Stickman Readers' Submissions January 15th, 2003

What Not To Do While Whoring in Thailand

On my second trip to Thailand I did the unthinkable. Dudes, please forgive me on this one. I submit I was a complete idiot. I've since recovered my self-esteem. It turned out to be a valuable lesson. It was my monger wake up call. It has hardened me just enough so I don't take any more shit from a girl I'm paying to fuck.

I arrive from Los Angeles after midnight. I take a downstairs taxi to Nana Hotel, unpack and head for the parking lot that's swarming with after hours pussy. I look around for more than 30 minutes and find nothing. Then the stunner appears. She's tall, with fair skin and long hair. She's slender but with hips. She's beautiful. She knows it because she starts the bidding at three thousand baht…then twenty five hundred…then settles for two thousand. Little head is, of course, leading the charge. I didn't even ask if it was long time or short time, if she smoked or took it up the ass. I'm drooling. She's hot and my hard up American ass is completely gaga.

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Did I already ask for forgiveness for what I'm about to tell you?

We get upstairs. I light candles. I want a mood with this one. She's my girlfriend, my bride. I'm already introducing the whore to my mother. "Mom, meet the Thai whore-bitch that's about to rip me off." The light is soft. She wants to jump in the shower right away but I pull her on my lap and play grab ass while she's still in her tight pants and belly shirt. I love that.

She suddenly asks for the two thousand. After, I say. Now, she says. Well, any self respecting monger or any man with any sense would give the girl the boot before handing out the money up front. Except for massage parlors, in Thailand you pay after. Many girls I've been with don't even negotiate but wait silently for the pay out…after sex. I had never before been asked for money up front and haven't since. What I can say for myself before I admit to handing her the money up front is I haggled. It was the mother of all haggling sessions which ended with me relenting. She said she didn't want to get ripped off. "Many man fuck but no pay." "I'll pay you, but after." "No," she says. Oh god, she's right there and looking so good. I just want to start chewing on that flesh. But I'm stubborn. It goes back and forth for too long. She tells me that if I pay up front this time I won't have to pay up front next time. Oh boy.

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I give her the fucking money, OK! I was an idiot but I did give it too her.

She went into the shower. I light a few more candles and set a bottle of baby oil on the night stand. She comes out. I go in. I knew I made a mistake. There was no longer friendly feelings between us. I was pissed and far from horny. Fuck it. I would make the best of it and fuck the shit out of her, channel that anger right up her ass.

When I came out she was bundled in blankets. I pull them off. I stare at her body as she attempts to cover herself with her hands. I grab the baby oil. I squirt some on my chest and then I point it at her. I really want to get oily and messy. "I no like that," she says. Of course you fucking don't. I was already dripping it over her. She shrank back and turned away. "Come on. What's wrong with a little oil?" I wasn't trying to speak to be understood. I sent the bottle down and crawled in bed. I loop my arm under her waist to pull her up against my greasy chest. "No like. No like." I try to kiss her and she gives me a lemon face, all scrunched up and disgusted.

This fucking chick doesn't want to fucking fuck! I just gave her two thousand baht and I can't even get a god damn kiss. I gave her a hard look but I don't think it mattered how I looked at her. She didn't care. I was pissed and disappointed. No din din at mommy's place with this bitch. So with all the tenderness I could muscle I say: "Will you at least suck my dick." She stares at me like I said nothing at all. "You know, smoke. Smoke me." "No. Me no like smoke." "Then give me my money back and go." "No." "Yes. I want my money." "No," she says, shaking her head.

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I knew where she put that money. I saw her roll it tight and slip it her pocket. I glance around the room and spot her pants folded over the chair. I look at her. She's quickly glancing from me to her pants. She was nervous. Good. I shift off the bed, walk over to the chair and grab her pants. She leaps up and makes her own grab. She's fast and naked. She didn't seem to care that her tits were jiggling as we played tug of war with her pants. The battle lasts a few seconds. I'm having one of those moments where you see yourself from a distance. I didn't like it. I was wrestling with some hooker bitch over forty bucks. I began to pity the girl. I know I shouldn't. From what I've learned, she's just a business associate welching on a deal.

Then I was in "just get the fuck out" mode. It was my mistake in the first place for giving her the money up front. That's when I lost on the deal. I could have taken the money back. I'm six four and over two hundred pounds. While I'm no fighter, I could have easily over powered her. Instead, I ask for a thousand baht back. No. Well, either take it or throw her out. Faking it all the way I tell her "to get the fuck out." She hurriedly dresses and leaves.

Stickman says:

The title of this article says it all…

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