Stickman Readers' Submissions September 10th, 2008

My First Trip

I first vacationed in Thailand in 2006. On my second night my third lady in Pattaya asked me to marry her (I accepted her proposal). I got sucked into the tragicomedy that you and others have written about.

Prior to this vacation and even my second vacation there I had not yet read your column. In my defence I must say that being from Texas, having a woman you've just spent a few days with in the biblical way propose to you or at least assume marriage
is in the offing is not outside the pale of our cultural thinking anymore than divorce, once you grow into a state of unhappiness. Family helping family is another value in Texas as well. "Helping" is the key word here though. Supporting
monthly on top of a dowry is just ludicrous.

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The young lady was 22 years old (I was 39) and was a farm girl from Sa Keow, Lao ethnicity and very frustrating once her proposal was accepted.

One morning after making love she became angry (I sometimes have a cavalier attitude) and said "I'm a lady boy" to which I responded "then how come you get wet down there".

She spat back "I have HIV".

The next day I took us both to the hospital behind Second Road. We both had STD tests and I went ahead and got a complete physical and was amazed at the cost and efficiency of the hospital. The next day after we got the results my girl had an interview
with a cosmetic surgeon about the removal of a growth on her cornea. I was watching through the plate glass window while having a smoke and saw her recoil when the lady doctor explained the use of a laser to her. Saved me money for something the
doc told me would just grow back anyway.

As the days passed she got stingy with sex and claimed she had her period. One night I got so frustrated I walked from Soi 3 on Second Road near Big C down to Beach Road, on to Walking Street, all the way to Jomtien Beach and back all the
while pissed at the thought that this was supposed to be a vacation.

The next night we had a balloon popping, engagement celebration at the bar complete with a complimentary dinner.

The next day I took her with me to my third and final outing at Laem Chabang Golf Course (an OUTSTANDING course). At the end of the day I didn't know if she was crying because she thought my last 2 outings there without her was me sneaking
off for a short time or the $100 I was spending for 4.5 hours of entertainment each time I went there.

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The next day I left for Bangkok and if she had looked in my unsecured bag she would have known I was not going straight to the airport as I was claiming. That night I had a Pegasus experience and while ridiculously priced I think everyone
should do it once. The place looks, feels and acts like a brothel should. The girl I BF'ed from there was 20 years old, spoke good English and her favorite movie was Harry Potter. This information was after our 1st coupling and I was a little
chagrined. That sums up my 1st trip to Thailand. I was out the cost of a diamond engagement ring, a 22 carat gold bracelet and necklace and I sponsored my Pattaya bargirl for 4 months. 2 months later I heard her Thai boyfriend ask her "who
are speaking English to(?)" during a phone conversation. She also wanted the equivalent of $25,000 for building a house for her parents. When I told her no, she said forget about the marriage and she would never call or email me again. She
emailed me once after that and then she kept her word.

I returned to LOS in 2007 and spent a week in Bangkok with an escort contracted for 24/7. We had a good time mostly clubbing at trendy night spots and fine dining. The last night together she received a phone call while we were inside Hard
Rock Cafe. A little later she started crying and I told her "look, you know this isn't supposed to be forever, you're young and will have other boyfriends and experiences" to which she replied "my little brother was in
a motorcycle accident and I need to go to Udon Thani". We went back to the hotel and she collected her bags, got in a cab and left. It being only 10:30 PM, I called another agency and when this lady entered my room her first words was "How
long ago was the other girl here"? I told her the circumstances to which she replied "Oh, number 1 actress of the year", while clapping.

Next I was off to Pattaya and after running through about 4 unsatisfactory ladies I frequented an establishment endorsed by Mr. Stick. Three nights were spent with a very comely 40 year old Isaan lady who would say with pregnant emphasis
"Oh, you are thinking!"

I knew what this meant but the sex was good! Fortunately on the 3rd night she asked me to barfine a girlfriend as she was feeling down and a night with us might lift her spirits. At dinner it became apparent this was actually her way of flaunting
her catch to her friend rather than a therapeutic exercise. This lady spoke English well and was 34 years old. She turned us on to the Angelwitch gogo and all in all was just pleasant to be with. The next night I arranged a swap with the mamasan
before either arrived at the bar and while my now former girl was not happy I saved her face (maybe?) by giving her a night's wages and offering her to join me and my new girlfriend for our night on the town. She accepted the money and declined
the invitation.

The next 10 days and nights I spent with the new lady were wonderful. She knew all the entertaining places in Pattaya and I turned her on to shooting firearms at a range out by Sukhumvit Road. Parting with her at the end of my stay and never seeing her
again was necessary but not unburdening. I learned before reading your column that unless you stay or you can zip them back to the States fast (cannot be done under any circumstances, unlike with Koreans or Japanese) you're just opening heartache
and disappointment for yourself and the other party.

Thai women, be they from Bangkok or from Isaan are fantastic partners if you're from a background like Southwest Texas. I plan on returning to LOS before the close of 2008. I'll have my fun as I did in 2007. I am ready to marry
and I just have to marry a Thai woman. My town has at least 200 Thai people living here and they are mostly women and they all have or work in their own legitimate businesses (restaurants). I'll arrange a sponsorship through them and they
can give any prospective émigré bride an unadorned view what life they can expect in my area of the world.

Stickman's thoughts:

Good luck in your wife hunting….just look beyond Pattaya!

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