovered!

Those farang women we talk about are our mums, sisters… You don’t need me to expand here. What has made us lose affinity with them as life mates? Do we have a problem? Or have we found something better?

When you read a lot of our submissions you will find that some Thai chicks can be horrid. In Thailand there is a lacking in the value of honesty (I speak generally). It means less here and I think it goes back to survival instincts; the less someone knows about you the less they can hurt you. <Excellent point this and VERY valid in ThailandStick> Remember, Thailand has no social security net and often there is a hairline between surviving and being in a very bad way and people will do what they can to keep across the line: lie, cheat…beg!! They are born into a different mindset to us and they will, at least for some time, always be fundamentally different to us. But then there’s that CHARM that farang girls cannot (or don’t want to) harness. We’re sucked in.

Are we misfits? Sometimes I believe so. There are many very successful, talented men back home totally happy with their farang girl. Ahh…but they don’t know about Thai girls you say! Then what would you tell them? Thai girls are truthful? Love us unconditionally? Are great mothers? Are loyal? What DO you tell your mates in Farangland about Thai girls? Why do we feel the way we do about our women? Do they hurt us so much or are we just too bloody vulnerable because we are out of the loop?

Are we trendsetters? I also believe there’s going to be more of us. The fascination with these creatures so exotic and beautiful is alluring and insatiable. Even though our Thai darlings can come up with the most unexplainable antics we just say “This is Thailand” and melt at the next cute smile they throw at us. There are growing numbers of farang despondents that need their dreams fulfilled and the Thai woman offers something. And something is better than nothing. Vindictively I secretly wish that all guys would leave Farangland, get a Thai girl, then all those farang girls will suddenly say “Shit! did we stuff up?” What a dream. Maybe that makes ME a misfit.

I know what I love about my Thai girl is that she will not nag or judge. My life is now very peaceful and I really do feel like I can move on now with a partner that will not restrict or complicate it. Sometimes our cultural and lingual differences make some conversations too difficult and I know some blokes would miss that but as Billy Joel once said “I don’t want clever conversation, I never want to work that hard”. Me too.

One thing Thai girls GET that Farang girls don’t: Men are simple creatures… look after our basic needs and you will always have us on a string. Thai girls don’t use sex as a negotiating tool, they feed us when we are hungry and cuddle us when we sleep.. I don’t know about you but once those three things are no longer a concern to me I can then take on the world!!

Beerman

Stickman's thoughts:

There is so much sense in this submission, so much sense.