Readers' Submissions

Delightful Cambodia – A Guesthouse Manager Talks (2)


— The Special Nap —

"You know what, one day our cleaning lady was not there, she went to wedding her sister. So I and young sister must clean room. In room, I say Sister!, you clean bathroom, I clean bedroom. Okay, sister goes bathroom. Then I see the bed… I sit down… and haaaa….. I sleep already! Uiiii… Then suddenly, sister calls me: Bawng! Bawng! Customer coming already! I try to get up, but customer see me already!!! Customer see I sleep on his bed!!! But customer just smiles and says No worry, he will stay in restaurant some time.
Haha, later eat rice with family, family talk too much about me."

— The Special Intermezzo —

"I told you already, we have always good time with our customers (see here). Customers come in the morning, just put bag in the room and go for boat trip until 6 pm. Then at lunchtime other customers come, a couple, or maybe not a couple, but they need room only for 2 hours. They come sometimes. I say sorry, full already, and they ask again, have no room? Ok, I say. I move all the bags of customers with boat trip out of room and couple can use that room.

But then – customers with boat trip come back already 2 pm!! And the other couple still in their room, doing… something!! So I ask customers with boat trip: 'WHY you come back so early?? Now you cannot use your room for one more hour! Please sit in restaurant!'
Later they can have their room, and I tell them, one night free. But they want to pay! They not angry me."

— The Special Item —

"Cleaning lady comes back from bedroom customer. She tells me, bawng!, customer has something in his bag, looks like, eh, you know, what man have here [points between her legs], but it's from white plastic. I say, now you crazy already, what is this, I can't believe you, you show me. So we go to room customer, and I see – yes, looks like what men have here [points between her legs], and from white plastic! What is this! I don't know!

Haha, later we have rice with family, we talk a lot about what is this, white thing from plastic look like what man have here [points between her legs].

After that, cleaning lady does not want to to work in this room, so small sister must go to clean there. NO, cleaning lady did not want to steal from his bag, she just had to put small things from the table into his bag so she can clean everywhere. I never worry they steal, we check them before."

— The Special Customer (1) —

"Monk come every day to ask for rice and food. Ah, but in the morning we don't have rice, because customers don't eat rice in the morning. Yes, we have rice for family, but only rice from last day – rice from last day cannot give to monk. To monk must cook new rice. But no time to cook new rice in the morning.

So I told monk, you come back one week one time, enough already! Now they only come one time a week, and I cook rice and vegetables for them only on one morning."

— The Special Customer (2) —

"One afternoon, all my family sit down to eat rice. Of course we sit on the floor, we don't like the tables in the restaurant!

Then one customer comes and orders a coke from us. We invite her to sit down with us. She sits down and gets a plate of rice too. She wears only a t-shirt and a bikini slip. Like us, she sits in lotus seat. We can see EVERYTHING… EVERYTHING!! [points between her legs] Mama says, if customer eats with her mouth here [points to her face], she can eat with her mouth here, too [points between her legs]? NO, Mama does not say this in *English* of course…!! Sister says, yes, why, she Farang, they can do everything, eat here [points between her legs]. Brother starts to laugh so hard he has to go out. Customer asks, WHY are you all laughing, but we just say something."

— The Special Killing (1) —

"All the time, customers order chicken, fish etc. I buy animals live from market – so I know I get best quality, I can see animals are not too old or too sick before. Sometimes, when I kill animals behind kitchen, I worry. What about Buddha? Okay for him? Maybe for next life, I go down, not up?

But you know, when I kill animal I always say: Oh, sorry animal, now I kill you. But you know, poor animal, CUSTOMERS want to eat animal, not ME, so CUSTOMERS will go down to hell for this, not me."

— The Special Killing (2) —

"One time old sister wanted to kill fish in kitchen. But fish JUMPED away like cangaroo!! Sister SCREAMED!!! Two costumers ran to the kitchen, because they thought something bad happen already. Then they help her to catch and kill the fish."

— The Special Killing (3) —

"We wanted to kill a fish for customer. But this fish I could not kill – too big. Big sister, big brother – they could not kill this fish. And Papa was not there. So what to do? We put fish in fridge until dead. Easy!"


Stickman's thoughts:

Nice.