Readers' Submissions

Thai Experience, Why Did I Not Listen, Part 1

  • Written by Chops
  • May 14th, 2004
  • 4 min read


Black Pagoda Patpong Bangkok


My Thai experience started in May 2003 during the downturn in the Asian tourist trade due to Bali and SARS.

I decided to go to LOS after the death of my one true love of cancer at 40. I saved some money and went to Phuket for 2 weeks. Armed with philosophical and practical words of Stickman and his contributors I thought what could go wrong.

I work in the criminal justice system and had thought no one could get through my defences especially those ladies of the night.

My travel experiences were quite broad and included working in Papua New Guinea, a beautiful but potentially dangerous place.

On arrival in Phuket I choose a bar I liked and decided I would not barfine a girl from there, it would be my drinking pub. Great idea but I failed with 2 days to go. I went with a girl from the bar and she said how much she liked me and when would I be back, 5 months was my reply.

My last night in Phuket I was drunk and barfined another girl from the bar, mistake 2. Number 1 took her anger out on the new girl in a tirade of abuse, so much for the calm heart and losing face what a nightmare.

A concern of mine was in PNG I found that with little effort I was invited to people's houses and villages within a very rapid time frame. I spoke little at these social functions and listened to the people and tried to figure out the workings of the village group. As the well to do foreigner I bought food and beer to most parties but not always and no one expected me to. I was a guest in the village in LOS I was a farang ATM.

November 2003 Defences Down. Where Was Stickman?

Armed with Thai in six easy lessons and more from the Stick I arrived the better prepared? Back to Phuket, back to my drinking bar, no bar fine from there keep it cool after last time. The girl who claimed me the first time said how much she cared for me, but I told her I will not barfine her or any girl from the bar. I explained I was on holiday and I would be a butterfly. Number 2 from the bar left for another place due to bad blood in the bar, most of the girls there were from the Isaan and related in some way including the Thai owner, Number 2 was from Bangkok.

On a night ramble my Thai world changed I went to a go-go and saw a girl from the central plains and my heart pounded. I tipped her while she danced and bought her drinks my DEFENCES were gone. The inevitable happened that night. We went to eat and she spoke a language I could not understand to the staff, I said what was that language, from Chiang Mai she said. By spending time at the drinking bar I did not speak much to the girls but listened to the way they spoke Thai and swapped into Isaan at various times in the conversations. These girls said I was a quiet man who spoke little but listened lots and they complimented me on the way I was learning both Thai and Isaan.

Back to the go-go girl, Goi I shall call her. She had the skin colour I adored brown but being from Kampaengphet she was unlike the Isaan girls in looks. The Isaan bar girls from the pub knew I barfined Goi and the cashier who I practiced my woeful Thai and Isaan with said to me a man with good heart should not have regular Thai bargirl without asking her about it. Professional or Friendship? Barfine her cousins keep the money in house?

My first girl from the drinking bar went off her head at me the next night as I sat drinking she swallowed something the girls said valium but I have worked with druggies I would say it was yaa baa. I wore a bruise on my leg from where she kicked me calling me some very impolite things in the process whilst proclaiming her love for me. I can not hit a woman and have distinct trouble even having to restrain them so I left rather rapidly.

Back to Goi I barfined her for the next 10 days and my language skills started to improve at the greatest rate so far.

Help me Stick I have fallen in love with a bargirl!

I had a wonderful holiday and started even to get invited to parties where I was the only farang, success at last I can sit listen and learn about these people. Still the ATM and the underlying factor was I bought most things. I bought her a 3 baht bracelet and said to her not to sell it. She asked me when I would be back and I said January 2004. Goi the beauty of the central plain said you go with no one else but me when you come back.

So back to work and full of the LOS blues.

Stickman's thoughts:

Oh dear, I can see where this is going…