Stickman Readers' Submissions June 22nd, 2004

My Story

I have been reading this site for a couple of years now and have found a good many of the submissions interesting and entertaining.

One reoccurring theme that really gets to me is the sly bar girl tricking the hapless (and probably not too bright) farang out of his wealth. A fool and his money are soon parted but these tales have built up a strong sense of injustice in my mind. What follows is a brief account of my 2 week trip and a small victory against the scheming bargirl!

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Arriving in Don Muang airport after a long trip from the US I took a limo (I thought I’d splash out) to my buddy’s apartment. A long time friend, Kevin had gone travelling in SE Asia and never come back home. Once arriving in Thailand he had decided to stay there and lived in a rather aptly named tower block called T.I.T Tower. He knew I was coming and greeted me with a bottle of Mekong and some cans of warm coke. Being seriously jet lagged it was the last thing I wanted to do but I obliged and it didn’t take us long to get mashed out of our heads and ready for a night out.

Having lived there for a couple of years Kev knew where to take me for a good night. I suggested Patpong as I had heard so much about it on this site but Kev said we would go there later as I think he had tired of the bar scene somewhat and preferred to drink in British style pubs watching Manchester United. After a while in the pub watching Manchester United I became restless and said I was going to Patpong to see what it was all about. Kev directed me to a gogo bar and said he would be along in an hour or so when the game had finished but he looked pretty wasted and had just ordered a meat pie and chips and a jug of Singha so I assumed he would be there for a while.

I headed off through the market stalls and neon and somehow found the bar Kev had recommended. I timidly walked in and sat down. Immediately 4 girls came up and started asking me where I was from etc. I got them and myself a drink and tried to chat to them for about 30 minutes but found my eye was drawn to a girl sitting in the shadows at the end of the bar. From what I could see she was very attractive and was carefully watching me but seemed reluctant to approach, maybe scared off by the pretty but loud and offensive gathering around me. I asked one of the girls who she was and why she wasn’t coming over and she told me she was new in the bar and was very shy. I bought the 4 girls around me another drink, told them to go away and beckoned the shy one in the corner over. She smiled and padded across the floor and sat down next to me. I asked her if she would like a drink and she said 'an iced water please' in surprisingly good English. She told me her name was Tracey (obviously a lie but what’s in a name?) and her dark eyes glittered under the disco ball and strobe lights. After chatting to her I decided I wanted to get to know her better. I liked the look of her and she seemed somewhat more gentile than the terrible thickies that had been in my face earlier but the warnings and foreboding of the Stickman’s site sounded loud in my ears and I felt I was ready for any tricks she felt tempted to try. I suggested we go to a quieter bar where we talk and she said she was hungry and asked me if I would like to eat something. Having not eaten since my flight I felt I could do with some food and asked her where we should go. I paid her bar fine and (stupidly) took out all my spending money for the entire 2 week trip as it was still in my wallet from my flight. I saw her staring at the 100,000 baht and thought I could see the greed in her eyes shining through. I quickly paid and surreptitiously hid the rest of the money (minus 300 baht) which I stuck in my trouser pocket in a secret pocket in my jacket lining.

I waited for her to get her stuff and followed her out of the bar and through some alleyways. Desperately trying to remember the way so I could get back to Kev’s, I wondered if she was leading me to a hideous fate in a dank back road of Bangkok? I was ready to run like the wind back to the crowds and noise at the slightest hint of trouble. My fears were unfounded however and she led me to a small but crowded outdoor restaurant. Tracey ordered without a menu and without consulting me, warning lights flashed in my mind about her lack of consideration towards me. However her choices were faultless and a big crispy fried fish, rice, and a hot chicken dish arrived. We had a great chat. She was funny and charming and very ladylike. Tracey explained that she had come from Isaan because her father was killed in a bike accident and her mother was too infirm to work so Tracy had decided to prostitute herself to ensure her mother’s final years could be as pleasant as possible. Once again this sob story raised my suspicions and I decided not let my guard down. By now I’d eaten most of the food and drunk 6 or 7 Singhas. Tracey had hardly eaten a mouthful and only drunk water. Feeling replete I edged about 200 baht out of my pocket to pay for the meal, but Tracey insisted she would pay as I was a guest in her country. This sounded good to me so I quickly put my money away and Tracey got the tab.

