Stickman Readers' Submissions February 10th, 2010

Can I Buy My Whore Respectability?

Can I buy my whore respectability? Strange topic for a submission you may say, but for those married /de facto to an ex bargirl it could be highly relevant.

Background

He Clinic Bangkok

My wife is an ex bargirl. We were involved in a beer bar for 3 years before health issues made it imperative that I left the scene and I sold the bar to an acquaintance.

She is the mother of two children is from a village 15 minutes from the local major town, think Kalasin or Roi Et, so therefore about an easy 3 hours drive west to the closet major centre.

We ran a good beer bar in a beach side centre and my wife recruited most of the girls who worked in the bar from her local area so sponsoring the girls down from the country and setting them up was easy, and to a certain extent controlling them was easy.

CBD Bangkok

Those familiar of course with the Isaan would know that generally the further away from regional centres you travel the poorer the villages look. Of course there are some exceptions. It is a poor area so recruiting young bargirls was easy and fresh faces
sell barfines and attract customers as most readers will acknowledge. A very good area for recruiting for sure.

My wife always looked like a superstar to the people in her village and they of course knew what she did.

Health issues as I said before resulted in my selling the bar, and returning to my previous employment for that reason and also to earn some real money.

With the income from the bar and the eventual sale of it, and my return to contract work, we have the largest and best house in the village. Strange I mention this? It is only being used to give you the understanding of a point I will make later.

Currently we have partially developed a shop / restaurant / bar business at a major intersection of three regional roads. The shop and restaurant are earning reasonable money in local terms, low prices for the locals, it must be affordable of course.

wonderland clinic

Many at the restaurant, lots of travellers who are going to the city or are returning from it, it is a good business and will get better.

The people in the local area and the nearest small town know she was a bargirl. She recruited many of the young female relatives of people in these two places, some of whom have gone on to become wives of westerners in their own right. And with that the
trappings of newfound wealth, also many of the houses of those not married but sending home the earnings / sponsorship have improved markedly in recent years.

Wealth is being redistributed at a rate unknown in the local area. The bargirl revolution is in full swing, no earning 7000 baht a month in a factory. It is reasonable level of disposable income coming in, and my wife amongst others helped this transformation.
Who will build the biggest new house, buy the new car or wear the most gold seems to be at the forefront of the new rich of a traditionally poor area.

So to summarise the background part of the submission, we are doing well financially and the wife's place in the local community has somewhat been clarified.

Buying Respectability

With a very good business, we have found amongst the local people, the local professionals now visit our house, some of the local teachers, nurses and the doctor from the local clinic. Would they have done that before when she was but a bargirl making
her way in the industry? I do not think so! She is becoming an influential person, not respectable as they know her past, but as such influential due to wealth.

In the regional centre three hours west, her previous employment is not known. She has no visible signs she was a bargirl. She is very good customer of many business that supply us. Some would question her background due to her speech and some mannerisms,
but I do not think many would say she was an ex-whore to her face.

Could she buy the respectability she has in the nearest big centre in a tourist area of Thailand?

The answer to this is no. I love her but I am not stupid enough to believe that she can pass for anything but an ex-bargirl. Why? Speech, level of education, closeness to those around the bar scene, and those many things that Thais are experts in knowing
who is who.

We could enrol her children in the best international school in the area but the locals sending their children to the same school would summarise my wife very quickly. Perhaps if we contributed financially in large sums to school projects, we could buy
some influence but not respectability.

What subjects can she hold a conversation in with the Thai elite or middle class? Absolutely none is the answer. The only women who would speak to her at a school function would be more ex-bargirls trying to buy respect.

As most are aware there is a difference between respectability and influence.

I myself can see the difference in Thai women who are from the sex industry to those who are not. It is fairly easy to see, and for those who think their ex bargirl can cross that line you are very much mistaken!

In summation, she can buy influence but never respectability. Her card is marked. She was a whore and will always be seen by some as such, and rightly so because they have the knowledge to work it out.

Stickman's thoughts:

For sure, the Thais know who was and who wasn't. The question anyone thinking about going down the pursue a bargirl as a wife path should ask themselves is whether they're concerned about that or not. But then I don't think guys look for a wife in that environment, more than it is just happens.

nana plaza