Stickman Readers' Submissions August 12th, 2005

From A Farang Female

Let me get this straight from the beginning on: as a “farang” woman, I do not have any opinion about prostitution – whether in Thailand or Poland, Belgium or wherever – as long as it is not illegal and girls/women are not being
forced to do so. I’ve been to Thailand and saw the same picture everywhere: mostly older men surrounded by young beautiful Thai women. I wish you could see the picture yourself.

I want to tell you a story about love, addiction and a woman surrounded by men who are willing to pay for love.

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How often have I been told: “It’s that easy for you girls. You go out, get a guy, take him home and you get what you want. It’s always harder for guys.” Yes, I can only confirm that. At least, if I look at those guys around
me! I found out myself that it must have a lot do with self-esteem. The guys I’m talking about here are easy “victims” for prostitutes – low self-esteem, single for a long time, desperate for warmth and love and above
all, they have no clue what love is about.

I was shocked when my ex (we were already split at that time) told me on the phone that he went to see a prostitute. I felt so disgusted. I was about to hang up and vomit. Why did I feel disgusted? I had never thought that this lovely, caring, charming
and good-looking guy (but apparently very low self-esteem when it comes to talk to women) would seek the help of a “professional”. I always had this picture in my mind: him as a perfect daddy of my children, committed to his one
and only love – me. Reality can turn ugly. Never have expectations. Don’t think that the most handsome man would never pay for sex. Sex? Love! He was desperate to have someone close to him, he explained to me later.

I’ve had a couple of casual relationships. I was also actively and desperately looking for love. The so-called relationships were based on attraction from both sides. There were strong feelings on both sides. I ask you now: is it the same if a
man sees a prostitute or does he simply buy feelings? If you ask me, I’m sure that you buy more feelings than anything else. Love does not happen just like that. Love does not happen the moment that you take out your wallet and put the
money on the table.

If you feel like you’re one of these lucky guys who only pays for physical activity, then stop reading.

I’ve read a couple of your stories and it’s always the same – farang meeting Thai woman, she asks for money, man gives her money, she asks for more money, man is still blind enough, she swears she loves him… wake up! These women
have a job, they have clothes on their bodies, they have food. They are the big earners in their families. It’s enough if you pay them for the job they do. Do you seriously believe that by giving money you can bind a woman to you? I think
you do that unconsciously. You’re giving money and hope she won’t forget about you because you “helped” her out. Honestly, the first thing I’d do if I got money from men who are just my business and I know I
don’t have to see again is say “bye bye” and have myself a nice time.

I’ve heard and read stories about men who lost a fortune due to this kind of sponsoring. At the same time they expect something in return. What do you expect from that woman? That she will be there and care for you next time you see her? That she
will stay loyal to you? I tell you what, these girls simply do their job and you have a more than 99% chance that they will only see you as customers. How little are your chances to have a serious relationship with that girl which is not based
on money? For me, the only thing they find attractive on you is the money.

Don’t fool around with your own feelings. Don’t feel self-assured that she will stay with you. Don’t get jealous if you don’t hear from her. How sick must it be controlling a woman by giving her money but forbidding her to
see other men? I’ve heard those stories and I’ve had enough of it. You cannot buy a woman and her feelings. You can only pay her for the job she does. Her job is to satisfy you. She will make you feel comfortable and care for you
cause she probably doesn’t want to lose you as a customer. That’s all she does. If you get jealous the moment she leaves you, then it’s already too late. You’re in love.

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Stickman's thoughts:

The replies will be more interesting than the original….I wonder if you hit a nerve with anyone?

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