Rage Against The Machine
“Those who lack courage will always find a philosophy to justify it.” Albert Camus
I don’t know if anybody has noticed it or not, but there is a sign on the side of many taxi cabs in Bangkok that say “I ‘heart sign’ farang. I welcome farang. I speak English.” If we are to believe the theory purported by some submitters that the word “farang” is an evil word, then why the hell would taxi cab drivers advertise their hate (or jingoism, racism, xenophobia, myopia) while concomitantly announcing loud and clear their love for farang? Shhh. Don’t tell anybody. But I think that sign is a conspiracy to trick farang into thinking that the word “farang” is a good word. You know those rascally little Thais. They are always up to no good.
Farang waves down taxi with “I love farang” sign. Farang enters cab.
Farang: Sawatdee krub. Phom yak pai Thanon Ratchadamri krub.
Farang: No, Ratchadamri Street. Rat-ja-dam-ri Street.
Farang: No, for Chrissakes, it is Rat-cha-dam-ri. Go to the Four Season Hotel. You know it?
Cabbie violently scratches head his like a retarded monkey.
Cabbie: You want massage? Beautiful girls. Happy Hour. Wery, wery gut.
Farang: Did I say I want a massage? Jesus, go to Four Seasons Hotel please.
Cabbie: Four Season Hotel. 200 baht.
Farang: Turn on the meter.
Cabbie: Meter no work. Meter kaput. 200 baht.
Farang: Ok. 200 baht
Cabbie: Where you come from?
Cabbie: England number one. England man handsome man same same David Beckham. England man like massage. I take you. We go. Man U number one. I like England man too mut. We go massage. Happy hour.
Farang: I lied. I am American.
Cabbie: You no looka like American man.
Farang: What does an American man looka like?
Cabbie violently scratches his head like a retarded monkey.
Cabbie: What you do?
Farang: I work for Temasek. I buy Thailand for Singapore.
Cabbie violently scratches head like a retarded monkey again.
Cabbie: How much money you make?
Farang: Jesus, here we go. How much money you think I make?
Cabbie violently scratches his head like a retarded monkey again.
Cabbie: You have Thai girlfriend?
Farang: I’d rather put a bullet in my head.
Cabbie violently scratches his head like a retarded monkey again.
Cabbie: You wery hansum man. I take you see Thai girl at massage. Happy hour.
Farang: This is not a happy hour for me.
Cabbie: No happy hour for you?
Farang: Right, no happy hour for me. Do I look happy? Look, if you get me to the Four Seasons Hotel, I will give you 500 baht.
Cabbie: 500 baht?
Farang: Yes, 500 baht.
The taxi pulls into the Four Seasons cul-de-sac. A porter opens the door for the taxi.
The farang gives the cabbie 45 baht, the real price of the fare.
Cabbie: You say 500 baht. Give me 500 baht.
Farang: No, if you don’t like it, call the police.
Cabbie: I am the police.
Farang: OK. I give you 500 baht inside. I need to borrow from my friend.
In the lobby of the Four Seasons, there is a group of older Thai men in uniform sitting in the lobby.
Farang: See those men sitting together. The one on the right has your 500 baht. Go ask him for it.
The cabbie clicks his heels together, gives the farang a snappy Prussian salute, and walks out the door.
“Sticks and stones may break your bones, but words will never hurt me.” Who remembers that phrase from Kindergarten? Good advice then, good advice now. Or would you rather be one of Pavlov’s dogs? “Wah, today somebody called me a farang. Wah, my day’s ruined. Wah, gotta write a submission about it. Wah wah wah. The Thais are out to get me.” Yeah, the Thais are out to get you. Boo!
The word “farang” only has negative meaning if you attach and associate yourself with that meaning. The word itself means nothing; the story you read in to it means everything. And the source of that story is you. If somebody calls you an asshole, how can you be offended when you know that you are not an asshole? It is impossible. So those who buy into the negative connotations of the word “farang” must see themselves in it. Otherwise, you would just see it as just a six letter word that means, “people from a western country.” Regardless, suppose that farang is an offensive word. Does that mean you have to be defensive? The minute you react, guess who wins? Suppose some taxi driver or hooker has an evil intent when using that word. “Who really gives two shits what they think about you?” Why is this word such a blow to so many farang’s identity?
