Stickman Readers' Submissions August 4th, 2008

My Fxxxed Up Story

This is going to be a long story and it still hurts as I'm writing it down. First I'd like to introduce myself.. I'm a 23 year old Dutch Scuba Instructor working around Asia. I've been living in Thailand for 3 years which is definitely
my favourite place to live. I'm in love with the country, the food, the people and the diving..

mens clinic bangkok

A couple of months ago I had to go to Bangkok to get my passport renewed. As I had to wait a few days for it I went to the Khao San Road for some drinking.. It was about 2 o'clock when I met Fon, sitting alone on a table. I asked if
I could join her and soon we were talking about travelling, the world, politics, everything. She said she was half-Singaporean and that she was a manager for a marketing company in Singapore specializing in medical equipment and in Bangkok for
business. At the beginning of the morning we parted and decided to meet up in a few hours to go away for the weekend.

Our trip to Kanchanaburi was great. We missed the last bus at Erawan National Park and hitch hiked with a tour bus full of Thai (karaoke singing) people. Fon has lived the first few years of her life in Thailand but she doesn't speak
any Thai, but as a half-blood everybody spoke Thai to her. I fell in love with the troubled face she made every time someone spoke to her and I loved the fact that I could rescue her by picking up the Thai (very basic) conversation.

On the romantic part of it, we shared a bed but we did not have sex. We kissed and fooled around on the last day but as I had no condoms with me that was the end of it.. Back in Bangkok again we did have sex though.

In Bangkok she lost her bag, including credit card, in a taxi.. I offered her some money but she wouldn't have it, so we decided that she could borrow the money instead!

Fon told me her story about a boyfriend who she had given everything up for who had cheated on her and that that changed her life.. She considered herself a playgirl and out to hurt men. Well, that was not really a big attraction to her but
I saw a growing affection towards me and I trusted my feeling that she can't be that bad..

As I have little money myself, I was leading a simple life in her eyes, but she was very interested in it. But her stories of her wealthy family with big education and big houses really intimidated me.. But I won't say that I didn't
feel a little more attracted to her because of it!

After I left Bangkok I went back to work. Fon joined me a few days later. And again we had a great time! This is where she told me that she wanted to be my girlfriend.. Later that day I got angry at her as she was flirting too much with someone
else! But it was the start of our relationship.

wonderland clinic

One night she got really upset and she told me the story that she was engaged to someone else and that she was no good for me.. Well that was a big shock, trust me! But my feelings for her had already grown and she could finish that other
relationship, right?

The things that happened afterwards is that she went back to Singapore and I went back to work again. I had to fly back to Holland for some family business just as she had to go to Bangkok for business again. We just missed each other though!

Back in Holland, we had some arguments over the phone about her family not liking the idea of me as a poor boy. Also her ex-fiancée was still on her mind and maybe it would just be better if we should finish. Things got even worse as
I received an SMS from a guy saying he's Fon's boyfriend and I should stay away.. She convinced me she just forgot her phone somewhere and some idiot decided to play around. By then I started to fall in love with her, so I trusted her.
She decided to run away, she quit her job in Singapore and bought a house in Phuket for us to live together. She also bought a partnership in one of the bars in Patong. (I really hated even the idea of that!)

After 3 weeks of Holland I was happy to be back on the plane again. I had a new job in Bali which I accepted a few weeks before I met Fon. She decided to join me over here in Bali, but just before she would fly here, her older brother, who
lives in Seattle, had a serious car accident. So she joined the rest of her family over there.

In Seattle she saw her ex-fiancée again, who is a friend of the family, and they had sex one night. My heart was broken but as I slept with her while they were still together, it felt like karma.. I went crazy and it hurt me a lot but
I didn't want to let go of her just yet.

Her brother's condition got even worse so I got in contact with another brother of hers, through SMS and email, about me coming over to America to join the family. He would arrange the ticket for me as he works for British Airways and
it's quite easy for him. I was also asked if I could send some money to the workers in Phuket that were building the house as they were almost finished but some workers needed the salary before going back to their home town so there was a
rush with it..

I was very busy myself but I got one of my colleagues to go to the bank for me to make the transfer.. I also told my boss in Bali that I wanted to quit my job at the end of the month to join my girlfriend's family. Everything went according
to plan and I was dreaming of being with my girlfriend again..

But then I received an email with the subject “The Truth About Your Girlfriend” from a person that claimed to work in an internet cafe in Bangkok. In the email I was warned that Fon was not the person who she claimed she was..
She was not a half-blood, she was a bar girl and still in Bangkok. Also that in her history she got hurt really badly by a boyfriend, who happened to be from Holland, so now she's out to hurt Dutch men!

Straight away I called my girlfriend and was expecting her to tell me that all of that was bullshit. She didn't answer her phone so I sent her an SMS and she SMSed back that all of it was true and that she was very sorry.. She sent me
an email later explaining everything.

Turned out she is a Thai bar girl. She was married to a Danish guy that left her when she was 2 months pregnant. After that she got really hurt by her Dutch boyfriend, and now she hated all men and especially Dutch men.. Her 5 year old son
has heart problems and that's where my money went. She had lived in Singapore before and has had an education in Australia (and left her Aussie boyfriend as she was finished). EVERYTHING she told me was a lie. The only thing that she did
mean is that she loved me..

She was out to hurt me right from the beginning.. But apparently as we got closer and closer she started to love me instead, but with the web of lies things were bound to end up badly. She has promised to give back my money next month.. <Don't count on it!

This is my story, the latest part only happened yesterday! I feel really hurt, betrayed and cheated. Of course when I look back on it, some lies were not waterproof, some things didn't seem to be in place, but I was blindly in love..
Our relationship was not perfect, I won't tell you that, but that everything ended up in a story?? She is a master of lies, that's for sure! I even have her brother's ID number from BA..

I'm happy to say that my boss has agreed to give me my job back again.. In October the high season in Bali will be finished and I'll make my way back to Thailand again!

Like I mentioned before, I live a simple life, the money in my bank is for emergencies only (now only 100 Euro on there) and nothing has changed in that account the last 2 years until I met Fon. I like to think that if I treat people with
respect I will get respect back in return.. Crazy isn't it, to just trust in the goodness of people?

I honest to God hope that she's not lying about sending me that money back! Not having the money could destroy me, as that could be the reason for me to have to go home again.. I cried like a baby last night and my heart will be scarred
but I will fight myself back to the top again!

Stickman's thoughts:

I hate to say it but there were a number of red flags that you either overlooked or simply didn't see. I am also very sorry to say that the odds of you seeing that many again are about as likely as a pink elephant waiing you outside your condo window. It's never nice to be like this but you're young and you will learn from it. Best wishes for the future.

nana plaza