I think I could really bore myself with writing all the details of my experience with my Thai ‘lady’ so I will cut it as short as possible.
I did the living together thing, helped ‘pay’ for the various issues that her mother kept firing at her, (Mom has the boys, hence the leverage) and ‘played the game well’. I do not butterfly, drink, gamble, abuse, shout, ignore, insult or any of the ‘gripes’ I hear levelled at us farangs by Thai women. I took her to Europe twice, bought her a plot of land for a future house, taught her good English and she always had money in her purse.
Her niece arrives looking for work. We go hither and thither but apart from the bars, (in Pattaya), there is little available over 4-5,000 THB / month. So niece goes home. One month later niece returns and wants to work in a bar, and so she does, and of course gets her first ‘taste’ of a farang.
She WAS a shy girl, and came to me and asked some questions about farangs, and I did what I could to inform her, (she seemed to want to get married and settle with ‘a good man’).
Over a year later she still talks to me, and I believe she tells me just about everything she is thinking, and plotting, or should I say planning? She has at least four guys considering marriage, they all send her money for the same reason, to stay home and study. She has them all convinced that her mobile does not work at home, and so has at least four SIM cards, and a good diary to track the appropriate visiting dates for her suitors. And she works all the time.
I have to say that in one year she may well have accumulated close to 1 million THB, one way or another. So I would seriously doubt she will ever marry any of these guys as it would not be financially prudent for her to do so. Her family knows exactly what she is doing and get a good share of the ‘take’, in either goods, gold or money.
Now you might think “Boy I’ll bet she’s a darling?”, well think again? She is young, she is extremely attentive, she is compliant, and she evidently has figured out what gets these guys so excited as to fill her coffers with gifts, gold and money. Darling, no Sir, but makeup and a nice outfit seem to work wonders.
Now whilst all this is happening this one time farmer's daughter who wore an anorak with holes in it and didn’t attract a second look is visiting ‘us’. Join the dots guys?
My ‘lady’, who when I met her was working on a farm for 3,000 THB / month and desperate to find a good guy ‘for all her life’, is watching and listening. Then I get some nonsense arguments starting, and they lead to an equally nonsense demand based on either I do something or she leave. So I said goodbye. I didn’t like to do that but….
Then she returns, sorry and such like then leaves again, and this goes on for a week or two. I just carried on as if nothing was wrong and figured that this will sort itself out.
It did, she came back, then refuses to listen to my requests, I got angry (for the first time in 2 years) so I cannot possibly love her, and she blames me for getting angry, (the face thing enters now), so I am wrong and she leaves.
I think, OK I’ll apologise and see what happens. NOTHING happens, I am consigned to oblivion.
My contact, such that I have any, with this ‘lady’ is about as friendly as would be a contact with a tax inspector. She never calls me, I am, to all intents and purposes, as dead as that Dodo bird.
Now this is from a ‘lady’ who never set foot in a bar, but it is easy to see that associating in the environs of places like Pattaya will have effects beyond what one might expect, even if you are a ‘good guy’, as I believe I was, and wish to remain. I live there as I have a large number of friends in the area, some I have known for decades.
Much is written about becoming aquatinted with the ways and customs of Thailand and I agree with all this. I also agree that farangs should be more respectful of Thais and the Thai ladies they meet. I did my full share of these things, and more, so just keep in mind that at the end of the day it might come down to it being nothing more than the words in the title of the book on Pattaya bargirls “Money Number One”.
My ‘lady’, so I am informed by her niece indeed, (it’s unusual to get any info from one Thai about another), is now shacked up with a tourist on Koh Samui. No doubt the niece has informed her Auntie of the required strategies, and the number of SIM cards she will require as her new adventure unfolds?
So, as the sergeant on Hill Street Blues used to say to his charge “Be careful out there”. You may know exactly what you want, and that is all you can do, as anything outside of your own thinking is beyond your control, and always will be.
Never give in to a woman's demands. If you get the old "Do this or I am out of here" then let them go!