Stickman Readers' Submissions October 25th, 2007

Confession Of A Mechanic Part 3

When I was in Thailand on vacation in 1996 I took the tour of the river Kwai and the Death Railway, an excellent tour. It was on this tour that I met and came to know the tour guide, Miss Muk from Mukdahan. She was 41 years old, very attractive, well-dressed
and spoke good English. Since there was not enough seating at the tour lunch table I ended up at a small table with Miss Muk. She was very pleasant to talk to and gave me her business card with telephone number.

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Anyway on my remaining days of vacation we got together a few times. The more I got to know her the more things just did not seem to add up. She seemed to have a lot of trouble with the truth. She spoke good English but claimed to not have
spent much time at regular school which led me to suspect that in her younger days she may have attended Patpong or Nana Plaza Business school to further her education.

She also claimed to have a daughter attending university. I told her I would be back in town in nine months and in the meantime I would like to have her photo which I had her sign her name on the back. When you have doubts about a lady friend
a photo can be of great help to have her checked out…

Nine months later I sent her a card to let her know I would be in Bangkok on August 15th. She replied that that date would be perfect.

I actually arrived on August 1st, two weeks early and that gave me plenty time to check her out and see her reaction. On the third day in town I called her to say hello.

Right away she asked why I had come early. I told her the airline had a special sale.

I could tell by the tone of her voice she was not too happy that I had created a problem for her. I suspected it was going to be difficult for her to juggle things and take care of more than one farang at the same time.

I told her if she had a boyfriend it was not a problem for me. She swore I was the only one and that she would be over at 3.00 PM but could not stay very long.

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Miss Muk would use the motorcycle taxis. Where I was staying there are usually 6 to 8 motorcycle taxis and as luck would have it I found one who spoke English and hired him until 10 PM. I told him my plan.

I gave him Miss Muk's photo and told him that she was coming at 3.00 PM and when she came out of my apartment to be ready to take her where she wanted to go. <Ah, an amateur investigator here, coolStick>

Then report back to me.

She showed up on time but it was easy to see she was not exactly thrilled that I had come early. She told me she was going home to Mukdahan in two days (Friday) to visit her parents for four days. She also told me her daughter would have
to drop out of university due to lack of funds and asked if I could help out. I told her I was going to the bank the next day and if she gave me her bank account number I may make a deposit.

With a big smile she gave me the number.

It was about 5.00 PM she kept looking at her watch and acting nervous and said she had to go her daughter who would be home from school soon and she had to have supper ready.

Right away I knew this was a line of pure unadulterated bull sh!!! For lady readers I mean cow manure. I told her you sure are a great mother. As she left she said she would return tomorrow at 10.30 AM.

When she closed the door I rushed to the balcony to signal the motor driver she was on her way down. With a feeling of excitement I watched as she climbed on the seat and took off. Twenty minutes later my driver is at my door and tells me
she made a cell phone call to someone in English and he took her to the Federal Hotel in Soi 11.

That night I decided to eat supper at the Federal Hotel coffee shop. I had no expectations of seeing Miss Muk or anyone else I knew. The coffee shop has two large glass doors for entering from the street side. I opened the door to enter and
low and behold there is Miss Muk in the second to last booth with a bearded farang. She had her down reading the menu and did not see me but I closed the door real fast.

Right behind in the corner was a half booth I figured maybe I could get to that booth unseen from the hotel lobby side. When I opened the door from that side she was still looking at the menu and I slipped into the booth behind her unseen.
I was facing the same way as Miss Muk and was looking directly at her farang. Of course he did not know who I was. The booth did not have a high back but as luck would have it there was a newspaper rack next to me by the wall. The only newspaper
available was in Thai but I took it anyway just in case of an emergency. They had finished ordering and the waitress came to take my order. Since I was afraid Miss Muk may know my accented voice I just pointed to the item number on the menu and
then got my money out ready to pay as soon as my order arrived.

Miss Muk and Farang are waiting for their order. She is telling him about Mukdahan and suggests they visit after returning from Chiang Mai. Then she asks Mr. Farang what time their flight to Chiang Mai on Friday is? I watch Mr. Farang as
he pulls from his shirt pocket a paper schedule of some kind and starts reading to her" Thai Airways flight 002 Friday 12.30 PM and we will be staying at the Porn Ping Hotel."