When a Thai acts or says something in a certain way, the farang reaction machine goes off like a pin ball machine. But let me ask this: “How does reacting like a pinball machine empower you?” And how do you not know that a Thai’s mannerisms or actions towards you are not just a reflection of how they perceive of you and your actions. In other words, who is the actor and who is the re-actor? Which come first: the chicken or the egg? What is the sound of one hand clapping?
Why don’t the farang who don’t like the word “farang” just admit that they want approval and acceptance from Thai people? Next time somebody calls you a farang, ask the Thai, “Why can’t you accept me as a human being?” I mean, isn’t that what you really want to know? Isn’t it better to know the truth rather than speculate about it? And if the Thais can’t stand you or hate your guts, what is the big deal? You can always go home and be around people who are just as miserable as you are.
Personally, I think it is fascinating how some farang live their lives seeking the approval of Thai people, and when they don’t get it, they write long submissions to Stickman trying to get approval from their insecure farang brothers who also need and long for Thai approval as well. I’d guess that 90% of Stickman submissions (at least the ones crying about being victims of the Thais) are about farang seeking Thai approval and being disappointed when they don’t get it. It is always the same song and dance.
I said this before in another submission, but it really blows me away how so many farang will do everything in their power to get the approval of Thai whores (and farang wonder why Thais don’t respect them). Goddamn, that is a lot of self-loathing. And I don’t say this from a place of arrogance, but from a place of compassion. Really, why do so many farang guys put themselves in situations where they have no power? How about those guys who write long submissions holding two contradictory ideas at once? They believe that Thais are racist (xenophobic, jingoistic, myopic, whatever) and will never accept farang, yet at the same time kow tow down to their Thai whores and girlfriends in order to get their approval. How can you want approval from a people who you acknowledge will never accept you? This makes no sense to me at all. Examine your behavior: Why should they accept you? What have you done to earn their respect? Seriously, think about it. Hey, maybe if you give your whore or girlfriend enough money or sin soht or a house or a car, you might get that acceptance that you admittedly will never get. If you can get a Thai woman to sell her genitalia to you for a couple thousand, then maybe you can get a Thai guy to call you something other than farang for a couple hundred. Will buying a change in somebody else’s vocabulary make you feel better about yourself? Or do you want Thais to like you for you being you?
When a farang complains about the Thais, he is basically telling the whole world that he is a victim of his own circumstances. Many of you guys sound like gossipy old women with too much time on your hands. Actually, it seems like the relationships farang have with Thais resembles the same relationship Carmela has with Tony on the TV show, “The Sopranos.” But farang, unlike Carmela, have sold their souls for a little pussy rather than money and a big house. Why does Carmela stay with Tony? Even though he can be charming and have a good heart, she knows he is a criminal, a liar, a philanderer, and a sociopath. She is smart. She can survive without him if she wanted to. Why doesn’t she leave or once in her life really commit to standing for something other than her own selfishness? Why does Carmela sit back, take in the benefits, feel morally superior, and blame others for selling their souls and integrity to the devil. But when you think about, how is Carmela any different than those she feels morally superior to?
Stickman has given farang in Thailand the greatest gift, and he is probably not acknowledged enough for it. Stickman has given farang the keys to the kingdom. This website has given you all the tools you need to fail in Thailand and be a total failure with Thai women. I am not saying Stickman is a failure. It is obvious enough that he has learned a lot from all the horror stories that get reported on his website, and is smart enough to make money from it to boot. What I am getting at is that so many of the same models of failure have been represented by so many guys all over the world that it is only logical to conclude that they are incorrect models to follow. The good news is that if you do exactly the opposite of all the behaviors, attitudes, and actions of those farang who have failed, logic and physics dictates that you will succeed. Damn, isn’t that exciting? You now have a model for success. Personally, I have gained a lot of wisdom from Stickman’s website, because it has taught me exactly what not to do. I know what doesn’t work. Some say all the negativity is bad. Not me. I think it is good. If there are any more losing strategies out there, write an e-mail to me and tell me about it. On Stick’s site, there is so much depression, nihilism, hopelessness and despair concerning farang relationships with Thai people. But does that have to be the truth? Life in Thailand doesn’t have to be that way if you do the opposite things of those guys who choose to be miserable and blame the Thais for all their problems. So thanks Stickman and company, thanks for giving me models that don’t work, so I can have a model that works. And I don’t feel really clever about this at all. It took me an extremely long time to figure this shit out.
