Stickman Readers' Submissions October 31st, 2007

The Bell Ringer

I’ll never forget the article Stickman wrote about never moving a Thai woman in to your apartment because of the problems you would have getting her out. I should have taken note.

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I have had a few dramas in my time in Bangkok. Recently I experienced the latest episode.

I had been seeing this particular Thai lady since late last year and she was keen on me. In fact she was a lot keener on me than I was on her. I liked her, enjoyed her company and liked to spend one night of the weekend with her, but that
was about it. It was never going to go anywhere and I knew it from the start. I tried to tactfully let her know that I had come out of a long-term relationship and didn't want anything too serious. She said that was ok, but deep down, I knew
she wanted more.

She soon declared her love for me and gradually spent more and more time at my place. I made the cardinal sin of giving her a key to my condo. Not just a key, but the keycard necessary to get past security. She could come and go as she pleased.
While security is good here they had seen her come and go with me numerous time so she wouldn't be challenged when entering the building.

I trusted her and I was not at all concerned with her pilfering anything from the apartment. She had a good job, earning 30,000 baht a month and she was, perhaps even still is, a respectable lady.

I don’t know why, but she fell in love with me. I never treated her particularly well, and I know that she had had farang boyfriends before me who had treated her very well, much better than I had, showering her with gifts, taking
her to fine restaurants and even taking her on holiday to neighbouring countries. I didn’t spend a lot of money on her, didn’t spend New Year with her, and while I treated her pleasantly and certainly didn’t mistreat or abuse
her, I just don’t see how she fell for me.

I am a pleasant natured guy, but not especially handsome, not rich and frankly, I can be a bit boring. I would rather stay home and watch the football than take her out somewhere on a Saturday night. I am quite happy doing my own thing and
am happy just to potter around the condo and pop out for a walk and a bit to eat from time to time. That’s who I am, that's my lifestyle and I was frank with her about it.

But she stuck by my side, sat on the sofa and watched the football with me, even when it was plainly obvious that it was boring her to tears. I would go out and meet my mates for a drink and tell her that she was not welcome. She would sit
and wait, almost like a puppy dog, for me to finish with my pals and return home. I didn’t cheat on her but like I say, I didn’t treat her like a princess either.

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She kept telling me that she loved me, to which I simply would not respond. Could I have been any more obvious without being rude or breaking her heart? I didn't say anything because it would only have led to tears and I'm not good
at dealing with sobbing women. Who is apart from the opportunist who seizes the chance to get into a vulnerable bird's knickers?

The first problem we had should have been the last. I came home one day and noticed that my laptop had been turned off. That’s strange because I never turn it off. I prefer to leave it in standby mode. There’ so much crap installed
on it that booting from scratch takes minutes. Leaving it in standby mode is so much faster.

And when I booted it up, I noticed that the battery was only at half-charge, a sure sign that something was amiss. I always run it with the mains plugged in, and given that the battery was at half-charge I could estimate that someone had
used it for about an hour.

Now my computer is sacrosanct. No-one is allowed to touch it, let alone use it. Notr my friends and especially not my girlfriend. No-one! Yet someone had used it for about an hour.

There was only one person it could have been.

I didn’t say anything to her because I wanted her to come out and tell me and soon enough she blurted it out. On the fateful day I had left for work early and she was still sleeping, as was the case on one of the odd work days she
stayed over. She must have woken up soon afterwards and turned on the computer (there’s no password protection) and gone through various files, looking at whatever. There is nothing secret there but she was sneaky. She got online, opened
MSN Messenger and went through my chat history and read the transcripts of conversations I had had with various women. Thai women.

Now these conversations are clearly dated and while I was furious that she had accessed my computer, there was nothing incriminating there. But you know what Thai women are like! She got all upset that I had chatted with women after we had
met, even if the conversations were totally innocuous. Almost all of the women I had chatted with were old friends and there hadn't been any inappropriate comments made.

I pointed out to her that she was out of line and totally in the wrong to look at my computer and that she could no longer be trusted. I threw her out there and then. There was a little screaming on my part and a lot of crying on hers, but
the trust had been broken and frankly when that happens it's over.

Getting rid of her was not quite that easy. She sat there and pleaded with me to keep her and quite frankly made a real nuisance of herself. When I finally got the message through to her that she was history she slowly started packing her
stuff. I had no idea how much stuff she had brought to my place and in the end there was too much for her to carry in one trip. I helped her take what she had packed down to a taxi and she left about a large suitcase full of the usual female junk
at my place – and promised to come back and get it another day.

We remained in touch and it would be fair to say that we remained friends. But as boyfriend / girlfriend we were finished. We met up a couple of times for a meal and drinks and she expressed interest in us getting back together. But I was
adamant. We had finished. It was over.

But her remaining belongings were still at my place…

Fast forward a couple of months to today.

