Readers' Submissions

Leave Dana Alone

  • Written by Herman
  • December 8th, 2004
  • 14 min read


Black Pagoda Patpong Bangkok

I am sorry that English is not my native language but Stickman is asking for people to send in there submision, so here is mine. Why do so many people write bad things about the good Mister Dana? That is what I want to know? I have read all of the things that Dana and he is a very smart man and I do not understand why people are saying things bad about him in there submissons. He knows all about Thailand and has great advice on how to fuck bargirls and ladyboys and everything else. Dana is a good man and he makes me laugh to, anybody who disagrees is full of shit and stupid. I say that you shoud leave Dana alone. I know the real reason people hate Dana because he has sex with ladyboys, that is the unspoken truth. Can you be honest about it? But why do you treat ladyboys like they are not reel people? They have feelings and can be good just like reel normal people. I am embaressed to tell my friends here in Germany I have sex with ladyboys in Thailand, but I will confess in this submission because I do not think they can discover me that I like to have sex with ladyboys in Thailand . I never thought I would have sex with a man but ladyboys not really men, you know, and they are so sexy because they have nice smooth muscles like a man but they are feminine and even more than a woman, you might just have to ignore the dick or pretend it is not there. Dana is right when he says it is more exiting because they have many buttons to press. No, I am not a hansum man I can not help that. It is difficult for me to find a lady here in Germany because I even scare the sheep. But I am a good samatiran like Dana, I like to do good deeds and I can prove it to you, every day I go out and pick up trash from the street or the woods so that I can help keep the comunity clean and do a good deed for the day, it make me feel good about myself. Once a long time ago when I was picking up trash I fell face down on a big rock and 2 teeth on the top and 3 teeth on the bottom got nocked out. Since I have no money to fix this because same as Dana I do not believe in saving money, that is why I have to go around without these teeth. But you know what, I have discoverd a good thing about loosing these teeth, when I have sex with a ladyboy who still has his thing, it fits exactly into this hole so that I can let him enter my mouth without opening up. All I have to do is to put my lips into the mushroom shape same as when you are drinking from a water fountan and presto, they can jam it into my mouth. But I can only do this with a ladyboy because their thing is not so big and wide.

Some bargirls in Thialand do not really like me too much. I am not a hansum man but I have a good heart same as Dana. In Dana’s submissions he says that Thai people are stupid and liars and they are so ignorant they are retarded, and he is right, I do not like or trust Thai people same as Dana. They only want your money and they think that your money is thier money so they are good only for fucking. I agree with this and believe most bargirls do not like me because they are stupid, like monkeys. Dana is such a briliant man he always has a good explanation for everything in Thailand. They call me hansum man but I do not believe them, they are liars. Same as Dana I like to have sex with bargirls without using a condom. It feels better that way and that is what is important and I do not think I will get a disease. If Dana is not worried about it then I am not worried to. But one time I got a rash on the side of my thing that I had to go to the doctor to make it go away. I thought it would go away by itself but it started to swell pretty big, and started oozing some liquids or something and started to hurt and ich. The doctor gave me some pills and oils and finaly it went away, but it took a real long time. During the time I had sex with 2 ladyboys, so I had to turn out the light switch before we did it because my thing might have scared them away, haha, another good use for the light switch, like Dana says that is what the light switch is for. Yes and I like to have oral sex with the bargirls if they will let me. One time I was having sex with a ladyboy and for some reason she asked me to turn out the light. At the time I did not understand this reqest to turn out the light first but I thought that I would do what she wanted me to because she was a pretty woman and I was lucky to be with her. And besides that I can remember Dana’s words about one time he was with a ladyboy and he said “if you can think of it, we did it.” So I thought if it was good enough for Dana then it is good enough for me so I should try everything. I remember a strange smell when this ladyboy took off her pants, it smelled like cheese. But I thought no problem because I like cheese anyway. I then went down on this ladyboy and pleased her, and to my surprise it even tasted like cheese. Yummy. Well about one week later there was a rash on my face that covered one side from my mouth al the way to my ear. It looked like raw hamburger and it was real ichy and red and caused me some bad problems. People were afraid to look at me during this time even more then usul, so I had to go back to the doctor to get attention. The people in Thailand hospitals know all about things that happen when you have sex with somebody who is infected.

