Readers' Submissions

Living With An Ex-bargirl

  • Written by Anonymous
  • March 28th, 2007
  • 4 min read


China Hotel Guide
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• Wanyou Conifer Hotel

Some readers asked me to post the follow up of my situation. I fell for a bargirl 1 year ago.

After a lot of emotional troubles I decided to come live in BKK with her. It has been a long way for me to finally live with her. For readers who do not know me here is a short report of how we met.

I have been a very frequent traveller to Thailand both for business, tourism and "leisure". Last year I ventured in one of my usual drinking holes on soi 33. There I met her then the story goes.

Many people told me not to do it and I was well aware that the success stories between foreigners and bargirls are few.

A few things to be noted. I barfined her many times but we only slept together without any sexual implications. The last night we stayed together before I took the plane, she suggested a crazy thing at midnight, to go to a beach….. Crazy as I am I said ok and we rushed to a taxi and told him to drive us to Pattaya (closest "beach" from BKK). We did not sleep, just kept watching the bay from the balcony, on this last night she "offered herself" to me.

At Don Muang we made a hard decision. I would come to live in BKK and for the month she would be on her own I would support her, of course with an amount enough for her to live but far below the amount she was earning in soi 33.

One month later I came back to BKK and we have since been living together. It has been 9 months now that we have been living as a couple.

What made me decide to try to make a relationship work with a bargirl? Not the sexual aspect as we did not have sex prior to my relocation to BKK. Of course she is beautiful (to my eyes) but it was not the deciding factor. In 6 years of sampling the delights of the ladies of the night I never have been attracted enough by one to suggest a common living. The answer lies in her personality. I tend to joke with her that she is not Thai but half Thai and half alien. She is the first lady I met who is able to talk about various subjects with me as diverse as religion, philosophy or history. Her complete honesty is also something I like a lot. I asked her one day why she chose me rather than one of the numerous suitors she had as I am far less wealthy than many of them. The answer she gave me is that I am her best choice and toy with the bright Thai smile which means everything you want it to mean. Quite cryptic answer.

Trying to be objective here is my view. The age gap between us is 3 years and she knows that I will never let her down and that whatever happens she will have a secure future. Another factor may be that I am Asian looking although educated in Europe. Also the fact that we have been honest with each others, I could not afford to maintain her (very expensive) lifestyle and that we would certainly had hard times at the beginning.

On my part, we went through some hard times (work wise) and she supported me far more than what I would have expected. Of course, I forgot to mention she is not a bargirl anymore.

The secret to our relationship? I do not know, maybe just because it has been so hard for us to be finally together so that we are at peace now. I guess I found the gem. The funny thing is that I just read "Confessions Of A Bangkok Private Eye" and it just made me laugh as I made the same mistake to "fall for a bargirl" as many others but it seems that in my case it was worth it.

By the way, I am the one talking about marriage. She is not ready for it right now, and I never met her family (except one of the brothers). I never had a "sick buffalo" story and I never butterflied. Just hope it will still work in the future. Just my little own story.

By the way, why do I trust her? Because one day I was in a remote location in an hotel with her and the day of our departure my wallet was stolen -> with all my credit cards.

Do you know many people who will trust you enough to go retrieve 70,000 baht from their account for you without asking further questions?

Stickman's thoughts:

You seem awfully committed to her and the fact that you are not playing behind her back has to be a big reason for the success so far. We hear many stories from guys who were let down by their lady, but I am sure a few were doing the dirty behind her back – you can't have your cake and eat it too!