Memoirs Of A Helicopter
I never thought of myself as a butterfly so I found it shocking when one evening my friend's date called me a HELICOPTER!
My first trip to the City of Angels was one and a half years ago. Not having the benefit of any pre-knowledge of the scene I made about every mistake a newbie can make. Here's the short list:
1) I waied the bargirls.
2) I barfined a girl under 18.
3) I had sex without a condom.
4) I fell in love.
No doubt, these are truly serious mistakes! I never, ever thought I'd make mistakes number 2,3, and 4. Thank goodness I knew better than to say anything bad about the King or Buddha, but I'm not inclined to talk bad about anyone anyway.
So I stumbled and bumbled my way through my first visit to BKK, literally! I found myself tripping just walking down the sidewalks! Back in the good ol' U. S. of A. you don't really have to watch your step 'cause the sidewalks are flat and smooth. It wasn't until my second trip that I got the hang of walking around BKK without stumbling like an idiot.
Not that this is a valid excuse but the girl from mistake #2 told me she was 19 (this was before the bargirl age went up to 20). I didn't find out otherwise until after she had seduced me into having unprotected sex with her (mistake #3) and after I fell in love with her (mistake #4). If I had read Stickman before my first visit I would have known ahead of time that underage girls work at the bars and that they lie about their age.
So how could an otherwise intelligent person such as myself make mistake #3 (sex without a condom) which defies all common sense? It came down to encountering a situation that I never anticipated. During foreplay my little tilac got on her back and moved herself in position to receive me. I realized what she was trying to do and I thought I would tease her. So I ran myself between her legs without penetrating her. I then positioned myself right at her gate but did not enter. She then lightly pressed her hands against my buttocks and said "only you no condom, no one else, only you". There we were in heat, panting like dogs, with our foreheads touching, irretrievably lost in each other's eyes. It seems silly now but I believed her. (I only relate this portion of my story so that others may hopefully avoid making the same mistake that I made.)
Since then I've heard the "only you" line several times. I've also learned to ask for ID any time a bargirl states her age preceded by the word "Mmmm". The conversation goes like this… "How old are you?" "Mmmm, twenty-one." "Mmmm, can I see your ID?"
Back in the States after my first trip I found myself mildly agonizing over the high probability of my little sweetie being in the arms of some other farang (this being a continuation of mistake #4 ). It took about two weeks for this illogical feeling to
So with my first trip to BKK being an utter disaster why did I go back? Because it was the most fun I had had in a long, long, long time. Bangkok is an exciting place! It was during visits 2 thru 5 to the Land of Smiles that I metamorphosed from an average punter into a butterfly and then into a helicopter.
During my second visit I walked the streets deftly, not one stumble. I figured out that it's kinda like walking on a wilderness trail in Yosemite. You gotta keep one eye on where you're stepping and one eye on the scenery. I was also more comfortable crossing the street. I now knew to look for the motorcycle going the wrong way on a one way street before crossing.
I also knew how to avoid making mistakes numbers 1-3. I had learned my lesson there!!! It was mistake number 4 that I had not yet figured out how to avoid. How do I not get emotionally attached to some little angel that to all appearances is giving me all she has to give? The answer was simple…….butterfly!
Anytime I started to feel attached to my date then I knew it was time to switch! With a little effort I could always find another bargirl just as enchanting. I did this for awhile, then another thought entered my mind. Instead of switching why not just add another girl to the mix. So I started collecting.
Oddly enough, I didn't think of myself as being a butterfly. When I barfine a girl I look at it as an opportunity to treat the girl to a good time. Who knows what type of guys she encounters so I would like her experience with me to be enjoyable. Of course she'll be happy when I pay her, but beyond that I do try to make sure the girl has a good time. I also never ask to barfine a girl. I always wait for them to ask me. This doesn't mean much other than I figure if the girl finds me truly repulsive she isn't going to ask me to barfine her. For these nebulous reasons I didn't see myself as a butterfly. After all, I
wasn't going from girl to girl, I was keeping them all!
So this was my new behavior pattern, all in the attempt to avoid making mistake number 4. And it worked well…..at least for a while. Just like the well laid plans of mice and men this one had a flaw. Who would have figured? As it turned out there was one girl who managed to capture my heart even in the midst of the company of two other lovelies. How was this possible? Well, she was bubbly, full of life, eager to please, didn't mind that I had two other girls, and she was drop dead beautiful.
Back home again I spend many days thinking of my tilac back in BKK. I wonder how she is doing, and I hope she is well. In retrospect I guess I may have benefited from being a helicopter. These days when I think of my little tilac I only have fond memories and I am not in the slightest bothered about whom she may be boinking tonight!
After writing my reader submission it occurred to me that it may have raised some questions about barfining more than one girl for an evening. Here's what I learned:
1) I found it quite easy to barfine multiple girls. I would always tell the first girl that I like more than one lady. After that I would use the first girl to fetch other girls I liked. This really worked good as it gave me an edge in getting the better looking girls before someone else using a less direct approach. Also the second girl would already know the
situation so no explanation was necessary.
2) Most girls were quite willing to go with other girls. In fact the problem was not in getting two or more girls. The problem was getting more girls than I wanted as most girls would have a friend or two to recommend. Just say no. It's better to pick your own ladies. I actually barfined five girls (not on the same night) from a bar on Soi Cowboy and I never had a problem with a jealous bargirl. Be honest about your intentions up front.
3) Quite frankly two girls in the sack is better than three or four. The reason is that it's easy to keep two girls occupied and engaged during sex. It's just too much work with more than two. Also it's easy to cuddle with two girls. You can't physically cuddle with more than two. I don't like anyone to feel left out.
4) Paying for more than one girl an evening is expensive. It can also be awkward if you go out for dinner or to a disco. You have to not mind the looks and comments you get regarding your entourage. This includes comments from your friend's date about you being a helicopter!
5) Your friends are likely to want to boink some of your dates. After all you've picked up the best looking women you could find. So let them have their turn, it will help you to get over any senseless emotional attachments that you may have acquired! Besides, didn't your Mom teach you that it is nice to share? Your friends will appreciate your generosity!
We all make mistakes and that is all part of the learning process. The condom mistake is one that many people should be careful of though….that is playing with fire on several fronts.