I asked her if she wanted to come back to Kev’s and she said as she was new in the bar business she would like to go home. She said she wanted to see me tomorrow and she would stay with me and I would not have to barfine her. I readily agreed to this as I was drunk and very jet lagged and wasn’t really up for bedding her. She tried to reimburse me of my barfine and said if I really wanted her to go back with me she would, as I had paid but I told her not to be silly and told her to only give me back half of the barfine I had paid for her. So we made plans and she gently kissed me on the lips and hugged me then she got into a taxi and I went back to T.I.T Tower for some well deserved rest.

The next day I got up late and Kev took me to see some of the sites. We saw the Golden Palace, Khao San Road (which was full of skanky looking backpackers and drunk / drugged up maniacs), Walking Street and several bars and shops where I bought some surprisingly expensive gifts for my friends and family back home. Tracey had been in my thoughts during the day and although I wanted to explore the nightlife of Bangkok and not get saddled with one woman I decided I’d ring her and arrange to meet her after she finished working as she had suggested the previous night. When I got back to Kev’s I rang her and said I would meet her after work. She said she would pay her own barfine if I would meet her early. I agreed and we decided on a place and a time.

I explained to Kev my plan for that evening and he was fine with it. I would get plenty of time to see him as we were going to Chang Mai for 5 days in the middle of my trip. I had arranged to meet Tracey at 8.30 in her bar, but after dinner with Kev we went for a drink that turned into 5 or 6 and I didn’t stroll / stagger into Tracey’s bar until about 10.30. She seemed OK though, a little annoyed but I told her with a slurred alcohol soaked gasp I had felt sick but was fine now. She accepted this with a forgiving smile and said she was happy to see me and she thought I wasn’t going to show up. I was surprised at how pleased I was to see her again and realized I had missed her since yesterday even though I had only known her for a day and been with her for about 4 hours the previous evening. I strengthened my resolve and reminded myself of how deceitful and cruel bar girls were to the readers on Stick’s site and not to fall for any of the ploys they use on their victims.

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For the next 2 days I saw Tracey for most of the time. Kev had to do a couple of days work in the meat packing factory before he and I left for Chang Mai. He left me a key and arranged to meet me at the station. I would stay at Tracey’s apartment for the next 2 days where she would cook for me and we would make 'the beast with two backs' as often as we could. Tracey didn’t go back to the bar in those two days, instead she took care of me, repeatedly asked me if she could come to Chiang Mai with me and showed me parts of Bangkok I would never have seen without a local to guide me.

The day before we left for Chang Mai Tracey and I had popped back to Kev’s to pack my bag for the trip and then headed off to the station to reserve us some beds on the overnight train. I was meeting Kev an hour before the train left in a bar on the upstairs balcony area of the station. To avoid any language problems I asked Tracy to speak to the woman in the station and explain what kind of tickets I wanted. The woman said something to Tracey and Tracy turned round and asked me for about 2000 baht to pay for the tickets. With a shock I realized I had left my money and credit cards at Kev’s hidden in a water tight capsule at the bottom of his fish tank and I only had about 500 baht on me. I considered going back to get it but realized there was no way to let myself back in to his apartment as I had posted the keys Kev had lent me back under his door when I had left earlier and he was going straight to the station from the plant where he worked. Tracey saw the look on my face and smiled and said she would pay for mine and Kev’s tickets as long as she could buy one for herself to come with us. I wasn’t keen on this idea as part of the deal with Kev was that I could see Tracey in Bangkok but he and I would catch up in Chang Mai as it was like a mini vacation for him and we hadn’t seen each other for about 3 years so we had a lot to talk about. I was also not impressed with Tracey’s weak attempt at blackmail and told her so, giving her a right good telling off and probably embarrassing her in front of the long queue that had formed behind us. I told her I would not be held to ransom by a simple bargirl and if she was a good person she would lend me the money to buy the tickets. Maybe I overreacted but she saw it my way and bought mine and Kev’s tickets without much argument. I saw she was upset and bought her a coke and said I was sorry. This pacified her and soon she was giggling and telling me how much she liked me and was going to miss me terribly. I figured this would be a good time to ask her if I could borrow another 2000 baht for the trip up north, I figured I could borrow any more cash I needed from Kev, she hesitated then agreed and actually asked me if I wanted 3000, I quickly accepted the extra and thanked her. Back at her place she gave me the money and started to cook my dinner. Let me just say something about Tracey’s cooking here. She cooked me a lot of meals while I was at her house and for the most part they were good, but on occasion I had to tell her to remake some of them from scratch with me looking over to make sure she didn’t include too many coriander leaves, I am quite specific about this and I only like 2 leaves per medium sized meal, anyway she soon got the hang of it and I felt happy I could educate her in this small way! That night and the following day we spent in bed making up for the time we wouldn’t be together when I was in Chang Mai.

