Readers' Submissions

My Clueless Friends



As I've mentioned here in the past, I lived in Bangkok in 2004 from January through June. I had a suite at the JW Marriott on Sukhumvit Soi 2. I was living on the company dime at the time so life in Bangkok was fairly easy. Of course, I had to deal with Thais and Thai logic (is there such a thing) in the workplace so it wasn't always smooth sailing. What a grand six months that was. Best six months of my life. Along with my stint in Bangkok, I had spent much time in other parts of Asia, most notably, the Philippines. I had become pretty adept in the ways of bargirls, freelancers and "nice" girls in hat part of the world. My freaking Gawd, the fruits available and the abundance of such is mind boggling. The poor bastard sitting at home here in the US with his nagging 15 stone wife, who has never travelled abroad, has no comprehension of the epoch scale of his own personal hell.

One night I strolled into the Blue Wave (now Bully's Pub) as I did every night after work, I take my usual seat at the bar. In walks this farang women, obviously American (I can smell 'em a mile away) and she takes a seat next to me. She wasn't too bad…for a western women. Late 20's, razor thin lips, skin as smooth as exposed aggregate concrete. You know the type. Real stunner. She hadn't ballooned up to 250 lbs yet…but you knew that was coming soon enough as she wasn't a slight woman.

I say hello to her. She was very friendly and engaging enough. We're having a pleasant conversation and so forth. We happened to be from the same state in the U.S. so that gave us some commonality. She was in Bangkok on business. So, we're slamming beers together having a good time. The cashier girls kept giggling and winking at me. The barmaids would bump me as they walked past me. She turned out to be quite the drinker. We were having a great time together. For me, it was nothing more than an opportunity to speak English normally. You know how it is. After a time in LOS, you start speaking pidgin English like the locals. After a while and a good buzz going, her body language is becoming somewhat suggestive. She must have been thinking I've got my beer-goggles on and maybe have taken a fancy to her. Right. This was her first time and first night in Bangkok so she was totally clueless, and I mean clueless to her surroundings.

The conversation is taking various twists and turns when (at my doing) it turns towards why western men come to Asia, particularly men in their 40's and above. I went on to tell her about how I can get some nookie here in Thailand on a whim with a stunningly beautiful young woman. By this time, I think she was becoming somewhat agitated. I didn't tell her how she's pretty much viewed as the devil by other western men here in Thailand. At least I spared her that indignation. As I take a pull off my Singha, I tell her I can have a stunner in my room within 10 minutes without leaving this bar. "But you have to PAY for it." she blurts out. Maybe, maybe not. Choice is mine. I am like a king here. Best part of that conversation was when I pointed out a Ferrari playing some pool, and a host of other stunners in the club. I ask American Woman, who do you think I'd rather shag, these oh so tightly packaged Thai girls with supermodel looks or you? She grabbed her checkbin, paid her bill, said a rather curt good-bye and stormed off feeling rather inadequate, no doubt.

Anyway, hell, I almost forgot the purpose of this submission. My clueless friends. I guess some of the above relates to the gist of this submission. The point of the story above illustrates that once a western man has discovered the offerings available in Asia; he has absolutely no use for the man-hating, cellulite laden, bitchy, bitter western women.

A friend of mine, 53, has just started his divorce proceedings from his western wife. Trust me, one needs to put on a welder's mask before viewing this women. Why he married this sea hag, I'll never know. He has never been outside the USA. He's an educated, decent looking guy who would do well in Thailand. He just doesn't know it. I've just started extolling the virtues of Thailand to him. I've told him of Stick's site and have sent him links to submissions from recently divorced guys who've discovered Thailand. I've told him that while he remains in the U.S., he's dead man walking with women. At 53, in the U.S., unless he like stuffing old hags, he's going to have pay handsome sums to be with a women 1/2 his age.

Another friend of mine's wife recently passed away from cancer. She was 54 and he's 48. They were living in Texas and now he has moved to Oregon. He's another who has never been abroad. Not even Mexico. He's another primed to get his ass to Thailand. This guy has a heart of gold but he won't be mistaken for Tom Cruise. He needs Thailand. He just doesn’t know it. He likes to tell me about the "hotties" at the local tittie bar. "Did you get laid?" I ask. "No, but I sure stuffed a lot of dollar bills down their panties." he tells me proudly. I can only shake my head at this poor sod. I just want to reach through the phone and slap this fool.

I've tried to describe to both of these saps how they're pissing their middle age years away remaining here in the U.S. They've still got some gas in the tank and yet they're content to chase after 40-something hags in the States. It's frustrating watching these blind fools. I've spent a couple of years in Asia recently and have done more shagging than these two sods can only dream about doing in the West. I've told them story after story after story of go-go bar tales, mall girls, freelancers, hotel chambermaids, you

name it. How many times have you simply made eye contact with a girl on the street and ended up shagging her that night?

Well, I keep working on these two guys but it's kind of like Einstein explaining the Theory of Relativity to the janitor.

Stickman's thoughts:

Thailand can be a bit intimidating to someone who has never been abroad before, hence your mates not being on the first plane available.