I have a great example of an insight that I developed from reading Stickman’s website.
In regards to Thai woman I have learned that supplication doesn’t work. Supplication is a recipe for disaster. And how do I know this? There is a huge sample size of empirical evidence that demonstrates this fact on Stickman’s website. I know this from my own life as well. If your purpose is to be treated like a king (or at the very least like a human being) by Thai women, don’t ever under any circumstance supplicate towards them. (By the way, if you have a supplication model that works, send me an e-mail, because I want to know about it.)
When has a king ever supplicated himself to a woman? But for this shit to work, you can’t be a pussy. Being a pussy doesn’t mean you should become an asshole. Being an asshole is just another type of pussy behavior. Anyway, stop being pussies.
Kings are not pussies. I know this is counter-intuitive for many of you, but hey, it won’t kill you to be a man for a change. If you don’t know how to be a man, pretend to be like one. Never allow a Thai woman to give you a bunch
of her shit, and remember that her bullshit is just a reflection of yourself. Learn how to see the bullshit and never supplicate. The modus operandi of the typical Stickman submitter is to chase extremely low value chicks, supplicate towards them,
and when things fall apart, write a submission blaming them for being shallow, immoral, promiscuous, and stupid. If she is so stupid, why does she have a mobile full of phone numbers and a bank account full of cash? Now, turn it around. What if
you got high value chicks to chase and supplicate towards you? What if you were the prize? What if it was you with the little black book of phone numbers of gorgeous educated women chasing after your ass? <In all truth and honesty, it is not that hard to get yourself into this position, especially if you are aged (or look) under 45, dress well and speak reasonably good Thai – Stick> Personally, I think it is hilarious when Stickman and others make comments about how The Refugees reject destitute English teachers. How is being rejected by a whore because you have no money a bad thing? I don’t
get this mentality at all. I know this is counter-intuitive. But if something is not working, turn it around. Why if it was you, the English teacher, who was rejecting her? Or you could thank her for rejecting you. Whatever it is, do the unexpected.
If something is not working, instead of becoming resigned, do something different. Seriously, try anything, and you will have a lot of fun.
The minute farang start thinking in terms of abundance rather than scarcity is the minute they get all their power back. All Thai chicks are replaceable. And they know it. If your girlfriend or wife gives you shit, tell her that she is replaceable. It will stop her right in her tracks. The biggest fear Thai women have in this world is being replaced, which is why they are crazy ass jealous. If you are a guy who is reading this and your Thai girlfriend or wife is giving you shit, breaking your balls, or otherwise making your life a living hell, tell her that you don’t have to take her shit, because there are plenty of women out there who can take her place. One reason they could be breaking your balls is because they have brainwashed you into thinking that there is no other women in the world for you. Remember, you are the king. You are the one who rejects. You are the one who picks his harem. You are the one who decides what kind of people you want in your own life. If your world is filled with women who liars, scam artists, gold diggers, and whores, change the company you are keeping instead of complaining about it. Never settle for a bunch of crap. Guess what? If you haven’t figured it out, this applies to everything in life.
Start sub-communicating that you are a man of high value and let the women in your world know that they can be replaced at any minute. Do this and you will never have problems with Thai women again. It takes a lot of finesse to pull this off, but once you do, it works like magic.
