When Does The Ride End?

This is a question I'm starting to ask myself, but it's one that I'm unable to answer. As my third trip to Thailand approached, I said to friends and family that that would be my last visit to Thailand for a few years as I wanted to see
other parts of the world with Brazil and the USA being at the top of my list. I also said that it was time I got myself back out on the town more on a Saturday night, instead of limiting a lot of my money to Thailand holidays. I was even thinking
about getting myself a steady girlfriend and settling a little. (This thought only crossed my mind a couple of times though!!)

Basically since my last trip (01/05/04) I wasn't thinking of Thailand as much and starting to make positive plans which didn't include it. But after just coming back (18/09/04) from another fantastic trip, life here (UK) seems shit again and
I'm itching to get back there.

I won't focus too much on events from my holiday. I started at Pattaya and met a girl there who worked in Jupiter and before you start thinking, no I'm NOT in love, but Nina (not her real name) was great company. I spent 10 nights
with Nina and 2 of those were spent at Chiang Mai. I'm glad that I finally got around to going there. I thought the visit to the temple at Doi Suthep was awesome. Nina had always wanted to go there and I'm glad I fulfilled her dream
by taking her because we both had a memorable time. Nina is from Isaan and I said that next time I go to Thailand I would like to meet up with her again and visit her homeland. She said she would like that. The few nights that I didn't spend
with Nina, I met other bargirls, played lots of pool, had lots to drink and just enjoyed myself. We would spend the end of most nights in Lucifer's Disco. Nina liked to dance and as I like hip-hop, Lucifer's suited me down to the ground.
The only thing that pisses me off is the fact that I hear tracks in there that I want, but can't buy in the UK. I couldn't find them in Pattaya either. One night I asked one of the DJs but all he could do was point to a track name –
'same old same.' Not a lot of help really if you don't know the artist. Anyone reading this who maybe a hip-hop fan like me and knows the artist of that track, feel free to email me as it would be much appreciated.

So I enjoyed another 2 weeks and now I'm back in the UK and have little inspiration to do much. I often wonder whether boarding the plane for that first trip to Thailand was good or not. On one hand – yes it was the best idea I've ever had because
I had an experience that I'll never forget. On the other hand, I know that life here (UK) for me has changed forever because nothing can really excite me and give me that buzz like Thailand does. I try to explain to people here who've
never been, but its impossible for them to grasp really. You mention the word 'Thailand' to some people and they rave on to you about all the ladyboys there and how even what you think is a gorgeous woman is in fact a man. These people
are fucking wankers, I'm sorry but unless you've been there how the fuck can you comment. Another favourite is – 'What about all the prostitution?' ALL??? A very small percentage more like. Too many small-minded people are
too quick to stereotype Thailand and that really annoys me.

For me, one option would be to consider moving there, but I know full well that living in Thailand would be much different than holidaying there. Maybe eventually the novelty would wear off and finding employment and obtaining a visa there
would be two very tricky stumbling blocks to start with. Another option is to forget Thailand and not return for a couple of decades!!! I'm afraid this option is a non-starter though. It would be like a smoker being stripped of his cigarettes
whilst he's still got that urge. So it brings me back to my current position of being careful with my money and going there every 5 months.
Yes I'm addicted to the ride and at the moment its showing no signs of relenting. I'm
settled in my job, friends and family are good to me and I've got many and buy myself many luxuries. DVDs, CDs, new mobiles, clothes, but none of those things can make me as happy as when I'm in Thailand. There are probably a lot of
you reading this thinking what a prick, doesn't he know that not all of what you see isn't as it seems and bar girls play you for what you are and don't really love you. Yes I know the score on that, I've read 80% of the submissions
on here, I understand fully well. It's not just the bar girls though, its the country itself that I'm addicted to. It may not be just me who finds himself in this situation though, I'm sure there are others.

At the moment I'm just getting on with it, I've already booked and paid for my next trip to Thailand which will commence on 19/03/05 (fourth time in 15 months). I will be eagerly looking forward to that date but still wondering……when
does the ride end?

Stickman's thoughts:

Great title for a submission. I don't think the ride ever ends, but realisation sets in eventually that all is not what it first seemed. At that point, one has to decide to continue the ride or abort…