Which TWAT Is Right?

Which TWAT is correct? Well I am not here to personally "slate" either. What follows is my qualified opinion.

I am not qualified to write on certain matters, ilka "brain surgery" or "genetic engineering". But I am qualified to write on matters relating to financial areas such as "economics". I am, as we all are, qualified to write about moral issues too, such as "prostitution"…this article concentrates on economics and the effects of over-paying. I am not going to include graphs or pie-charts…so don't get too worried…its just my qualified opinion that I am giving you. I am not going to spend too long writing this because it could become very very detailed, time consuming and boring both for the reader and the author. So, I will make it short and to the fucking point – OK.

As I have been a guest of Thailand for 14 months I found both articles named "Top Whack Annoying Tourists" and A TWAT Replies to be of interest to me personally. Why? Because I have been the man both sides of the argument. I have been a "generous" type (here for 2 weeks holiday in 1998) and I have been a "bargaining" type too. Now, I am neither because I don't bother taking bar girls home anymore. Sooner or later one wakes up and realises that "this can't carry on….its gotta stop". But that's another discussion….

What Mr. Rich (A TWAT Replies) does not understand (or, if he does – he does not care) is that over paying is just a thing designed to satisfy his ego and gain some "false" respect. Its not about "spreading your money around" as he claims. He, like others, throws money around because they want to buy respect. Why? This could be because he can't earn it from other quarters. But who cares why? The principle of "paying more" for goods or services "to spread some money around" is simply not believable. Can Mr. Rich tell us this: – IF YOU WERE BUYING A CAR, STEREO SYSTEM, RAZOR BLADE, BAR OF SOAP, NEW WALLET or any other assets, possessions, fast moving consumable goods or services…WOULD HE PAY WELL OVER THE MARKET VALUE?

TIPS For example: – If he bought a house would he give the real estate agent a tip which was far in excess of the usual just because he wanted to "spread some money around"? I think not. In fact I would comment further that, as you all nod your heads in agreement, Mr. Rich would not give a penny, cent, baht or a grain of rice to the real estate conveyancer, as a tip.

MARKET VALUE: – If he bought a house would he pay far in excess of the market value just because he wanted to "spread some money around"? I think not. In fact I would comment further that, as you all nod your heads in agreement, Mr. Rich would not give a penny, cent, baht or a grain of rice to the real estate conveyancer, over and above the market value.

If A TWAT Replies bought a car would he give the car salesman a tip – just to "spread some money around"? Again, the answer is "NO".

The list could go on and on and on and change the item, commodity, good or service!! The principle is the same: – People don't give excessive tips / pay above the market value for the reason A TWAT Replies gives to us. People like A TWAT Replies give excessive tips / pay above the market value because it gives them a power trip. It gives their ego a lift. It makes an otherwise dull moment suddenly be laden with sunshine. It buys false respect and it says "hey….look who's here…I am the big man…I have arrived". It may make A TWAT Replies feel good about himself when, as he puts it "I walk into a bar, any girl I've ever been with will drop whatever, or whoever, she's doing and come over to me".

This has to be a dangerous thing to do. How would you feel if the bargirl dumped you and went to sit over there with Mr. Rich? There is a certain level of "face" and "respect" that other people deserve. Leaving you sitting there while A TWAT Replies takes your honey is going to make you angry, isn't it!! There you sit, disappointed and humiliated as you are dumped by your "teeruk"!! A TWAT Replies would not win many friends this way. His game is not one I would like to play. Bangkok is not a place in which to be so disrespectful. We all know that…ermm…well, most of us know it.

Another thing: – "I was in Safari in Patpong three weeks ago and a dancer paid back her bar fine to a customer so that she could sit with me. Not because I'm good-looking or a great conversationalist or because I'm great in bed, but because she's knows I'm going to pay her well."

Well, this is not strictly true. OK, she knows A TWAT Replies is going to pay her well. Too well in fact. Yes, this girl is in business and so she heads directly for A TWAT Replies. But she is heading for him for another reason too. She knows he is a mug because he pays her too well…and….she gains "face" because she is going to make over the odds that night. The key here is SHE gains face. He doesn't gain any….he loses it because everyone knows he is "soft"!! She has no respect for A TWAT Replies, I can assure you. She shows respect to him, but laughs at him behind his back.

I am friendly with a girl who works in one of the top clubs in Soi 33. She told me many times of people coming into the bar. One day she told me about a guy barfining 5 girls at once, taking them all to dinner and then taking them all to bed later that evening. He was an old man, aged about 75. I enjoyed the story a lot…until she mentioned the cost and the fact that the girls all thought what an idiot the guy was for paying far in excess of the market value….and….get this…the guy then gives each girls a few thousand baht each – for a tip !!!

Personally I cannot see the economic, personal or strategic logic in giving excessive tips or paying above the market value. I know lots of you agree too. Its ludicrous because it creates demand-pull and cost-push inflation. It creates a false price cap and a false price floor. Its the same with any business or economic activity you choose to analyse.

