Readers' Submissions

Hats Off To The Bar Girl

  • Written by Jim
  • June 14th, 2002
  • 5 min read


Hats Off To The Bargirl


In ancient Rome as the emperor stands among thousands of cheering subjects, his high ranking officials stand behind him chanting "YOU ARE NOT A GOD", "YOU ARE NOT A GOD", "YOU ARE NOT A GOD". This was supposed to keep the emperor in check with reality. After a few GO-GO bar, beer bar visits, my ego becomes elevated to the same dangerous heights by the attention of the Thai bar girls with no one standing behind me chanting. My reality check is half way across the world and I am not myself. When one's ego is elevated to such heights combined with a whiskey soaked brain, it becomes quite easy to harden the bar girls opinion toward us farang. Have you every been around a stinking drunk person while you were completely sober? Once is enough, let alone every night.

One of STICKMAN'S previous stories discovered and unveiled the 10 commandments of the Thai bar girl. Very shocking and seemingly heartless to us bar patrons who envision all of a sudden out of nowhere we acquired dashing looks and a bubbling personality.

Yes, the notorious Thai bar girl 10 commandments. But on the other hand, perhaps unknown to the plotting Thai bar girl is the farang instinctive 1 commandment that needs no literature or tutoring.

1. A stiff dick has no conscious !

End of commandments.

COMMANDMENT 1 : CAUTION NOTE :
Commandment number 1 can easily become blurred and hazy because of the hidden powers of the Thai female weakening us into pathetic submission (PUSSY WHIPPED). Even in this state, we have the advantage without even realizing it. Don't be "PUSSY WHIPPED" instead you gotta "WHIP THAT PUSSY"!

This commandment sounds crude but most certainly a fact that has always been true regardless of the gent or scum. Come on guys, admit it. We are half way across the world with no eyes upon us, with the money to buy the honey. There are no intentions to play fair. Commandment number 1 suggests that Mr. Stiffy makes the rules. The only compromise to the bar girl hopefully being respect, kindness and naturally the biggy – MUCHO BAHT. It escapes me how the Thai bar ladies manage to maintain that glowing personality and welcomed smile? They are like a fresh breeze blowing in my face.

An avalanche of STICKMAN's website "reader submissions" articles have really tagged the Thai bar girl as the devil with tits. Personally, I got to take my hat off to the ladies. To present themselves every night as pleasantly and rewarding as they do is no short of amazing. The relentless army of visiting farang night after night should be enough to make the ladies a nightmare to be around. But they take a licking and keep on ticking. Thanks ladies for making Thailand a special place to dream about and return to just because of you. Personally, I could care less if they enjoy snacking a big juicy bug, swear by and practice the bar girl 10 commandments or in a pinch wipe their butt with their finger. They are just what the doctor ordered for that eternal need of pristine companionship.

Admittedly, I travel half way across the world to Thailand hoping to be treated like a king and have my every whim granted. Sounds like an unreasonable quest right? Well before the end of the night when I pass out from partying, the Thai doll is always clinging to my side. Mission accomplished – can't wait till next year. Lets hear it for the ladies. Your incredible smile alone makes it all worthwhile.

So going from being invisible in our home country to being spoiled rotten from the time we arrive in Thailand, we quickly become accustomed to the royal treatment and whimper and complain about anything that isn't close to perfection. So go ahead guys, continue to send your complaints in about Thai bar girls to STICK. You loved every second of it and would love to go back to Thailand for a second helping of so called abuse. There may be endless soap opera episodes with the bar girl but in the end it is usually gum drop houses on lollipop lane. Or maybe you prefer the fat ass, flabby titty, I own the world bitch, from your homeland? To be fair, ones taste do vary.

As for the "BUTTERFLY" syndrome. A woman's pride is global. To be treated like a princess one night and tossed aside by the same man the next night with little regret once again is enough to invite the wrath of any woman, bar girl or not. Admittedly, I am a butterfly most of the time and will doubtfully change. But on the other hand, if someone like the KINGS GROUP would put a GO-GO bar in one of the major tourist areas called "THE BUTTERFLY" and explain to the bar girls that work there, they would have to completely accept that the farang is a hopeless butterfly, I would be willing to bet that not only would the ladies work there but business would do well. Definitely would make the farang night out a little less complicated. Oh the constant strive for perfection.

Sure their nightly mission is to squeeze every last hard earned baht out of you. Heaven doesn't come cheap. The Thai bar ladies give us a reward that is hard to put a price on. A statement hard to make in most countries in the world. Why is it the only time I walk down the road whistling a cheerful tune is when I am in Thailand? I take my hat off to the Thai bar girls and can only say – thanks a million (baht of course).

Here's a good money maker in Bangkok.
1. Sell the farang T-shirts that have an "ATM" picture on the front.
2. Sell the bar girls a T-shirt that have your ATM PIN number on the front.
3. Put a GO-GO bar in the Bangkok airport. The long wait for the flight home can be a perfect chance to fall in love a couple more times.

Stickman says:

If you think these girls are pleasant, then you want to meet Thais outside of the bar industry…they are SO much more pleasant…