Sukhumvit Syndrome
One of the first things I noticed after a few years away from Sukhumvit is how bad so many foreigners look. Unkempt, overweight, and lacking in energy. And you notice it the moment you get off the plane back home. People’s skin is clear and their eyes are bright. They have a spring in their step. Most people back home look healthier than the expat crowd in Bangkok you’ve just left behind. And that’s a worry because New Zealand is the third fattest country in the OECD.
As I wandered around Sukhumvit looking for all these changes people had told me about, what struck me most was the state of many downtown farangs. It’s not just the beer gut, it’s the thousand-yard stare. It’s the awkward gait. The slouched posture. The red eyes, and the swollen ankles. I could go on, but if you’ve spent time sober on Sukhumvit with your eyes wide open, you’ve seen it.
As I caught up with friend after friend, I wondered if it had only been 3.5 years since we’d last caught up. Time hadn’t been kind to some. A couple of friends had developed quite a belly. One friend walked with a limp. A couple walked with a stoop. At times I wondered if there was a new medical condition, Sukhumvit syndrome.
Plenty of expats hanging around Sukhumvit (and Pattaya) just look like crap. Has it always been this way?
I don’t think so. Retired expats in Thailand have never been an especially healthy bunch but I don’t recall things looking quite this grim.
Fortunately, there were exceptions. Some friends looked a whole lot better than when I was last in town.
One friend acknowledged that he was starting to look like Porky Pig and chose to go on the keto diet. He dropped 21 kg. While he has a cheat day or two a month, he has kept the weight off. Today he looks great, like he’s several years younger than his actual age.
Another friend was morbidly obese – close to 150 kg – with all manner of diagnosed (and undoubtedly undiagnosed) health issues. In his 60s, he knew that few make it in their 70s at that weight. He had bariatric surgery where the size of his stomach was reduced, limiting the amount of food he can consume. A small plate and he feels full. He has lost a huge amount of weight and is down to less than 95 kg. His diabetes has reversed and he no longer requires diabetes drugs or insulin which he injected twice a day for years. In medication alone, he is saving 5,000 baht / month. His skin conditions disappeared and his racoon eyes are but a memory. He eats healthy, works out 5 days a week and looks better than he did 15+ years ago. And he says his sex life is better than it has been in a very long time.
Bariatric surgery in a government hospital in Bangkok including extensive pre-surgery testing, private room, all surgical costs and all check-ups following surgery cost less than 200,000 baht and has been life-changing.
So why do so many expats in Thailand, particularly retired expats (and especially those who retire early), end up looking like shit? What’s the commonality?
There are various contributing factors but I think there is one main reason. Many are bored and / or lonely. They end up eating to ease their boredom and drinking to overcome their loneliness. And after consuming too much food and drink they end up looking like crap.
Things don’t usually just magically work themselves out in life unless you happen to be lucky.
The problem seems to be that many do not have a plan. They retired to Bangkok on the basis that they had enough money to do so. That’s where the plan ended.
To enjoy a long, happy and stable life in Thailand without the ups and downs that come with (often self-inflicted) health issues, you need a plan. Thinking everything will magically work out is wishful thinking. Living free and easy might bring you happiness today, but what about tomorrow?
You need a plan that encompasses not just your finances, but your health and well-being. With no plan, Bangkok can lead you in to temptation. I’ve seen it happen literally thousands of times. And I have experienced it myself.
After living in Bangkok for two years I was bored of teaching so I quit. My plan was to go from teacher to student and sharpen my Thai language skills. I spent the best part of a year studying Thai at a Thai language school. While that might sound like a good plan, it was only 4 hours a day. I ended up learning good Thai by day, and bad Thai by night.
With all that free time, I ate too much and went out most nights. I was on the slippery slope. I distinctly remember my jeans were getting awfully tight. I bumped in to a former teaching colleague I hadn’t seen for a few months who said he thought I was putting on the weight. I weighed myself and was shocked. The scales showed I was 82 kg. (Today I am 70 kg; when I moved to Thailand I was 72 kg.)
This lifestyle wasn’t doing me any good so I stopped studying, returned to teaching and within a few months I’d dropped 10 kg and was feeling so much better.
But teaching was never my calling and I got bored again. This website was booming so I threw in teaching once and for all and concentrated on running this website. I was out late drinking with bar owners. I was eating at odd hours. History would repeat itself.
