Readers' Submissions

Am I A Fool?

  • Written by Anonymous
  • June 28th, 2005
  • 7 min read


Black Pagoda Patpong Bangkok

Last year, I moved to Germany and bought a business. I brought my Thai-Malaysian girlfriend, who had previously lived in Germany. It was supposed to be a chance to start a new life, as we could have a business, and travel to Asia, is reasonably cheap from Germany. (Part one starts)

I knew J, since I met her in Bangkok, where I was waiting for a Chinese visa. I never really wanted to stay in Thailand, and planned to work in China or return to Indonesia (where I had lived for 10 years). I guess it was fate, I saw her sitting there drinking in Gulliver’s on Khao Sarn Road, after I had had a boring evening chatting to friends I knew from working in Cambodia.

She was darker and simply dressed, and what attracted me to her, was that she was not dressed or looked like the normal Thai girls do in a bar. I sat next to her, we started talking, and she bought me a drink. I noticed she tipped the staff a lot, who lurked around her like vultures stalking there prey. As I had lived in other Asian countries, the age difference or the fact she looked like a student, didn’t worry me.

That night, we went out, and she handed me 2,000 baht, saying her grandmother had given her the money, and she wanted to get drunk. So we went around several bars, including a couple of music bars in Patpong, and she spent her money. I put her in a taxi, drunk and she went home, later.

The next night we met in Gulliver’s again, I came in late (I never turn up on time, after living in Jakarta), and there she was again, drinking Jack Daniels and tipping the same vultures again, who were giving me nasty looks. After one hour, we left, and went around the Sukhumvit area. Again, J gave me 2000 baht, and wanted to get drunk, as she was flying to Germany in the morning. To cut a long story short, we ended up sleeping with each other, as she found a short time hotel, then early morning she left, asking me to meet her in one month, in Bangkok.

I headed off to China, the next day, overland after picking up my visa. After a month, I never made it to China, ending up halfway in Vietnam, and stopping off in Cambodia to visit friends. In my heart I wanted to meet her again, when my head said a firm No. The idea of Thailand put me off, as I never have liked Thailand and warning bells, always ring when I deal with people in Thailand. Yet, this time, I thought I trusted her, and wanted to meet her again.

I returned to Bangkok, and there she was waiting at Gulliver’s, surrounded by the same vultures, who ignored me (her friends). To cut a long story short, she booked a room in a good hotel for four days, paid for everything but had to see her family every morning. After four days, she left again for Germany, apparently divorcing her husband and meeting her mother.

Maybe I should have taken notice of the warning bells, this time. Because we agreed in a month to travel back to Europe again, as I had a home in Spain. At the time I guess I was in love, and forgot I planned to move back to either Jakarta or try my luck in China, there wasn’t really anything in Europe for me. Alas I returned to Europe, moved back into the house and she met me there.

There we stayed for two years, struggling as there was little work, and at the same time I had never heard or met her family, who according to J were very rich (and her bargirl friends in Gulliver’s). We returned to Asia, but I knew she could never live in Jakarta, so it was only for a vacation. We did make one decision; I would sell the house and move out of Spain.

In Spain, J was good, she worked hard, had a good job and although I was struggling we kept together. Until I sold the house, and everything changed, almost overnight.

(Part Two: Was I a Fool)

J had to return back to Thailand, because her visa ran out, whilst I was busy clearing up business and looking to invest in a property in another European country. I stumbled across a guesthouse and bar in Germany, and thought J would love it, as she always wanted her own business. I called the agent, who said the owner was married to a Thai (The alarm bells should have rang), and arranged to see the place when J returned.

She returned, and was different. I wasn’t sure why, but she seemed unhappy, although when she called the owner’s wife, seemed very happy. We flew to Germany, and spent two weeks with the owners who seemed okay, and Jundy got on well with the owner’s wife. The place was perfect, except we weren’t sure, J could get another visa, and the owner translated for us at the immigration office, that we could.

I wasn’t sure about the business, as I had many doubts. J had changed, and was defensive when I talked about her mother or her family. I tried to back out of the deal, but was persuaded when the price was dropped again, although warning bells rang about the owner, who seemed like a real asshole.

To cut the story short, I bought the place, and we started business. It was great, except J always complained about money, and the former owner, who lived next door, had been caught lying about several things. Then six weeks later, the immigration office told us she could not get a visa. The former owner had lied in his translation to us, to get us to buy the house.

J left Germany; I would not speak to her. I also noticed when I did the accounts that money was missing. And the ex-owner (call him Sonnen) ignored me. I was stuck, with little German language skills, and told him not to bother me again. Then the trouble started….

J would call me from Thailand. I questioned her about her family and the missing money. Sonnen started to threaten me. I would fight back by kicking him off the land. His wife started making trouble, throwing bricks at my window, so I would call in the police. Apparently, Sonnen had a reputation in the village as being an asshole and had no friends. His wife was kept indoors as he was afraid she would meet someone else and leave.

I found out later the kid they had was not his, and he slapped his wife around. J continued contacting me, but said she would only come for a holiday as she had to have a marriage visa to stay (and did not want to get married). At this time, we were directly in conflict as the sale contract was wrong, and suddenly I was getting letters demanding commissions and 10.000 Euro from the brewery. <Why didn’t you contact a lawyer if there was a clear breach in the contract? – Stick>

I discovered Sonnen had deliberately lied to get me to lose the business and claim back the house through buying the brewery contract. I cut his electricity which was running from my house, legally. His Thai wife, tried to break in, and vandalise my house. J suddenly disappeared after I called her about returning.

Now, I’m stuck in a country I don’t like, with legal action against me, and after four years, still don’t know who J was. Whether she worked with Sonnen and his wife, after I bought the place, I don’t know. I know one thing though. After getting out of my problems here, I will return to Asia, but not Thailand. And will never trust any girl, until I have met her family and been to the home.

But who really was J. Was she a poor bargirl, who after lying to me so much was too afraid to tell me the truth or was she really the daughter of a rich family. And why did she change so much after her last trip in Thailand?

Stickman's thoughts:

A lot of the stories on this site involving Western guys and Thai women show fairly clear situations where the girls has lied to the guy clearly and that he is the victim. I have to say that here, it is your stupidity and lack of thoroughness that got you there. I’m sorry, but in answer to the title of this submission, the answer is but a resounding yes.