At 9 AM this morning I was in the middle of it with a young lass I had met on TLL when the doorbell rung.

Actually, I thought I had heard a sound before the bell ringing and I was right. It was the sound of a key in the door. I knew who that was. It could only be the ex. She is the only one with a key. Foolishly, I had failed to collect it from

The door into the condo has two separate locks and she only had a key for just one. So she opened one lock but could not open the other meaning she could not enter

Now I had every right to be enjoying the lovely who had chosen to spend the night with me, a slightly overweight but still sexy 22 year old university student. But this poor girl started freaking out. She went from horned up to petrified
in no time! She started accusing me of being married and said that a guy like me could not possibly be single (WTF?!) and wanted to know what I was going to do to get rid of my wife! Now I have got two nutcases on my hands!

I tried to explain to her that I was not married nor was I in a relationship. Too late, she didn't believe me. Damn!

This was not good and I was not happy. It was sort of like being caught shaking the last drops off at the urinal and being accused of something else!

I did not have many options so I thought I would sit it out for a while but my ex just kept on pushing the bell – and the bell makes quite a racket!

Next to me I had one girl freaking me out, clinging to me and refusing to let me go to the door and now I had my ex banging the door down.

What's a guy to do?

Well, the ex stopped and I figured she had gone, but then about 10 minutes later it continued. I creep out of the bedroom to the lounge and peak through the peeping hole but she hears the creak of the floorboards and now she starts screaming
at me to let her in! University girl is freaking out in my bed and I see in the mirror that she has crawled under the bed covers completely! What you can't see can't hurt you, right?!

What am I supposed to do now? The ex is like a woman possessed outside and I have a terrified girl inside. If the ex sees the new girl she is going to go even crazier, not that she has any right to.

I thought about calling security but frankly that wouldn't do my reputation any good. It doesn't matter that I had not done anything wrong. I would be remembered as someone who had troubles with multiple women and my reputation would be dirt.

I go to the door, tell the ex to go and wait downstairs in the lobby and say that I will bring her stuff down to her. I watch through the peep hole as she walks away and heads to the lift, making her way downstairs.

I go back into the bedroom, explain to the Uni girl that I have got to deal with this and that I will be back.

I get all of the ex’s stuff and throw it into a large bag. A few minutes later after collecting all of his things I push the bag to the door. Before I throw on some shoes I open the door.

At the very moment the door eases open it is pushed back towards me and my ex is on top of me screaming that I am in bed with her best friend. She is screaming like a witch and is driving towards me. I try to stop her but she catches me off
guard and pushes me back a metre as my feet slide (I was wearing socks) across the polished wooden floor.

So much for her going downstairs!

A scream lets out from the bedroom as Uni girl sees the ex and is now petrified!

I am bigger and stronger than the ex but she is slippery and it takes me a few seconds to grab her and get her under control. But she is still in the condo and I need to get her out. There is no telling what she might do! There are countless
fragile items and I have a horrible thought that she is going to try and trash the place.

I gain ascendancy and like the English scrum I push her back like she is a spineless Australian, just as we saw in the rugby world cup.

I force her back through the door and out into the corridor, my arms very tightly around her. We are now moving towards the lift and the bitch kicks me in the shin. A sharp pain is felt and I say just loud enough “kor tort kap”,
only half trying to get the security guard’s attention. The apartment pool is on the same level as my apartment and security has a desk there during daylight hours.

The ex froze as she realised that this could get messy – for her. She knew she had no right to be there and no right to the key. She also knew that she would get in trouble if I decided to push the issue and unlike most Thais in confrontation with
farangs, she backed down. Sensible.

But she was not happy at all. Her contorted face displayed rage, hatred and anger. She had heard the Uni girl and somehow got it in her mind that I was doing her best friend.

She grabbed the bag of her stuff and slowly started placing it into a suitcase she had brought with her.

After packing, but before leaving, she could not help herself but kick the condo door extremely hard and yell out that she was going to kill me. Charm of the Thai woman!

The mood was lost and Uni girl was out the door quick smart, leaving me to contemplate the morning’s events, hence this submission.

Sometimes I wonder if it is me. It doesn’t matter where I meet Thai women, they all seem to have major issues. Even if they have a good job and seem so sweet that butter wouldn’t melt in their mouth, give it time and when things
don’t go their way, they start throwing their toys out of the box.

I am far from the only one who experiences problems with Thai women. The more stories I read here, the clearer it becomes that most of us have troubled relationships with Thai women, irrespective of where we met them or what their background
is. In fact it has got so bad now that I have become suspicious of people who have a good relationships! Plenty of guys claim to be happy but when you get to know them more they start to admit that they fxxx around, and that their Mrs. is not
the princess they initially made her out to be. Their relationship is seriously troubled.

Or maybe it is we farangs who are a screwed up bunch?!

Stickman's thoughts:

And we hit 4,000 submissions! YEAH!

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