Stickman Readers' Submissions April 12th, 2006

Another Lonely And Ugly Old Fool


I was warned by many but I didn't listen. But then again, I never used my common sense like I normally do back home in Farangland. I said to myself "not me, it won't happen to me". But I was wrong and I paid a dear price for it. You
see Stickman, I'm one of those thousands of lonely and ugly-old-fools who came to Thailand to enjoy the companionship of younger women and enjoy the finer things in life which is impossible for me to have back home. In fact, I haven't
had sex in over 19 years before coming to Thailand. <19 years?! WHAT! You must have been ready to explode!Stick>

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A few years back, I met "Noi" at a bar and I thought she was the girl of my dreams. We hit it off well together and it seemed everything was fine in the beginning. So I asked her to move in to my condo and she did as long as she
got her "stipend" of 8,000 baht per month. She wanted more but I knew better. The more you give, the more she'll take and more stupid she'll think of me. Thais always think we farangs are rich and don't realize that we
are on a limited budget.

After several months living together she got pregnant. This was unintentional but at my age, I just can't have sex with a condom and without the assistance of Viagra and Noi didn't know how to take her birth control pills correctly.
What do you expect from a farmer's daughter with 6th grade education. She insisted on having the baby since she didn't have any, so we decided to get married. She was 26 and I was 60. I knew the age difference would shock my family and
friends and would be the laughing subject for the town back home but I didn't care since I lived in Thailand and so I married a bar girl like most foreigners do.

The next few years went fine and everything seemed great but with a few bumps, mostly financial. I still had to pay her "stipend", which seemed awkward to me but to her it was expected of me to pay her for being my wife. I guess
to her, it was her job and she wanted to get paid for being married to an old fart like me. Occasionally I also had to help her family out with additional finances but I knew all this since this is a Thai custom and as a "rich" farang,
I was expected to pay. But I kept this to a minimum. I don't want them to call me "Mr. ATM", aka "Mr. water buffalo" and call all the shots.

As my daughter approached school age, we checked out all the local international schools and I was shocked at the cost of educating a single "luke-khung" child here in Thailand, never mind 2 or more. The financial hardship
was too much for me to bare so we decided to go to my home country. I didn't want to do this but I had no choice since my daughter had my name and was registered with my embassy. I also had to lie to get my wife's visa since it was illegal
to bring a bargirl back home to my country. It was a big process with the embassy and they basically knew I married a prostitute and was lying to them. Nevertheless, I got my visa with lots of paperwork and evidence of our marriage. They just
wanted me to be committed and supportive to my wife and daughter when I bring them back home rather then putting them on some kind of welfare program and / or abandon them altogether. Basically, embassy staff didn't want my family to be burden
to tax payers and with much paperwork and persistence, I got my visa.

It was a sad day when I left Thailand and didn't know what to expect, but I had to try. As the plane took off I cried, which I haven't done since my mother died many years ago. I stayed with my son who seemed genuinely happy to
see me but his wife and my sisters and their husbands were not. They didn't say too much and put on an appearance but I knew what they were thinking. They saw a perverted dirty-old-fool who married a prostitute younger then their kids with
a young child and deserved what was coming to him. They never said this to me directly but I could see it on their faces. It was that obvious.

After a couple of weeks I found a small apartment for my family and got a job as an accountant, which was my trade before entering Thailand. As I suspected, I was the laughing stock of the neighborhood. Everybody seemed to know the whole
story. When I walk with my wife and daughter, I would hear them gossiping and laughing at us. Even my wife and daughter felt the pain. What hurt the most was when my daughter was ashamed to see me in school because her friends would make fun of
her for having such an old fault as a father.

After 2 years, my wife seemed angry at me for small things that seemed minor and insignificant but she would get angry over nothing. She just wanted to fight all the time and I didn't know why until I found out after few months later.
My worst fear of bring my young wife back home to Farangland was that she would find some other man around her own age.

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Well, guess what, my worst fear happened. She was having an affair with the local policeman her age who lived in the same apartment complex. I was hurt and angry and ready to hurt somebody but for the sake of my daughter I stayed collected over the whole
situation. As I expected, she filed for a divorce with the help of her policeman boyfriend. I moved out and consulted a lawyer. As he explains it, she would get the custody of our daughter and collect child support until my daughter turns 21 or
until my death.

The judge was unsympathetic towards me, in fact he was hostile against me and gave me this long lecture about my inexcusable act and behavior in Thailand and how I took an advantage of a poor, uneducated bar girl. All he saw was a tired dirty-old-man
who's half-dead without means to support a family and who exploited some poor young farmer from a poor country. The whole experience was embarrassing and tiring and I was disgusted with the court system. This sounds funny now but it wasn't
funny then since I seriously thought about suicide. I didn't know what to do so I took some time off and went back to Thailand to think. Currently, I barely have enough money to live on. If it wasn't for the welfare system for old people
from my country, I would be on the streets.

I'm back home now and life just seems meaningless and empty. Life just seems unfair and unjust. I don't know how long I can go on like this.

Stickman's thoughts:

Sorry to hear that things turned to custard.

Cash up, get as much money together as you can, and head back to Thailand. Get yourself a cheap apartment in Pattaya, and enjoy your life. OK, this is downright irresponsible but…..

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