It not about whether or NOT you are being a "cheap charlie – kee-nee-ow". The phrase would not exist if it was not for the likes of A TWAT Replies. For it is the likes of A TWAT Replies paying over the odds who makes normal-spending people such as "Top Whack Annoying Tourists" to appear a tight ass. "kee-nee-ow" is a false concept borne because wealthy guys long ago started to give excessive tips and pay above market value prices for pussy sold in Thailand. A Thai girl would never call a Thai man "kee-nee-ow". Its a phrase reserved for foreigners who are stupid enough to pay above market value. If someone calls you "kee-nee-ow" you know you have cracked it because you are not paying over the odds. Just don't push the boundaries too far.

If you live here, you should know better and NEVER pay over the odds. They, the BGs, may laugh at you, but inside they will have more respect for you because you are more "in sync" with the prices that should be paid. So-fucking-what if they never come near you again…that's because they know you are not a mug…they know you are switched on…lest we forget there are 1000s of other BGs who will come near you. Another day, another dollar.

A TWAT Replies also mentions that he hates people bargaining for goods sold on the street, like a T-shirt for example. But what kind of idiot pays the first price quoted for any goods or services? I know the majority of people from my country (U.K) will not pay the first price quoted, even back in the UK. Does Mr. Rich and people of his ilk know that we are all expected to bargain / haggle and that's why the prices on the street market stalls are inflated? The vendor wants to purchaser to walk away felling like he / she has "had a great deal" having bargained hard and getting the t-shirt for half, quarter or even an 8th of the initial asking price. Its personally happened to me – I walked along Sukhumvit and was offered something like an ornament / painting for about 900 baht. I liked it and I thought…"that's expensive, I just saw one the same for 400 baht in JJ Market last Sunday"….and so I bargained…what's the point in paying 900 for something that can be bought for 400 baht at a location which is only 20 baht (BTS ride) away? No point ! I mentioned to the vendor that the same item in JJ Market was 350 baht in JJ Market and that his 900 baht was far in excess of the going rate. He initially baulked…and I started to walk off…and yeah…you guessed it…he agreed to sell it for 3500 baht. He made his money, he got his mark-up. He realised that "half a loaf is better than no loaf" and he gave the item to me for 350 baht. Everybody goes home happy. Another thing is – that I am sure he had more respect for me after the transaction had been completed at 350 baht than if I paid had 900 baht. That's the way it works here. If you want respect, earn it. Don't buy it like Mr. Rich buys it. If you don't haggle to get the prices lowered, you are the fool and the Thais will think we are all fools if we all just stopped haggling.

So what if you can buy the t-shirt Mr. Rich mentions can be bought at a fifth of its market value in the USA. We are not in the USA. We are in Thailand. We should pay Thailand's market value for the T-shirt, not the USA's. Do people in New York or any other city in the West, buying a t-shirt or anything, say to the vendor " ahhhh…god damn it…I am not payin' that much for the shirt maaan…I wanna buy it at the Thai / Cambodian / Indian / Chinese…rate"? Well, we all know the answer to that. The answer is "NO".

If you want to help by throwing money away, give money to the homeless or a registered and reliable charity. Don't contribute to messing up the Thai economy for others.

As to people who say "well, the kee-nee-oows should earn more money and not be so damn kee-nee-oww"…that's ridiculous. Why should you or I work more hours to earn more money just to throw it away by consuming over-priced goods or services in giving huge tips and excessive fees to BGs (or any other profession you choose to illustrate). We would not do it in our home countries so why should we do it here in Thailand.

To conclude: – Yeah, give a tip if you want to and if you can afford to, but don't tip or pay over the odds for anything in any country you happen to be in. Don't be like A TWAT Replies who is impressed with birthday cakes and bottles of whiskey given to him by the mamasan. Does he really think they all like him so much that they would go into their own pocket to raise money for his birthday cake and whiskey? Guess again!! A TWAT Replies has already paid for his cake and whiskey long ago many, many, many, many times over, thanks to his excessive tipping. Wake up and smell the coffee! People such as A TWAT Replies are the ones being laughed at by the BGs and the mamasans. The only difference between A TWAT Replies and "Top Whack Annoying Tourists" is that BGs laugh in the face of "Top Whack Annoying Tourists ". However, with A TWAT Replies – they laugh behind his back. How do you feel now?

If it is any consolation, A TWAT Replies, you are not the only one out there to make this mistake. There are lots like you.

And, for the record, I am not a poor man. I have my own very prosperous law and accounting firm in the UK. There's no "I hate rich wankers" attitude coming from me. I am simply making my opinion known. I come from a working class background and I know the true value of money. I also believe that the vast majority of people reading this article, whether they are poor or rich, will agree with most – if not all – of what I have written.

Enjoy, don't destroy!!

In this city, money can change an older man into a boy, but a broken bank can change that boy back into a man again!!

Stickman says:

Again, very hard to argue with this….many good points.