The afternoon of my departure arrived and Tracey came to the station with me to see me off and as I waved good bye to her from the departing train she looked so small and delicate I had second thoughts about going to Chang Mai. It was too late though and I settled back on my seat and thought about the women I’d be meeting in Chiang Mai and watched the filth and squalor of outer Bangkok whistle past the window and thanked my lucky stars I would never get too close to it.

Chang Mai passed without too much to report. I liked it up there and found it much more relaxed than Bangkok. Kev and I caught up and it was great to hear about his travels and what he’d been up to since he left the western world.

From Chiang Mai Kev and I went to Pai and embarked on a rafting trip which involved an overnight stay in a hut on the side of the river which was hellish. Thick cloying mud and grim food combined with no electricity and annoying fellow rafters. Back in Chiang Mai we went to a couple of bars where the women were incredibly ugly! I ended up taking one back who looked like the monster from the movie 'the Goonies' (I'm not joking). I was too drunk to say no but in the morning under the bleak light of the Asian sun when she tried to mount me for some morning action I told her no way and to get off and ship out ASAP! She didn’t really get it so I let her give me a blowjob to keep her happy. Then she insisted on watching a programme that looked like a mixture of Benny Hill and one of those early martial arts films. Eventually the stink of her smokes and cheap perfume became too much and I literally grabbed her arm and pushed her out the door, not before giving her the money for her services. A minute later I heard a shrill voice calling up to my open window…of course it was her. I looked out and she shouted up how she wanted to see me tonight but I just flicked the finger at her and shut the window. <You’re playing with fire here… – Stick>

On my last night in Chiang Mai Kev and I were having dinner in a restaurant when I said something to our waitress, I can’t remember what exactly I said but it was something like 'do you have any salt please?'. She started nervously giggling and I asked her why. After a protracted explanation it transpired that what I had said sounded very like 'I like you a lot' in Thai. I had inadvertently pulled the waitress. I arranged to meet her at midnight after she finished her shift. Kev and I went for a drink and at midnight I went to the arranged meeting place. She pulled up in a massive Subaru jeep and I got in and we went and sat in the jeep in the university grounds. She explained she was a student and I figured her parents were quite rich. After a little more chit chat I ended up back at her apartment and she was wild in bed! I didn’t have any condoms with me, not expecting things to move so quickly so I made her put her pants back on and go to the 7-11 to buy some. The following morning she said her mother often came round at 9.00am. This didn’t sound too good to me so I started pulling my shorts back on to get the hell out of there. She wanted me to hide in a wardrobe… fricking way. So I got dressed and she drove me to my hotel. Sitting in the jeep she said she wanted me to stay and she would miss me but I told her I was back to Bangkok that afternoon. She gave me her number on a piece of paper, and held my hand out of site of any pedestrians walking past. Once out of car I threw her number into the bin (no point in keeping it) and thanked Thailand for an interesting experience.

I met Kev, and we crashed out by the pool until it was time to get a tuktuk to the station for our overnight trip back to Bangkok. One word of warning to anyone that gets that overnight train, make sure you reserve a berth away from the engine because it is almost impossible to sleep when your head is right next to it due to the constant, violent noise it makes throughout the night. As I lay there with my entire body shaking due to engine vibrations my mind was full of doubts about Tracy and what she wanted from me. She had given me no reason to doubt her sincerity and yet I couldn’t quite believe she would be so open and generous without wanting some king of payback. I decided there was no point in worrying about it and as long as I kept my wits about me there was no real danger. As I drifted into sleep images of the bargirl in Chiang Mai kept jolting me awake and I felt a kind of dirtiness no shower could cleanse me of. The sooner I was back in Bangkok the better!

To be continued………..

Stickman’s thoughts:

Aaargh, these multi-part stories. Cut to the chase!

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