One evening in The Old Dutch I met up with a bunch of contributors to this website – Pattaya Gary, Holt, BKKSW and Whoreski. Pattaya Gary, a former military man and lifetime gym rat poked my belly and said I was getting fat.
I stopped going to hotel buffets and gave away my membership cards to a friend. I increased my exercise and that along with a change in diet righted the ship. I was still in my 30s so the weight fell off in no time. I was feeling good again. And this time I was determined not to relapse.
Too much free time in Thailand had proven to be a problem so I started taking more trips back to New Zealand. 3 times a year I’d fly home. Every year. It broke the cycle, and I have been happy and healthy ever since.
Rather a lot of expats in Thailand live a lifestyle with a bad diet (or just too much food), and lots of drinking. They do this because they’re bored and they don’t have a plan. It needn’t be this way.
Thinking of retirement in Thailand as an endless holiday can spell trouble. You need purpose. Even in retirement you need hobbies, things to do, and a reason to get out of bed in the morning. It could be something as innocuous as tending to a garden or looking after pets. You might like to volunteer with an organisation like the Soi Dog Foundation or the Bangkok Community Help Foundation. Dare I say it – and even if money is no issue – you could seek out work that is fulfilling.
You don’t need to go on a vegan diet or go carnivore or be strictly keto, but do be conscious of what you eat.
A couple of friends in Bangkok have unresolved medical issues. Back issues. Knee issues. I suspect some don’t have the money to seek medical attention.
There’s something to be said for having private medical insurance if you don’t have the funds to self-insure. That said, when you really need medical insurance – once you get in to your 70s – it can get prohibitively expensive.
Gym memberships are cheap in Bangkok. Every friend with a gym membership in Bangkok says the gyms there are better than home. One friend pays less than 1,000 baht / month for a modern, well-equipped gym on Sukhumvit. He loves it – and it’s not just the working out but the social opportunities. Farang & Thai. Male & female.
If like me you’re not a fan of gyms, there are other exercise options. I used to walk a lot. Bangkok is perhaps not the best city for walking, but there are some great parks for walking if you enjoy it. There are good public swimming pools, if the pool in your condo is not big enough for laps. Any exercise you genuinely enjoy is best as the odds are you’ll stick with it.
So many expats retire to Bangkok hoping to live a life they had dreamed about for years. In many cases, self-inflicted health prevents them from enjoying the life they had so looked forward to. Don’t fall in to the retired expat trap of having no plan, lest you end up with Sukhumvit Syndrome.
Mystery Photo
Where is it?
Last week’s photo was taken in MBK, a mall I am sure most readers are familiar with. Just six of you got it right. I find it interesting that the mystery photos included over the last several weeks, all of which I have taken myself, have proven very challenging with few of you getting the location right. This week’s photo should not be that challenging – but please note I am asking where the photo was taken from and not what appears in the background.
Meet her at Shark bar, Soi Cowboy.
Stick’s Inbox – The Best Emails From The Past Week
From the Bangkok blues to the Miami blues.
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Tijuana trumps Bangkok?
Here’s a response to your question, “Tell me anywhere in the world …” I know one place — Tijuana, Mexico. The positives about the bar scene there are — (1) You get to sit in air-conditioned bars, (2) You get to watch upwards of 90 scantily-clad women in the bars, (3) Customer drinks are inexpensive — $5 (~175 baht) plus tip, (4) There are no entry charges, (5) You can relax and enjoy music in a pleasant environment, (6) You can watch sexy girls dance, (7) It’s safe — I’ve never heard of a customer being manhandled by staff and military personnel with automatic weapons patrol the streets to enforce safety, (8) Most women don’t quickly down their drinks, (9) All of the women are willing to go to a room. The women charge similar prices as they charge in Thailand. But spending time with a woman who isn’t in a bar and on the street can be ½ the price. The expensive part is lady drinks. They cost $10 — 347 baht — each plus tip. By the way, hotels in Tijuana are usually, relatively, very inexpensive.
Thailand and the Philippines are not the same.
Loving the Philippines but there are surprising restrictions on conduct in a country I thought was live and let live or even anarchy. I learned the hard way that you can’t drink in the street in ‘nice’ parts of Makati Central Manila. I was drinking a bottle of beer and smoking a cigarette and a cop asked me to show him ID then called for back-up on his radio. I thought WTF, am I going to be arrested for something so trivial? Apparently public alcohol use is “highly illegal” and I just didn’t know. I tried to bribe him with a thousand pesos to let me go but he declined it. I had no idea it was illegal to drink in public in Manila. It’s kind of awkward considering Manila doesn’t have anywhere near the same number of outdoor bars as Bangkok – why not? There are a few in Burgos Street but you get swarmed with beggars and it’s too sad. Why is there no Nana-style daytime bar scene in Manila?
