Letter to EWC (Thailand branch)

Dear EWC (Elder Wisdom Circle – Thailand branch) ever since I became aware of your existence I have had this overwhelming desire to become part of your, let’s call it, give it all, give it for free, whether you are asked for it or not advisory
group.

You see I am a dismal life’s failure, an ex married (for the third or maybe even fourth time) male, ex this and ex that, presently non conformable sex monger.

My own country does not understand me, nor do they appreciate my superior qualities, (their loss, of course), therefore, like you, I have either relocated to, or visit Thailand in order to satisfy my badly eroded ego.

Modeling myself in your respected likeness, I believe that I have all the necessary qualifications to give freely, without fear or favor, any advice that may or may not be required.

Yes, I want to be one of you. All knowing, street-wise older men/women, that have been there, and done that knowing full well where you are going, but never quite making it there.

Do not despair, hope is on the horizon, I am well equipped to advise any male on the wrong side of middle age, presently in Thailand and in a pursuit of that elusive Thai good-girl.

This advice is aimed most likely for the fellow who fits the following description:

It’s your first or maybe second time in Thailand. You are passing Noi’s bar, her workplace. She sees you, grabs you by the hand and leads you to the nearest bar stool. With some embarrassment, you comply with her wishes,
buy her a drink. She tells you how handsome you are. Now you know full well that’s lot of bullshit but then again why not, after all you are on holidays and it is Thailand, so what the hell.

It’s now a couple of weeks later and you have had a wonderful time. Noi has been great, despite her misfortune, which you are now well familiar with. You know how much she hates working in that bar but, with family responsibility,
a sick mama and down on his luck papa she really sees no other option.

Also in these couple weeks you have learned a lot about Thai culture, understanding that they are not as smart as we in developed countries are. Noi’s perception of you as a “Farang” is that you are rich and prosperous
and she has even hinted at the possibility of marriage at some future date. You feel great about that, but you do understand her financial burden, and so being grateful for all the good times you had, it isn’t much for you to help out.

You send some cash every month, and of course Noi loves you. She is back home looking after sick mama and wouldn’t think about working in that bar again. You are in love with Noi and everything is perfect in your world.

After sending money for a year or so things start going wrong. Noi is no longer there when you call and slowly but inevitably, you start to realize you’ve been had. You feel hurt; you get angry, if only you had the benefit of good
advice from EWC (Thailand branch) this would not have happened.

Or would it?

You remember the time when that nice man from Nigeria informed you of your big lottery win and you helped him to establish your ID by sending him your bank account details.

Then that politician from the same country asked you to help him clear some funds from his government’s forgotten accounts.

Yes you’ve been there before and should be used to it by now.

Considering the quantity, and of course quality of the advice given so far on these pages and elsewhere, I am waiting in anticipation for a submission on this site that would read something like this:

Dear Advice Givers (Thailand branch),

I can not adequately express my gratitude for the good advice given and gratefully taken onboard by my insignificant (and modestly so) self, without which I would not have found my direction in life and the way to happiness that I now
shamelessly avail myself to.

Yours truly

Clueless

Seriously now and this is not going to be another advice.

Being married to a Thai woman I never solicited anyone’s help in finding my future wife.

It was sufficient just to present my self just as I am, same as I would have done if I was meeting any western woman. There are great differences between all living creatures, life would be very boring if there was not, but I don’t
believe that there is any significant difference in nature of any woman or man that would have been caused solely by their geographical position of existence.

So the next fellow who says “mine is different” and we have a good marriage, it must be obvious that they have found compatibility within these differences.

Stickman's thoughts:

Sadly some people put themselves in a situation where the chances of success are very low from the outset. Those are the guys who often need advice.