To James of “Truth And Consequences” let me suggest that the one mistake you make in your observations is believing what people say. The old Marvin Gaye song with the words, “believe half of what you see, some or none of what you hear.” This is true not just for Thai girls, but all folks. Being able to speak Thai, though important to understanding Thai culture, does not give you much of an edge in understanding what is happening with Thai bargirls. Also, the idea that we (punters) are contributing to their degradation is just not so. Let me share a few stories of some Thai girls I have known over the years.
Awn was a bar girl working in Pattaya when she met my friend Jim, a successful broker living in Singapore. They married after a few months, had 2 beautiful children in the next 3 years, and seemed to be living the comfortable ex-pat life. However, it seems skinflint Jim was only giving his wife 50k baht a month for personal use, and she thought it should be more. When he refused, she decided that she would start working again in Singapore’s upscale bars as a freelancer when Jim was traveling and the kids were home with the nanny. I know because I saw her one night and confronted her. After a lot of tears and me promising not to tell Jim, she coolly asked if I would be her next customer. Thanks, but no thanks.
Dan was new to living in Asia. He was recently divorced in America and soon became acquainted with a lovely bar girl from Udon Thani named Noi. They became a couple and Dan agreed to a monthly allowance of 40k baht, plus frequent compensation for the many sick buffaloes. Noi’s family really was poor, as Dan had visited there a few times, and Noi really was working the bar scene to support her family. Noi always told Dan all she ever wanted was a good hearted man who would take care of her. Anyway, things were fine for over a year when Dan was recalled from Asia suddenly. He promised Noi he would apply for her fiancé visa as soon as he got home, and with a little luck, she would join him in America where they would get married. Noi was grateful and Dan continued to support her. Dan called every night, even for 5 minutes, to make sure everything was OK. Five months later, Dan called but Noi’s phone was turned off, and it stayed that way for the next 2 weeks. When Dan finally got through to Noi, she coldly told him that she had lost $8,000 US in gambling and that she had to pay it off before she could come to America. Frantic at first, Dan decided to call Noi friends and family. They confirmed that Noi was seeing another guy.
Nong was always a smart girl in school and wanted something better than her farming family could give her. She started university with money her auntie had given her but that soon ran out. She decided she would never get through school. Then she devised a plan where she would buy her auntie’s shop and turn it into a real massage parlor and employ her sisters and cousins. She determined she would need around 500k baht to get started and pay salaries for 6 months. This would ensure a successful business that would see her through life. A couple weeks later she is dancing in Bangkok and being bar fined most nights. It did not take very long until she had most of the money in her bank account. However, by then she had devised another plan. She bought a condo in Bangna, a lot of
nice gold jewelry, and some very sexy clothes. She started working as freelancer with her own private list of clients. She sends money home now, will buy a new car soon, and hopes one day a client will propose marriage and take her to Farangland.
There are many stories like these in Stick but these are stories that I know are completely true. If you were to talk to any of these girls, in Thai or English, I guarantee she would spin some crazy story different than you just read. It would be: husband keeps me in a cage in Singapore, boyfriend abandoned me, and I am just working for my poor family. The truth is, I may have the facts but I have no idea why some Thai girls act this way. Is it culture, personality, or something we farangs will never understand; we certainly won’t know by talking to them.
I fully agree that you take note of what people do, not what they say.