One thing I like about Dana is he likes to have an adventure and is not afraid to do things. I would try Dana's Traditional British Tranny Breakfast where I can tie up a ladyboy and eat my breakfast off her body but I do not think I am as smart as Dana to be able to do this. He goes on elephant rides in Chiang Mai, steals candy bars out of other hotel rooms, has sex with ladyboys without a condom, and is not scared to have a sex experment with a lady like most people who are cowards. I do the same thing because Dana is my hero so I try to be like him. Remember the submission where Dana bought a ladder and other things so that he could tie up and wash the bargirl? That is the kind of thing I realy apreciate Dana’s expereince and advice for. But instead of washing the bargirl, I decided only to get the golden shower when she was standing on the ladder. Dana is a good man because he loves children and gives them ice cream. I never gave them ice cream but I can tell you they like a lolipop. Dana gives good advice on how you can take viagra and male enhancemant cocktail if you have a problem with that kind of thing but it is not a problem for me, it is a strange thing but for me it really is the oposite. One time I was at a zoo in Thailand and at the zebra exibit, for some reason my thing started to grow and I could not control it. I was standing at the south end of a northbound zebra and I can not explain but my thing continued to grow and would not go down and it got worse and worse. When the zebra was moving its tail around that is when I could not control things any longer so at last I had to run off to an inside animal display where I could find a remote corner and I could relieve the tension. I can not explain this thing, but if you have some advice for me please send me email. Yes do not be shy to send me email. Do you remember when Dana told us many Thai people have worms inside them? He is right about that to, just like he is right about everything. I have proof that Thai people, especialy ladyboys have worms in there intestins. I have seen this with my own eyes. To be spesific I can tell you that they at least have worms in their large intestine. Yes, I have seen this. And here it is possible that I can give you some good advice same as Dana and it will be useful to you, when you have sex with ladyboys you really need to wash yourself after this because your thing will smell like shit after you are finished when you are not using a condom. One time I got a urinurty track infection when I did this, it really burned so bad so I learmed my lesson, I am not stupid. After that I did not do the same thing for a long time, maybe even a month. Here in Germany my fatherland, I work at a morg, it use to scare me to work with dead people but now it does not scare me any more. Well let me tell you there are interesting things that happen in a morg, business is always good. I know what you are thinking and the anser is no, I did not have sex with a dead woman. I never did this so I do not have to admit it, but one day there was a very beautiful woman that was brougt in because she was in a car crash one hour before and she died by hiting her head on the daschboard, so she looked just like she was still living. She was very beautiful and she was still warm. But I did not have sex with her but she was so beatiful that I could not resist, so I did something. I am not going to tell what I did in this submision, but I did something. But you can not insult me because I did not have sex with her. In truth I think most people would do the same thing as I did but would not admit it. Same as Dana says people like sex but they do not want to admit they want to try these things so everybody is a bunch of hippocrits. Just like Dana says that is what the light switch is for. You know a dog will lick you if you make him, but if the light switch is off it will still feel the same. But I only tried that one one time because the problem with that is, if the dog leans on you then you know it is a dog even with the lights out because of the contact with the fur or if it barks, so this will not work even if the light switch is out.

Dana has some great advice for the person who does not know Thailand so good. I took his advice and brought a screwdriver and opened up the back of the TV to hide my baht inside. Well all I can tell you is that I woke up later and I was unconsus. I think I got electrified by the TV because some of the hair on my back fell out too. But I was happy I did not die so I went to take a walk on Sukumvit. It was late at night so there was a lot of girls on the street but this time not even one of them would go with me, they were moving away from me faster than they usully do. Later I discoverd that when I got electrifid by the TV the shock made me to crap into my pants but I did not know this because it was dry and I could not feel it, it just iched like it usulay does, but it smelled bad so that is why the ladies would not go with me that night I believe. I was sad that night. I agree with Dana the only guarantee in Thailand is a ladyboy. They will never turn you down so if you are not having a good day go to Obsession Club, that is my favorite club in Bangkok. My only problem with ladyboys in Thailand is that my butt is so big sometimes they can not get it inside me. But it is all a journey so we adapt to this in some way, it will never cause a problem. They can rub it in between the folds in the flesh of my stomach until thier special moment arives. A ladyboy can make a mess on my stomach anytime she wants and like they say in Thailand, mie pen rie.

Dana is right when he says the best way to have sex in Pattaya is with the ladyboys that can be found on Beach Road. Yes it is true they will have sex with you for only 300 baht or maybe less than that and they will usulay not refuse you, even if you look like me. I agree with Dana so many bargirls are lesbians but not the ones on Beach Road because they love me more than the ones in the gogo bars. So many people hate Dana and I can not understand why? Like that asshold Caveman who thinks he knows so much. What is your problem with ladyboys, Mister Caveman? You are just a pussy to admit it you would like to have sex with a ladyboy? Have you ever had the joy of having a ladyboy do it to you? You know that it does not hurt so much because they are not so big, so you have no right to talk about people who have sex with ladyboys in Thailand. Who is really the one that belongs in a circus, Mister Caveman? It is you and when you are there maybe you should have sex with a donkey or an elephant. You might like it.

One time I brought a bargirl into my hotel room and I was not in the mood to have sex because my thing still hurt, so I ask the bargirl to give me a masage. She was masaging my back which is not so easy sometimes because the hair on my back is matted and thick. Everything was going very good until she started going on and on about something ad I could not understand. She looked like there was a problem and she finally left the room and she was very exited about something. I was depressed when she left me before I could get my massage but more than anything I was having problems because my body was iching ever since I went into the woods that day to pick up my load of trash. When I took a shower, and I will admit that it was the first time in many days that I took a shower because you see sometimes when I get depressed I do not shower or come out of my room for a long time, well when I took the shower, I found a colony of fleas had made a home for themselves in the hairs on my back. Ah, now I understood why the bargirl left, maybe she saw the fleas and ran away? I decided right at that time that I should shave off this hair so the fleas could not find a place for refuge. So I went into the bathroom and tried but I could not reach my back, so I had to go out and find a person to do this for me. I remember Dana told us all how ladyboys are good for a guarantee, so maybe I could find a ladyboy to shave the hair on my back. At Obsession Club I found a ladyboy that would agree to do this and the ladyboy thought this was really kinky so I thought this is great I will have fun. Well, she shave the hair off alright and it hurt. We used 6 razor blades, it hurt so much because not only did the hair come off, the pimples and other growths that were under my hair I never known about or saw were shaved off, so my back was bleeding so much. After a few days it became infected and I had to go back to the hospital to get treatment and pills. I was depressed about this, but lucky for me, it was Saturday and I had more Thai Thougts and Anecdotes to look forward to from my idle Dana.

Stickman's thoughts:

It looks like Dana's Fan Club is growing in size!