I will give you guys another insight for free, especially concerning internet chicks. If you are tired of the same old boring internet conversations, then try changing how you communicate on the internet. In other words, you lead the conversation. If a Thai chick is testing you with her boring bullshit questions, re-frame the conversation so that you are one who is in charge, re-frame the conversation so that you are qualifying her instead of her qualifying you. If I am on the internet, and a Thai chick asks me what I do, I tell her I make som tum on the street. Be counter-intuitive. Don’t try to impress and qualify yourself. Do exactly the opposite of every poor slob out there. If she asks where I am from, I make up the name of a country or an alien planet. In a subtle way, I am calling her on her qualifying shit. Never give a Thai woman a direct answer unless that answer is no—and use the word no often. Don’t give a Thai chick the opportunity to qualify you. You qualify her. You never want to be in a position where you have to justify who you are or what you do or where you come from or how much money you make. Thai chicks are testing and qualifying men all the time. And that is OK. That is what they are programmed to do. They have come across hundreds of desperate losers, and they know exactly how to push their buttons, because most desperate losers communicate like desperate losers. Where is the proof? Look at the victim submissions. They are all the same. Go to a bar, surf the internet. Why do these Thai chicks, whores or not, all operate from the same scripts? This is why Thai chicks are so successful at milking farang for money.
Thai chicks don’t seem original or interesting, because farang don’t know how to be original or interesting. Thai chicks are not boring. That is a myth. The truth is that farang are boring. And that is why they have to pay Thai women to be with them. If you paid your best friend back home in Farangland to like you, he would tell you to get the hell out of there. If you are not boring and know how to have fun, you will have Thai chicks begging to take you out. I think one reason why Thai chicks lie and cheat is because they are bored; they are creating drama to keep themselves amused. And farang are really no different than them. What kind of drama do you create in your own life to prevent yourself from being bored? Traveling across the world to bang Thai women seems like a pretty absurd reason to alleviate boredom. <I think you got this part wrong…. – Stick>
Another reason why Thai women get away with the shit that they do is because farang don’t know how to communicate and they don’t know how to be men. Learn how to lead in your communication and you will be leading Thai women into your bed without it costing you your shirt or your sanity. If you know how to communicate, you will never need some stupid ass software to spy on your woman’s mobile phone. What kind of person would spy on his woman’s mobile phone? Really, think about it. Do you really want to be the type of guy who spies on his woman’s mobile phone? Also, don’t be afraid of rejection. So many farang are scared to death of not being liked, which is why they cave into Thai women’s bullshit. If you do everything in your power to get a chick not to like you, especially if she is really hot, she will get excited and chase you. It is called the power of active disinterest. If you don’t get this point, go to a bar and watch how the hottest Thai chicks behave.
Here is a cool tidbit on how to get Thai chicks to be on time. If you have an appointment with a Thai chick, tell her that if she is late you are not going to wait for her. If she is late one minute, leave. When she calls to give you her bullshit excuses, don’t react or give her a hard time. In fact, don’t say anything. When she is finished, just hang up. Don’t give her a chance to suck you into her bullshit. Never let a Thai chick suck you into her bullshit. If you decide to keep the relationship, I guarantee you she will never be late again. Thais use lateness as a tool to dominate people. By following this advice, you actually train Thai women to keep their word, submit to your world, not to bullshit, respect you, and value your time. Also, look at how this strategy is basically done with one sentence of verbal communication without losing your temper and creating a face losing scene. Indeed, you will make this chick sexually excited because you demonstrate value through emotional control and manliness. With Thai women, you should always be sub-communicating value, and I don’t mean financial value.
Many farang think throwing money at Thai women demonstrates value. Actually, throwing money at women in order to get their approval demonstrates that you think you have no value as a human being. Indeed, you are just revealing how much money that can be suckered out of you. I have a test for you: Can you respect a person who supplicates and tries to buy your approval? This is my opinion, and I could be wrong, but I think all human beings at one level or another resist being bought off, and this resistance is manifested in many forms, which is why many Thai/farang relationships fail. How come so many Thai girls who have guys financially taking care of them have boyfriends on the side? How many farang guys have banged Thai chicks that had guys giving or sending them money? And to those guys sending Thai chicks money, what compels you to send money to a chick that is probably banging half of Bangkok? Stop supplicating and start demonstrating value. I guarantee if you do this, your life in Thailand will change for the better, especially with Thai women. If you don’t believe me, go back and read Mrs. Stick’s advice to the guy who wanted to dress like a poor slob. I disagree with Mrs. Stick most of the time, but I agree with her about that bit. In a nutshell, and I am deepening what she said a little, but my interpretation of what she said is that it is important how you present yourself to the world. Put simply, have some self-respect. And it really has nothing to do with the clothes you wear. Clothes are just a symbol.