Airlines charging high fares to recoup losses.
On flights and airfares, I’ve had five trips back to Thailand since my post-Covid return in July, 2022. The first trip was booked quite a few months earlier at a pre-Covid price. The others were all at the new price levels and whilst some legs have been full, plenty have had a lot of spare seats. It does appear that airlines are just charging what they think they can get away with to try and recoup some of their Covid losses.
More airfares.
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A pleasant surprise at Patpong.
I went to Patpong. What a sad situation. Hardly any bars open, well a few. I stopped at a Leo-sponsored bar and had a chat with a door guy. He got a little bit upset when I said 170 baht for a beer was too much. He dragged me inside, and the place was full of dancers and also had lots of customers. I stood corrected and said well done. We got chatting and all was well. Just outside, there was a Leo beer stand, 90 baht draught. The 2 Leo girls were friendly.
A recommendation for rock n roll fans.
I don’t recall that you mentioned visiting Velvet, the upscale nightclub off Soi 8. Perhaps, I missed it but you had said that you planned to check it out. <I ran out of time and never made it there – Stick> Also, I wanted to give a shout out to a small live music club on Sukhumvit Soi 7/1, amidst the naughty shops on that daunting alley. It’s called the Green Room and features some excellent musicians and bands playing nightly, except Monday. The British owner is in attendance almost daily and there is also a small loft upstairs with a pool table. Recommended for rock n roll aficionados.
95 baht drinks until 9:30 PM at Shark bar, Soi Cowboy.
This Week’s News, Views & Gossip
The big birthday party for the manager of the restocked Shark bar this past Friday night was a great success, with the Soi Cowboy gogo bar full from early evening. A pig was sacrificed for the occasion and, after more than 3 hours of roasting, came out as tasty and moist as many of the dancers on stage. Friday night marked the first night of Shark’s extended happy hour. As a reminder, starting at 5 PM on the patio and 7 PM when the gogo bar proper revs up, it’s 95 baht for all drinks until 9:30 PM.
Mixed reports reached me from Neon Alley this Friday, some saying it was busy and others saying it was quiet. One friend with his finger on the pulse interpreted it as Soi Cowboy doing its best impression of Pattaya’s Walking Street – lots of looky-loos strolling the street but many not stepping inside the bars. Trade must have been reasonable because the upper floor at Crazy House was open. The local constabulary continue to change the times Soi Cowboy bars can stay open until and this week the bars were told they could operate until 2:45 AM. On Friday night / Saturday morning, many closed well before then.
Up the road in Nana Plaza, this week Spanky’s hosted its own birthday party for manager Mathieu. While it started slow – with jokes flying about how few friends Mathieu must have! – it finished with a packed and happy crowd. One person attending had previously brought a bottle and brought it out again to polish it off at the party. And it’s a bottle many people had never seen before: A 4.5-litre bottle of Grey Goose in a lighted display case, mounted on a swivel to pour. A very impressive piece of marketing by Grey Goose, and also a very impressive price to match: 27,000 baht!
4.5 litres of Grey Goose.
Still in Spanky’s, the super popular gogo bar has increased prices for the first time in 5 years, taking the price of both standard drinks and lady drinks to an even 200 baht. Once upon a time I would have ranted about such a price increase but the older and wiser Stick understands the reasons behind these price increases. Spanky’s management, like that of all bars today, is cognizant of the need to retain ladies and the bar has to meet the market to stay competitive with other bars – which means paying 100 baht commission to the ladies for each and every lady drink bought for them. Spanky’s previously paid 60 baht commissions which was pretty much the industry standard for years. Many businesses blame Covid for price rises and in the case of increasing lady drink prices, Covid really is the culprit. When Covid came along, the bars closed. Closed bars meant many girls had to seek employment elsewhere. When the bars reopened, many girls did not return as they had other options. To entice girls back to the bars, some bars increased lady drink commissions to 100 baht. Word spread quickly and other bars had to pay similar commissions to retain their girls – and that’s where we are today.
