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Pattaya On A Budget

  • Written by Harry BC
  • May 4th, 2005
  • 4 min read


I live in Pattaya all year round. To cope, I have developed some time and money saving techniques to share with you. I live here and it doesn't get dull because my passion is sex, not drinking so I don't frequent the bars at all. When I do, I order a Sprite. I always meet girls in the day and keep them for 1-4 days. When I pay them, I also pay their bar fines all in the package. It's just so annoying for a non-drinker to go to their bar each day to pay the fine which always ends up with me buying several drinks for everyone, her wanting to hang with her friends that I can't bang anyway because they all work together, and to part with the fine itself daily. Mai Sanuk!

My friend is a young mamma-sang and I'm also friends with a farang bar owner and they assure me it's OK to pay the bar upon delivery. So despite whatever the girls tell you, you DON'T have to visit their bar each day to pay the fine or pay in advance. I once paid 2 weeks in advance as we were going to Koh Chang. We came back a week early and I was too embarrassed to feel like a cheap Charlie asking for my 1000 baht back. But when you consider how far 1000 baht goes here (i.e.: 5 hours of massage!), it's a stupid loss.

An even better method of pay is personal cheque because 95% of the girls won't ever cash them! I tend to give payments of several thousand baht over by cheque because I know the odds are so slim the girls will actually cash them. So order your copies now! Hence the reason I also pay the bar fines by cheque in the girls' package.

I really don't go to any bars unless it's to get laid and I dread the experience also because I run into so many previous lays on sois 7/8 and sois 2/3. It's embarrassing. I was living in Jomtien for a few months and the advantage was that the girls would rarely "pop in" to visit which made being a butterfly much easier. Now I'm back in Pattaya and I have repeatedly chewed out the security guards at my condo for letting just about anyone who knows my room # onto the premises! Not that my words make any sense to them and they keep letting girls up to my floor. D'oh!

Another trick is to go on a # run. What is that you ask? I go from bar to bar all over town (sois 2/3, sois 7/8 and walking) collecting mobile #s. Then I enter them all into my phone and send out bulk SMS (text) messages. Since the girls often don't understand English well, I write the name of my condo, room #, and an invitation to get their ass over here now. I also instruct them to pay their own bar fine which I'll reimburse them for. I'll send this out to about 15-20 girls in one crack all from my bed. Suddenly the phone starts ringing (presumably from girls anxious to get away from their shitty bars/lives) and I start fluffling my pillows. Hehehe.

So I work my way down the list till I meet as many girls from my # run. Depending how long I can hang onto these girls (a few days to a week), then it'll eventually be time to do another # run. One of the perks of the time spacing is that by the time I do my next # run, there's a lot of turnover at the bars. Therefore, I get a lot of the newbies which I have a love/hate relationship with. The real advantage is that my lays from last time are usually gone by then or some other farang has taken them. I sometimes breathe a huge sigh of relief when I don't see anyone I've bar fined in the past.

Pattaya is awesome as long as you can bear with the fact that it's within a developing country. I put up with it because it's still better than what I had back in Canada. Canada is cold for much of the year, the people in most parts rather sterile, and aside from Montreal, it's a dull country. Most importantly, the Thai women are so clean due to the amount of showers they take and those convenient water spritzers attached to each toilet. In Canada, I'll surely have to contend with something rancid and fishy from time to time. Know what I mean?

Stickman's thoughts:

I bet a lot of the other Pattaya residents have some interesting stories on how they live their lives…