Stickman might give me some shit for this in his crap comment section, because I am disagreeing with his wife <No problem whatsoever with this – Stick>, but if you want to be successful with Thai women, I would suggest that you actually ignore most of Mrs. Stick’s advice, especially her views regarding supplication and her notions of security and take care. Or maybe I have misinterpreted Mrs. Stick. Maybe she means that Thai women want the feelings associated with being taken care of and security rather than the money which symbolizes those things. If you can make a Thai woman feel that she is taken care of and secure, and those are her values, then money doesn’t really mean shit. Money is only a symbol. What is important is the feeling of completeness in relation to those values. The fact is that Mrs. Stick only represents her world. She doesn’t represent Thailand or Thai women. And in her world, the things that she values most are feeling secure, feeling taken care of, and looking good. How do I know this? I have read her answers to the questions that you guys pose to her.
The reason farang have such a hard time with Thai women is that they don’t listen to the words the woman is saying. They don’t look for incongruence between words and actions, between words and body language. You don’t need key loggers
and mobile phone software to know if your chick is lying or telling the truth. Everything you need to know about your woman you can find out in the first ten minutes of conversation. Instead of blaming and making Thai chicks wrong for not having
the same values you do, look for ones who share your values by listening to them and watching how they operate in the world. If a Thai woman says she values her family more than anything else, then don’t make her wrong for being consistent
with that value. Nobody is forcing you to stick around if she is putting you at number 5 in her hierarchy. And if you don’t like a Thai woman’s values, you can always keep looking until you find one who matches the values you believe
in. Many farang guys think they can get a Thai woman to compromise her values by buying her off. Unless making money is her first value, this won’t work. If you want to know what a Thai woman believes in and what she values, ask her straight
out. If your value system is different than hers, you have the power to move on. I do this all the time. If you are tired of the same old boring questions and conversations, ask a Thai woman what she values most in the world and why that is so.
From this conversation, you will get all the information you need to know about her. If you don’t like what she is telling you, stop wasting your time. Or you can write a submission to Stickman and blame her for not sharing your world view.
I totally disagree with Korski concerning his notion that farang are mentally ill. To me, that is the same old victim mentality. All human beings have made bad choices at one time or another. And most human beings, both the sane and insane, don’t know how to transcend behavior that is not in their own best interests. In my opinion, if a human being can totally fathom, consciously and unconsciously, how his behavior doesn’t work for his life, then he can transcend his own destructive behavior. But the thing is many farang are too afraid to ask the questions: “Is my life working the way I want it to work? And who is responsible?” Again, look at Stickman’s site. He has received hundreds of submissions by guys who refuse to take any responsibility for their lives; they’d rather be miserable and blame the Thais for everything horrible that happens to them. I call them toxic farang. It has taken me a long time to get this shit. Everything that I have written reflects a lot of soul searching on my part. I have had to come to grips with my own toxicity. And the detoxification process never stops. It is like meditation. You have to acknowledge and let go, acknowledge and let go.
Choice is power. Choosing to re-frame your relationships with Thai people is power. Choosing a song and dance over the one that has gotten you nowhere is power. I think it was Einstein or Dana who said “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.” If there is something that is not working with the Thais, try changing yourself. Why are the Thais responsible for your feelings of self-worth? The Thais don’t owe you shit. My grandfather said, “If you want people to respect you, you have to earn their respect.” And my own caveat to that is: Respect yourself first.
There's some really excellent advice in here, butalso some stuff I strongly disagree with. That's life.