Stickman Readers' Submissions May 8th, 2006

Pattaya Pattaya

I have been coming to Thailand for over 30 years, most of the time to Pattaya but also a few times to Phuket and Bangkok.

No doubt many changes have taken place over the years but none as dramatic as over the past 2 – 3 years. I am referring to the bar / gogo scene in particular. It’s amazing how the attitude of the women has taken a turn to the worse. Now I must state here that I am not the conventional sex tourist but rather a great fan of the country, its climate and its people in general. Of course I have never been adverse to the charm and beauty of Thai females. The only difference to many other of my brethren is that I am extremely fussy as to the quality of available partners. I am no oil painting and youth is no longer my asset but I am no ogre either! I make up with wit, worldly manners and have thus never had a problem anywhere in the world to find enjoyable company. I picked my motto from one of Ed McBain’s novels: Always treat a hooker like a lady and always treat a lady like a hooker.

He Clinic Bangkok

Now back to Pattaya. The quality of available ladies has unfortunately declined dramatically. I would say that presently perhaps 10% warrant a second look and of those another 10% really excite me. Now many of you may disagree but I suppose that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. It’s just that many of these tiny creatures in short pants and flip flops are not for me. After all, I don’t want to feel like a pedophile. But the few lookers are really something. Unfortunately they seem to be in high demand and are spoiled beyond redemption. I just cannot believe how money is thrown at them from all sides. Take for example my teeruk of 2 years whom I have repeatedly taken up with during my visits. Initially I was very taken in by her. She is no spring chicken, i.e. 42 something but responded well to my strategies and we became quite an item. She was always quite straight, stating “I work bar, go with men” etc and even told me about her other regulars, some of whom I even met when there were overlaps in visits. Money was never a big issue to her, knowing that me and her other clients valued her company and would not be mean on departure.

When I came to Pattaya this time, 3 weeks ago, I of course looked her up again and was quite horrified about the change in attitude. She tells me straight out that she had an Indian guy who gave her 3,000 baht per day and one of her regulars who comes once a year for three weeks sends her 50,000 baht every six months. She showed me an email from him confirming this and even promising more when he comes next time. Now this is getting quite out of hand. Doing the maths quickly it works out that this guy spends around 5,000 baht a day on her without the promised extras, never mind bar fines, entertainment etc. Of course I am now made to feel like the cheap Charlie. Naturally I took my leave!

Now I was on the hunt again for something fitting my high criteria! Bingo, I met a real goddess in one of the more up market bars. I applied all my charm, a few ‘ting tong’ Thai phrases I acquired over the time etc. After a few lady drinks I asked her out and she immediately wanted to know how much I was going to give her! Playing the money issue down but indicating the (in my opinion) standard fee of 1,000 baht for the night, I did not exactly get molested on the spot. But alas, some of my other charms must have worked as she still went with me. My bar bill including fine came to 1,500 baht. Now she wanted to go to another bar where “friend me” had a birthday party. Off we went and the party carried on till 2 AM and another cheque-bin for me amounting to 3,500 baht. Finally we made it to my apartment and frankly nothing really exciting happened! I had great trouble to untie the Gordian knot in the towel which made me feel like a sex maniac. Last but not least in the morning I was shocked on waking up and looking at what had become of the slinky goddess of the night in high heels and evening dress. Honey, I shrunk the hooker!

CBD bangkok

In several of my prowls through bars and gogos I came to know a few girls having quite intensive chats with them. It seems that another phenomena of today’s Pattaya (and Thailand as a whole) is the steady stream of overseas transfers these ladies get from foreign admirers. This is nothing new to most of us as I continuously read about this madness on many sites. Nevertheless it still boggles my mind when sitting in a bar and some of the girls’ cell phones ring with an SMS advising another transfer coming forth. This is met with a great amount of shrieking and showing each other what good heart one or the other fellow overseas has!

Another trend I noticed is that by far its not only old dirty men coming to this town. Quite a number of youngsters are around too; in fact I also took my son last year. Now what happens to these guys is the following. First it’s the usual drinking bout in the bar, then the bar fine is paid and thereafter the little critters want to go to disco. Discos in this town are quite pricey with drinks so the poor guy will perhaps spend another 1 or 2 k, depending if “friends me” are also coming with! Not wanting to retire too early, after the disco a few rounds of pool are played and when finally arriving home at some 5 o’clock in the morning, the night (a so called long time) is over and once the deed is done, the lady takes a flier! All in all also some 4K– 5K can be spent this way.

So, the bottom line is that nobody can convince me that Thailand is a bargain in the relationship stakes; being temporary or permanent ones (enough has been written about the latter). For me the case is crystal clear, I absolutely refuse to pay these kinds of costs, rather visit a massage parlor where its wham, bam thank you ma’m = total 1,500 baht. I still keep visiting bars if only for the fun of it and perhaps I find the odd exception to the rule. Last but not least, I repeat that I am not here for the obvious only. I enjoy the weather, the sun in particular and keep myself entertained with many recreational activities.

It’s a pity that things have developed this way. I can remember a time when avarice was not high on Thai ladies priorities but alas, cross the poor things hearts, it’s not all of their making. Blame the fools who happily spent the kind of money mentioned (some 150 USD) and still think that they are getting a bargain. On the other hand, in defense of the big spenders one must concede that the world is getting more and more limited with regard to erotic entertainment. Gone are the days when you could be a naughty tourist even in countries such as Japan, Taiwan, Singapore, Hong Kong etc. What’s left are Brazil, Philippines, some of the Soviet republics but all of them pricier and also quite dangerous. Still, I had to put this clinical observation to paper and I hope that it perhaps it helps some newbies to orientate themselves initially.

wonderland clinic


It is a worldwide trend. It is hard to think of many countries at all that are not experiencing growth in the tourism sector, and with that, comes the inevitable price increases.

nana plaza