Readers' Submissions

Quit Acting Thai

  • Written by Anonymous
  • September 22nd, 2004
  • 3 min read


Black Pagoda Patpong Bangkok

By Dawg


Ya know, I am getting older but I’m getting laid more in one month here in Thailand than all year long before in Farangland sure makes me happy. But I also notice the little shit annoys me more than before.

For example:

I see these stupid farangs doing things like a typical Thai. For God's sake guys show some class and common sense. A few days ago I pull up to my condo and have to navigate the driveway because these two stupid golfers (nothing against golfers) but these two guys had placed their respective golf bags in the middle of the driveway to the condo so that everyone driving home had to take evasive action not to run over their equipment while driving into the complex. What the F*** are these guys thinking about? Take you Fuc**** head out of your orifice.

Last week I walk into a 7-11 for some milk and a phone card. Several people are queued up for their respective purchases including yours truly. This ignorant moron (farang) walks to the front of the queue and before I realize it he has cut off everyone and makes his purchase. Of course the Thais are too shy or too polite to say anything. I look at the expressions on the Thais' faces and realize they are aware of this stupid moron’s action and I have to express myself in a rather loud tone… " Yeah Mister, what the fuck are you doing? Can’t you wait in line like the rest of us?" He replies "I am in a hurry." I reply, "Mother Fucker we are all in a hurry in here, that is why we came to the 7-11 in the first place." Boy! If looks could kill. I was ready to knock this ass out with one sucker punch but he completed his purchase and left before I could even set my milk on the counter. Of course when he leaves I mumble to myself loud enough for the Thais to hear "Ding Dong Farang" Everyone had a small chuckle…..either at me or him…I am not sure.

The actions of these stupid farangs while in Thailand is endless. Is it the Thai food they are eating? Is it something in the air that distorts one’s thinking process? Have they always been this stupid and rude? Is it the concept of (When in Rome?) I think not. I think we just have some stupid farang morons who need to have the shit slapped out of them. Of course the guys here reading this are not the one I am addressing. I am addressing the ones who haven’t read a newspaper or Internet article for months. Years?

If the guys here (reading this site) see this rude behavior by these stupid moron farangs, I hope you will take the time to let them know their selfless rude and stupid behavior isn’t appreciated. I am not suggesting knocking the dog shit out of them when you witness this poor behavior….but I would certainly buy you a drink for whatever overt positive community action you take. No wonder the Thais look at us like a bunch of idiots.

So you want to buy some cologne? Where do you go? How do you know if what you are buying is a copy or not? I really don’t have the answer. I was in Lotus / Tesco the other day and saw this little cart / stand selling all sorts of imported perfume and colognes. The sign says "all original." Hmmmm…..

I pick up a bottle of my favorite and start to spray a little onto the inside of my wrist. The reason of course is that all perfumes and colognes smell a little different on everyone respective skin. Something to do with the Ph balance of the skin I think. Before I push the top button on the bottle of my favorite cologne, the sales lady starts waving her hands and says "Cannot Cannot" WTF? I want to spray a little on my wrist. She says no no….cannot …..can smell the bottle only !!" UN -F*****-REAL. I wish I could explain to her about the Ph balance of the skin and all that…..but no. I just place the bottle down on her little cart and walk away. It’s no wonder things progress so slowly in Thailand.

But honestly, I love Thailand. I really do.


Stickman’s thoughts:

Good on you for telling the guy in the shop what you thought of him.