Stickman's guide to Bangkok
How To Get Her Visa To England
By The Director
The most regular question I was asked during my Visit to England submissions was “How did I get her visa” and for most part, when I dabbled a few clues, most ran away and hid, so eventually I didn’t bother to offer much help. However, guilt got the better of me, so I thought I’d let you read a little about how difficult it is, and let you decide for yourself.
Frankly, those that try this are either “in lust” – see my previous submission, or in love with an idea. Relationships with foreigners are so very unlikely to work, in fact I read a piece some while ago about marriages to foreigners, and statistically its worse than 7 / 10, and if it’s your second time, or third time the statistics get worse.
Then again, you’re just getting a visit visa or holiday visa, and not planning on marriage – right?
Wrong – YOU might be, but as far as she is concerned she’s virtually married to you already – it’s a cultural thing mere farangs cannot understand – but let me say that in Thailand you don’t need a wedding certificate or a wedding ring to be married – you’ll just be married – because that’s what she’s probably already telling her friends.
However, I will elaborate on my own experience later, and then let you decide.
Firstly if your reading this, your probably 50% sure you want to give it a go. If you’re reading this, you’re also halfway there to getting the visa, because you’re able to read.
Therefore your first point of reference is the British embassy in Bangkok (Don’t try the UK one, they wont help) www.britishembassy.gov.uk / thailand
Then read, thoroughly, the submissions on www.thailand-uk.com. These guys are experts, and will give you all the help you need (If you don’t piss them about), and helpful advice – most are married to Thai girls, and it will also become a useful web site for your girl to read when she’s stuck in doors all day at your place, because it is also written In Thai.
(You’ve got to register first, but the info is good, and if you are serious, the forums on visa applications are invaluable – You leave a question, and it will be answered by 5 / 10 or 50 people if the question is interesting enough)
Before you start, get yourself a solid Binder, lots of paper, and be prepared to write perhaps 10 letters, 5 references, enclose “Original” Bank materials, a photocopy of your whole passport, 2 pictures, an itinerary for her trip, notes about your town for her to learn, notes about your family for her to remember for the interview, a completed 12 page Embassy questionnaire, letters from her family, photos of you together and on, and on.
It also helps if you have Thai friends in Thailand that can give her a reference. The mistake most people will make the first time is cutting corners – if you read my submission “Monday 23rd Feb – trip to the embassy” – there was a guy arguing with the Embassy staff that they had no right to ask for his original bank details, copies should be enough. (Any more than he had a right to a visa for his girlfriend!) He’d flown all the way to Bangkok from England with copies, when it specifically asks for originals on the Embassy web site. He didn’t get beyond the door.
So when you’ve written to everyone for references, proved you are single / divorced / or still married. Proved your income, proved you live where you say you do (Original Elec / Gas / Council tax bills), proved you’ve had a relationship with your girl for more than four hours (Photo’s, telephone bills / emails), proved she’s got a reason to return (Other than “Cos I got her a return ticket already”), and won’t simply stay here, proved she’s not coming over to use the British free medical facilities, proved you can afford to keep her (Bank, business / Employees references), and I even got my flossy to take a full medical inc Aids test (My excuse was the visa application) she will then get an interview, and you're not invited – in fact you don’t even need to be in Thailand – if you can afford the postage for your hundred weight of paperwork (Probably as much as your flight) then simply post it to her, because the Embassy don’t want to see you, meet you, or hear you.
Then they will say your application is too early (Well they did to us – don’t apply more than three months before you plan to travel.)
DO NOT BOOK ANY FLIGHTS until you’ve got the visa – only make plans, and suggest dates, and explain to the embassy why these dates are suitable (They’ll ask).
There's no quick fix as far as the Embassy interview goes either. (Despite Web services offering help) She can choose to talk to them in Thai or English, and it won’t matter. She needs to tell the truth, and nothing more. They don’t ask her “Where did you meet him”, because it’s obvious from the Two dogs shagging on her T-Shirt and the tattoos and the glazed look in her eyes (Drugs, or the fact the Embassy is only open for 2 hours in the morning and the queue will be an hour long, so she’s been up since 6am) that she was a bar girl.
So what did Flossy and I do?
We both got dressed up. I was the only one with a Tie and Blazer on in the Embassy queue, she wore a suit I had hand made for her (Jacket, skirt and blouse) She felt over dressed, I wanted us to get a Visa, and respected the application process (Only just, it is a pain in the arse).
We didn’t make silly little plans like “If they ask you where we met tell them we met in the Nana Hotel reception where you’d popped in for the loo, and I was checking out the rooms in case I needed to stay there. No, When Flossy asked me what she should say, I said the truth (Don’t elaborate of course), we met in a Bar.
In the UK people think we have a problem with illegal immigrants, many people take umbridge to the number of foreigners living and working in the UK (personally I wonder how what’s left of our British manufacturing industry would survive if it could only employ the lazy bastards it would be left with without foreign workers – I don’t know many British “White” people that would be willing to keep Heathrow Airport clean for less than £15,000 per year) so our immigration rules and applications for visa’s are rather hard. But if you’re a little educated, and prepared to put a little effort in, you can bring your Flossy to England like I did.
Read, write, and get your T’s crossed, and your I’s dotted. We got our visa on our first attempt. I don’t believe it was “Lucky”, or “The staff were in a good mood”
It was meticulous detail, reading everything available, and providing more than just the requested documentary evidence. When you look on the the Thailand UK web site all the successful applicants went to similar lengths, and generally, those that don’t, don’t get much further.
Then when you’ve finally got her here.
Your street credibility will be shot to pieces, your mates will all think they can shag her, your mates' wives will ignore her, or constantly ask you if you're going to get married / was she a prostitute before she met you / she’s after your money you know! your Kitchen will look like a bomb went off in it, she will cost you far more than you previously thought, she’ll be bored to tears, your phone bill will hit the roof, she’ll cling to you like a limpet, so any chance of an evening out with the lads will be virtually impossible, (Unless you want an unhappy, half deranged Thai girl in your house smashing up your antique dinner service, and drinking all that booze you’ve had hanging around since the Xmas before last)
Don’t expect to see your remote control for 6 months – it will be cartoons, the WWE Wrestling, gooey movies, porn and MTV.
You’ve then got table manners, laziness, if you’ve a good one, 6 months of lovely Thai cooking in your Kitchen, and that means “Fish Sauce, Dried Fish, Oyster sauce, expensive Boiled Fish, fish, fish and smelly bloody fish.
Expensive supermarket mistake “Oh, I know how to cook this, and an hour later she’ll be calling her friend / mum / sister in Bangkok, or Isaan at 150 baht a minute asking how to turn your microwave on.
And worst of all, in her eyes you’ll be married, so she’ll beg you to bring her back at the next opportunity, she’ll be incredibly insecure once she’s seen some of your mates, and ex-girlfriends, and she’ll cost you more because she’s seen your lifestyle, and you’ve got to wait another 6 months before she can come back again.
But then again it could work! It does for some, though I don’t know ANY. In fact, ask your girl if she knows ANYONE who has successfully lived with a Farang for more than a year or two – my girl didn’t know anyone that hadn’t come back after a year or two.
Anyway, you’ll have judged by the underlying tone that mine and Flossy’s trip wasn’t the most successful. Two, three and four weeks with her at a time are perfect – 6 months – Never again.
Cynical I may be, somewhat bias possibly, but if you had been reading my submissions you’d know that for a while I thought it was all worth it.
And remember one thing, This isn’t JUST a holiday to her, this is her dream come true.
Give it a go. Life is full of surprises.
I'm sure this will be useful info for some blokes.
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