A Karaoke Headache

So I am planning my third visit to the ‘lovely’ North of Thailand.

Bangkok and the sun-drenched South are not my preferred destinations, I feel far more at ease both emotionally and financially in Chang Mai. So far both my trips have included much trekking, many Wats a 5 day Laos experience and more sex with beautiful
woman than any unfortunate person having never visited Thailand would ever believe.

As I have seen mentioned on this site on more than one occasion, Thailand is also my drug of choice, and depression engulfs me when I am forced to return home to the land of the Aussie due to commitments. You know, the regular things, wife,
kids, mortgage and a job (or in my case a business to run).

Well as luck would have it my last trip to Chang Mai included my befriending a beautiful lady and making promises of an ongoing commitment.

Shit…. Everything I have heard and read says DON’T DO IT! ….But I did.

The next thing I am going to write is going to make about 60% of readers laugh, smirk, or cringe, because that’s what I do when I hear myself say it. Are you ready?? Here goes…….Hmmm I don’t think I can…. Oh

OK here goes…

She’s different from the others….AHHHHHHH!!!!!! There you have it.

I know, I know, 90% of the time it won’t work, I even have a Thai lady friend in Australia who says 95% of the time it won’t. If she is a BG she is also lazy and a liar, especially if she comes from the North-East.

The problem is Aussie women just don’t do it for me anymore. I’m addicted to the size 6 coffee coloured sweet things that so many of us enjoy.

Although this lady is not your average 20 something BG, she is financially very poor, recently divorced, mid-thirty’s and has two kids. Apparently she has no other option for financial survival other than as a BG in a karaoke bar.
She also told me through tears that she hates everything about what she now has to do to support her family.

Her story is sad, apparently forced into marriage to an abusive Thai soldier for all of her adult life and now divorced, she just wants her kids to have what she could not. He has recently re-married and of course does not feel he needs to
contribute to raising his kids anymore. Fortunately when I met her she had only been in the bar scene for three weeks. Again I know it is common for these girls to tell you ‘they only new ‘but with a little research this girls story
did prove to be true.

Along comes Farang with deep pockets and jai dee… let the games begin.

I won’t go into the details of my two weeks spent with her other than total bliss, the best time of my life, and many tears on her part when it was time for me to leave, oh and as I discreetly passed her this months you don’t
need to work karaoke anymore payment, I received an “I want you, not your money”

Before my first visit to Thailand in 2004 I found this site but never bothered to read the forum pages. After returning from my second visit I find it helps me to get over the withdrawal symptoms of leaving the LOS, but it also fills me with
the many insecurities associated with trying a Thai/Aussie relationship. I now believe had I read more of these submissions I probably would not have allowed this situation to eventuate.

I believe I am not totally stupid (although I feel there are many out there at this moment saying, yeah right!) I however, still am not absolutely sure if she is legitimate, I researched her workplace, met her family, had a Thai friend ask
the questions I wanted answered not only from her (her English is poor, but good enough for us to basically communicate) but also from others that know her.

The thing is, she is either completely genuine or REALLY, REALLY good at lying and manipulating me.

I figure I am only thirty-six years old, and hopefully there’s still plenty of time for me to bounce back if a relationship with her does not work. Everybody gains from experience.

So I go home to Australia, leave my wife, sell my house, turn my life upside down and prepare to somehow whether it be in Thailand or Australia spend the rest of my life with this girl and help look after her kids…and probably her mother
n’ sister n’ cousins etc. etc. I’m sure you all know the drill.

The real issue is, is she genuine. I believe every bit of advice I have received from neighbours, friends and relatives in Australia has been negative. I may well be on the way to heart-break and a major life fuckup, but how will I ever know
unless I try. We have been communicating by phone and email and everything seems fine so far. I enrolled her into English classes, and can tell she is very clever by the speed she is able to learn.

In a month or so I am due to spend more time with her in Thailand, and will attempt to organise a 9 month stay for her in Australia. By that time I feel we would both have a bit of a grasp on one another’s language and should be able
to establish if we have much in common. And of course if she is legitimate about our relationship. If all goes well we could then perhaps move to Thailand for a while.

I am determined to try to make this work, and really any more negative thoughts on the matter mean nothing as that is all I have been receiving. If this girl is merely using me, then I will just have to take a different approach to the whole
scene in Thailand and use it as it is as I’m sure it was designed to be used…Short stay, much fun and everybody’s world keeps spinning.

I am open to constructive advice or at least someone to wish me luck, as no-one from my existing life thinks I have a chance of happiness if I continue down this path.

Stickman's thoughts:

I wish you luck, and I admire anyone who takes a risk for the potential of a better life. However frankly, I'd be a liar if I didn't say that this is one big gamble you have got yourself into… Write to us again at the end of the year and let us know how it is going.