The Canada Factor
Interesting point you made today in your weekly about Canada and Canadians have such issues.. I would tend to agree with you. I should of course point out that I AM a Canadian so I'm not slagging anybody but my own country. I think you really need to have a better understanding of what's going on in this country politically and has been for many years now. Knowing that will give you a much better idea as to why you are seeing the things you do.
First off as much as many Canadians don't want to admit it this country is pretty much socialist. I know we have a Conservative party but the fact is the Liberals have ruled Federally for roughly 30 some odds years out of the last 40. Not to mention that Toronto Canada's biggest city by far and 5th largest in all of North America is about as Socialist as you can get. The Mayor of that city, well he's a poster child for social welfare states. You would not believe some of the things that go on there. People are out shooting other people with guns and this mayor wants to build more basketball courts to keep those troubled youth off the streets.. ummm ya good plan. They spend over 200 MILLION dollars a year on programs for homeless people, I mean not get off the streets and get a job you bum, but rather here's some clothes and here's some soup, etc..etc.. nothing that will help them long term but just basically allows them to continue to live on the streets and do as they please while continuing to being a drain on the taxpayers. So what you may ask does this have to do with your comments of earlier today?
Well it's all about this crazy empowerment thing. It seems the socialist have gone so far over the edge of being politically correct that they in many cases now practice reverse discrimination. The average white straight male in Canada is far and away the minority. Canada has had to rely for so many years on a very open door immigration policy as our population growth was not keeping up with our industrial base. Part of this Political Correctness involves a massive and very open movement to empower young girls that they control their own destiny and they can be anything they want to be, etc.. which of course is true and should be. But they do this at the expense of the male population, who society just assume oh they'll be fine they always have been. What this has bred is a whole new breed of women over the last ten years that believe the world "OWES" them everything. Regardless of how flawed they may be as a human being they have now been raised to believe that looks and depth shouldn't matter so be a fat cow with crappy manners and it's ok Brad Pitt will still respect your for being true to yourself. That basically they are allowed to behave in any way they want and it's ok.. I don't know how it got so out of hand but I'm not that old (45) and I am in awe of the total rudeness of young women these days. The first world out of their mouths are how much do you make, what do you drive, what can YOU do for me? I know it sounds a cliché but the sad fact is it's quite true here.
Before you get the wrong impression I have many female friends and I was married a long time ago in a galaxy far far away. The fact is that I can't imagine in my worst nightmare being in a relationship with one of these Me Me Me creatures. It really has nothing to do with looks, I will admit I find some Thai women quite attractive as I do with some western women. The difference is that I find far more of the Thai women have an inner beauty as well. They are more willing to help their friends and family and are just more enjoyable to be around.
I've heard all the "oh you just like them because they're easy" etc.. or how can you ever have a real in depth conversation with them? Well guess what? You can't do that with Western women either, because they are NEVER wrong about anything at any point in time ever and they don't discuss they TELL you why you're wrong and that's that..heaven forbid the man that actually would like to talk and figure any issue out together.. not gonna happen.
I wonder if somehow that programming that the woman is always right and we need them allows too many Canadians to be more easily duped by the less than honest bar girls etc?
I am quite lucky I spend about 3 months a year in Thailand, another 3 in US and the balance in Canada each year. I get to see all sides of it and from a three country perspective. You can say what you want about Western women getting a bad rap all you want I'm here to tell you they deserve it. Of course it goes without saying that we are talking in general terms here there are good and bad in each and every society. I can tell you the main difference that I see. Oh I guess for clarity I should point out I've been seeing a Thai girl now for a couple of years. Again for clarity sake, no involvement in any way with the nightlife industry she worked for a company I had dealings with we became friends over time, etc..etc.. ok back to the main difference. In my eyes people always say of Thai girls you have to look after them and you have to look after their family and etc..etc.. well that might very well be true, but I can tell you from personal experience that far more often than not when a Thai girl is looked after, she feels safe and secure and knows that you are going to be dependable, what you get back from her in the way of attention, affection and commitment to the relationship is 100% more than the average western woman. BUT the western woman still wants all those things from you. I can't count the number of guys I know that are in relationships with women making as much or more than they do in the west that still expect the guy to pay for everything…. so how is that better or different than helping out your Thai family once in a while?
Why? I can't say.. but one of the most obvious things about Thai women is that they really do know how to make a man feel appreciated. I hear so many people say well yeah but it's all an act. Maybe it is, maybe it isn't, but as long as both people feel they are receiving value in the relationship what does it matter?
Of course you also perpetuated one of the stereotypes in your comments today about how most of the men marrying Thai girls are the bottom of the barrel in their home countries. Nothing I say about that not being the case for me will make any difference as you don't know me from a hole in the ground. I don't have any problem meeting or getting along with western women as friends, I was married to a western woman and I've been approached on more than one occasion by western women looking to strike up a social relationship. I realize you have to take those comments with a grain of salt as I am making them regarding myself, it's ok no offence taken.
You made a really great point in this weeks column about if you showed a pair of pictures to a Thai girl, one a beautiful western woman and one a beautiful Thai woman, most of them would say the Western woman was nicer looking. Well here is the flip side to that, if you showed the same two pics to a western woman they would have something nasty to say about the Thai girl, she's a whore, they're all whores you know, she's uneducated, she's this she's that… it's their mantra.. if you don't have anything good to say about somebody then do your best to tear them down, in the mistaken belief that you will make yourself look better. When in fact it's a very obvious truth in the world if you have to prop yourself up by tearing others down it's a sad commentary on you as a person.
So much for my quick note to reply to your statements hahaha..sorry for rambling on so I just find it a very interesting topic. More so when it comes from either side, like it or not you are on the other side now. You have been in BKK for long enough that you really don't know on a day to day basis what it's like to live among them. It's easy to look at some nudie pics and say hey western women aren't so bad. Or to take a vacation to NZ for a few weeks. I would be dollars to donuts that within a year of living full time in the west again you'd be on the first plane back to BKK. Not that it's perfect, I know that, but the flaws I find in Thailand are for the most part less objectionable to me and my values.
This was sent in as feedback to the weekly column of 28 August but I liked it so much that it has been run here as a full submission.