The Trap Of Her Agenda

I just returned from my sixth trip to Bangkok and felt compelled to write about something which is actually relevant to men in relationships everywhere, not only with bar girls in Bangkok.

With bar girls it goes something like this: You see a girl you like, you talk and buy her a drink and then bar fine her. Everything seems cool. She's cute, sweet, the sex is good, she gives you that GFE (girl friend effect) affection. But sometimes your feelings fluctuate between being annoyed and feeling great. At first it's just a few things that are a minor irritation, but later start bothering you. Or maybe it's a feeling of uncertainty, where one minute you feel great and are totally into the girl and the next moment you feel the need to re-evaluate what is really going on….

Sometimes it starts right away. You take her out of the bar after paying 600 baht for drinks and 500 baht for the barfine, and she stops on the street to buy some clothes and gives you one of those cute please darling looks so you will pay the 400 baht. Then she gives you some enthusiastic affection and any feeling of annoyance quickly disappears. Or it might happen more gradually. The oppressive heat in Bangkok and the sexercise makes you a bit lethargic and uncertain about what you feel like doing, so you ask her what do you want to do? The next thing you know, you are following her lead, stopping to talk with her friends, while you just stand there because you don't understand Thai. Later it might mean staying late at the disco she likes, and ignoring your feelings of being tired of the cigarette smoke and the loud techno music. Eventually it might be following her around while she shops and you become a walking wallet. And of course it could get much worse. THE MAIN REASON YOU FOLLOW HER AGENDA IS BECAUSE YOU WANT HER TO LIKE YOU.

Now some or all of these things may be harmless, you might enjoy it all. The real issue is how much of your own happiness and peace of mind are DEPENDENT on her liking you. Maybe the reason you put up with her agenda is because you're a nice guy and she is like a girlfriend, or maybe it is because you're addicted to the feelings YOU have when she seems to really like you, wants to please you, wants to make you cum, has an orgasm when you have sex, and is smiling and acting cute and in a good mood all the time.

Any guy who has had a beautiful young lady with a gorgeous body giving affection to you makes you feel wonderful. It's like nectar from the gods. But the more addicted you are to HER nectar, the more easy it is to fall into the trap of Her Agenda. And this nectar is what makes guys do some really stupid things, go through a lot of misery, and waste a lot of money/time, because it can really cloud your judgment. Like a junkie who steals or kills, to get a fix.

It's something that demands self awareness. Sometimes I want to buy a lady something, and don't care about going some place she wants to go. But I try to watch myself and when I start getting a bit irritated by what she is doing, I take charge. Sometimes this means saying 'no' even if she seems sad, sometimes it means walking away and finding someone else. Be in control of your fun. If you can't and depend on a lady for your fun, at least see what you are doing. If you are a bit pussy whipped, then admit it. Otherwise you will REALLY be pussy whipped.

Stickman says:

Great stuff. Thai women can be moody and even get bitchy if they don't get their own way. Let them vent and bitch and never give in. Of course one has to be reasonable, but do not enter into their silly games AND always be honest with yourself.