I have a pen but no paper so I write the details on my hand. At this point I feel like a Priest listening to people telling the truth in a confession booth.

She is now asking Mr. Farang for coins to play the music jukebox. Man, this could be risky I put the newspaper up and my head down. It is when I hear the music start that I notice I have the newspaper upside down but I dare not turn it around,
luckily she does not notice and sits down again

The food is served and all goes well. When the waitress stops by to refill Miss Muk's water glass she is also blocking her view and that is when I slip out unseen.

When I get outside I start breathing normal again. Man, that was stressful, but the real fun begins when Miss Muk shows up tomorrow at 10.30 AM.

Next morning I am at the Bank of Bangkok and go upstairs to the new accounts section and talk to Miss Som. I tell her before I left the US two days ago I made a money transfer to my future wife's bank account and just want to know if
the transfer has been completed. At the same time I placed my passport, miscellaneous papers and a small gift wrapped bottle of perfume on her desk. She asked for Miss Muk's name and account number, turned on her computer and turned the monitor
around to show me no deposit was made in the last two days and pointed out the last deposit was for 24,000 baht almost a month ago. Then she did something totally unexpected. She hit the print button and gave me a copy of the last twelve months.
Yes, I can confirm that is IS this easyStick>

I was in total disbelief but did manage to say Kawp-koon krup. (Thank you)

Then she asked me if there was anything else she could do for me. I said yes I would like to open a bank account if possible. Her reply was certainly and she would need my passport and a small deposit. While she was working on my bank pass
book I was checking Miss Muk's savings account printout. It showed 24,000 baht was being deposited every month and she had a total balance of 174,500 baht. She was not exactly in the poor house.

As I stood up I thanked Miss Suk for the excellent service and gave her the bottle of perfume. I received in return a big smile and the wai greeting. In Thailand it always pays to be clean, nicely-dressed and polite.

I have to get home as Miss Muk said she would show at 10.30 AM and the real fun begins. She shows right on time and she looks terrific. Her hair has been done, she's wearing a new suit, new Nike shoes and a great smile. Of course I congratulate
her on how she looks. It's always best to make a person feel good before you lower the boom on them

A lot like they do with convicts the night before they are executed they ask them what would they like for their last supper.

She starts off by telling me what a great dinner she prepared for her daughter last night and got up early, fixed her breakfast and walked her to the bus stop. This lady is more full of bull sh##* than the Kansas City stockyard. Anyway I
tell her that she sure is a great mother. She is now purring and smiling like a Cheshire cat and asks me if I have deposited any money in her bank account. I tell her no not yet as I have been very busy. She then asks me what I did the previous
night. I told her oh I went and had a quiet supper alone, then since you told me you were going to Mukdahan on Friday for four days I stopped by the travel agent and booked a four day trip to Chiang Mai.

With a look of alarm she asked me when I was going to Chiang Mai. I told her Friday and read to her the schedule I had written down. Thai Airways on Friday flight 002 at 12.30 PM and return Tuesday and stay at the Porn Ping Hotel. I pick
up my ticket today.

Her smile is now gone replaced by a look of panic. What I have just told her has also made her bladder active and she has to go pee.

When she returns from bathroom she looks like a nervous wreck and says she better be going as she has a lot of things to do.

I tell her not to stop by tomorrow as I am checking out at 1:00 PM and moving to a nice quiet small Hotel on Soi 11. With a look of terror she says what name? When I say Federal Hotel. She looks totally devastated and without a word heads
for the door and slams it on the way out.

From my balcony I signal my driver she is on her way. She stops by the motorcycle and talks on her cell phone before leaving.

When the motorcycle driver returns he tells me she talked to someone in English and told him that she had a problem and could no longer go to Chiang Mai and to meet her at the Federal Hotel travel shop. Thank God and Buddha she is gone.

There will be no tear drops, bank deposit or sin sot tonight.


Stickman's thoughts:

Brilliant! Absolutely brilliant. As I was reading I thought you had blown it in the coffee shop. If I had been in your shoes I probably would have confronted her there, with the other guy. But you played the long game and it worked, beautifully. I loved this story!

You really ought to be in the investigations business here in Bangkok!

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