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Stickman Readers' Submissions May 31st, 2007

An Opinion From A Thai Person

China Hotel Guide
• HengSheng Peninsula International
• Jiulong Hotel
• Lansheng Hotel
• Motel 168 Chifeng Hotel

First, let me introduce myself : I am a Thai person. I have read a lot of Farangs' stories about Thai bar girls and I am disturbed by them. Your stories are quite similar. You stated that Oh, I met this girl, that girl in a bar and I fell in love
with her. I took her to my country and gave her a good new life. I gave her lots of lots of money but she ran away from me after all. I spent such money 50,000 – 300,000 dollars and look how she treated me back. Once she settled in my country
she ran away with another guy blah blah blah. I feel hurt without a doubt. Why are Thai girls so… bad why do they have to be like that ? They are scam artists, they never loved me in the first place and I found out later. No, no…no… the
truth of the matter is you did not find out later, you knew right from the beginning!

I know exactly what you meant, and I can understand why you are so angry and hurt. However, come on, you guys all know from the get go that they are bar girls, they are prostitutes! What makes you think that they will leave their country
to go with you without anything in it for them? Come on, you are not that naive and you were not born yesterday. You knew that they are all after your money.

He Clinic Bangkok

I think we all know that you were in love, or infatuated with them. If you choose to marry a prostitute, that is your prerogative. But, don't come crying later that oh, Thai girls are bad, deceitful, unfaithful. As a matter of fact,
you are not talking about Thai girls at all, you are talking about prostitutes that happened to be Thai. I know in your country, it is not a big deal, and I understand that. In Thailand, it is a big deal. Honourable Thai men with good status in
society never marry them. In our country we have like a hierarchy which is hidden in Thai society, even though it is not obvious like in India. Well, it will probably take me forever to explain to you.

A lot of you are around 50 – 65 years of age, and you mess around with Thai bar girls who are around 20 – 30 years old. Some of you said you spent money on them, 100,000 dollars or more, and I believe you…how's that? I am not sure
whether you have a big heart, or a small brain. Let's not dance, shall we? Everybody knows that you guys all go there for one main reason, and that is sex. You went there, you had a good time, and you left your heart over there. Then you
think about taking these girls to your country. You think you can change them, you want to provide them a better life…well that is very nice of you. However, they may never change, but you just hope and one thing that I can guarantee you is
that you can never buy…love.

It is inconceivable to me how someone at your age could be such a complete idiot! I am sorry to be mean, but it disturbs me badly when someone defrauds someone like that. I am sure there must be some doubt in your mind as well whether the
girl is with you for money or not, right? But, you still went for it because you loved (were infatuated) with a bar girl.

Oh no, please do not get me wrong, I do not approve of my compatriot's conduct at all. I think it is wrong and shameful to take advantage of someone who falls in love with you like that. It is bad and deplorable and I sympathise with
you. However, you have to accept some responsibilities as well.

You knew exactly from the outset who they were, but you still went for them anyhow…so don't you think you are partially responsible for the consequences as well? Maybe you are the one who deceived yourself, maybe you like to live in
a fantasy world? I know sometimes it is happier to live in a fantasy world than the real world. Don't you think this is the time to come out and face reality? Well, I know I have been very cruel to your feelings, but if I don't make
a strong comment to you, you will never understand or get my picture, my message or whatever. I am sorry if I offend anyone, o.k?

Here is my second part and here is my advice: If you really love a Thai girl and want to marry her, you should go for a real Thai girl. I mean a Thai girl with education who has a real job, not a bar girl. I know it is more difficult, but they are still
out there. If you want a happy married life, then you must find a way and a will to locate her. You know,… right, easy come, easy go, difficult come, difficult go. Well some of you might say that there are some people who have a happy marriage
with a former bar girl. Yes, there are about 2%, but you are not 2%…you are the other 98%.

If you live in your country, maybe you can find a Thai girl who is already there to save all kind of hassle. You can find her through a college or university. A lot of Thai people study over there (the states, England, Australia, New Zealand,
Canada.) Or perhaps she works in a Thai restaurant. Well, I am sure if you can find the way to go to Thailand for those bar girls then you can find the way to figure that out too. In those countries that I mentioned above, they all have Thai communities.
Maybe, you can visit their website and leave your message on their web board. Your message should be clear and truthful about what you are looking for. Who knows what might happen after that? Let' s hope for the best. You see, you don't
even have to go to Thailand to find her, maybe she is right next door to you.

I apologize once again if I offend anyone with my strong comment. I hope you guys learn something from my point of view.

Good luck to all of you, and take care.

From a Thai person who lives abroad.

Stickman's thoughts:

Fair advice indeed. We get stories like this every so often from Thai women and I really cannot argue against or dispute anything you've said. It really is sound advice.

The one comment I would add is that you should never ever marry a woman unless you are totally content with how she is NOW! Don't think that she will change and improve over time. If things aren't right now, then under no circumstances should you get married in the hope that that will make things better. I see too many guys doing this – and it almost never changes how they hope it will.