It should be noted that many of the big-name gogo bars have not increased drinks prices since before Covid – and plenty have not increased prices since 2018 – so I would not be surprised to see other Bangkok gogo bars increase the price of standard drinks and lady drinks to an even 200 baht. I think it’s a fair prediction that 200 baht will very soon be the new norm for drinks pricing. Of course, some bars are already at that level.
The new PDT Bar is open on Sukhumvit soi 13 now!
Popular beer bar PDT Bar had its soft opening yesterday. The bar that was previously on soi 11 can now be found on the ground floor of the Trendy Building. Beers are 100 baht during happy hour which runs until 7:00 PM. Pool is free until 7:00 PM. After 7:00 PM, beers are 140 baht. The bar is open until 3 AM but it is hoped that they will be able to open even later. PDT bar is located 30 metres to the right of the Old German Beerhouse and Sportsman on Sukhumvit soi 13.
Dave the Rave scored details on the 6-week renovation underway at Spanky’s that I mentioned last week. LED lighting figures prominently and it’s amazing that ownership will keep Spanky’s open throughout the upgrade. Details here.
At the entrance to Nana Plaza, security may ask to inspect the contents of any bags you wish to take in to the plaza. This week, security stopped a fellow who happened to have some chicken in his bag. He was told he could not take it into the plaza and he had three choices: eat it there and then, throw it away or leave it on the table at the entrance from where he could collect it when he left. He chose the latter. I understand the reasons for security in Nana and the many benefits, but I don’t understand why you can’t have food in your bag. What am I missing?
It should be noted that one of the things some foreigners like about Thailand is the way many venues allow you to bring in food from outside. OK, so you can’t take food from one restaurant in to another restaurant but taking food from an eatery in to a bar that does not offer food is usually fine. I always liked the way you can be sitting in a bar and order food from an eatery nearby and it’s brought to you, no problem at all.
Soi Cowboy.
Back to Soi Cowboy, it can be confirmed from a few readers that one of the most divisive bars in the industry, Crazy House, is not Indian-friendly. Indian readers tell me they have been outright refused entry to Crazy House. Does this ban apply to all of our Indian friends or just some? To the many Indian readers, please let me know whether you have been allowed to enter Crazy House or not. And on that note, please do let me know any other bars which prevent you from entering or make it difficult for you.
Can lower Sukhumvit support another bar complex? As was mooted in this column last year and is now generating chatter on Twitter, a new bar complex on soi 8 is, again, being talked about. Bare-bones details and the same hand-drawn map of the supposed bar complex have again been doing the rounds of a complex which would have 40 – 50 venues, including beer bars, “Japanese bars”, massage shops and restaurants. The sketch which dates back to last year supposedly comes from a bar owner participating in the project. To answer the question asked in the first line of this paragraph, my feeling is that it would be an uphill battle.
Meet her at Butterflies, Nana Plaza.
When I was in town, I felt that one of the big differences between Soi Cowboy and Nana Plaza was that Nana Plaza was a bar area and Soi Cowboy was – to some extent – more of a tourist attraction. Many mainstream visitors venture to Soi Cowboy to see the spectacle, take photos & video and get a selfie with a ladyboy. Compare that to Nana Plaza which is more for the bona fide naughty boys.
And speaking of differences, comparing Bangkok’s nightlife areas with news reports from bar areas in other parts of the country, one thing stands out. Things are much more likely to kick off between bar security and customers in the likes of Phuket or Pattaya than they are in Bangkok. There have been multiple news reports in the past couple of weeks of things getting nasty between security and customers in Pattaya and Phuket You seldom hear of this happening these days in Bangkok.
Mentioned briefly last week, I now have all the details on The Game’s big 11th Anniversary Party this Thursday, June 29. Actually, the details come from Dave the Rave, who wrote about the history of the Soi 9 sports pub and what you can expect at the party. In short, great prices on beer, including deals on Beer Lao, Stella Artois and the range of Brooklyn Brewery beers from the U.S., which The Game has a Sukhumvit exclusive on. There also will be deals on Bloody Marys the day after for the expected hangover.
Party time at The Game.
Down in Pattaya, running a big gogo bar on Walking Street has very much become a case of trying to keep up with the Joneses. When the folks behind Pin-Up opened XS in December, they created a bar with a very bright, very flashy façade, with two decent-sized LED screens on the outside. Fahrenheit, next door, always had a big, beautiful sign, but ownership felt they needed to respond to XS’ excess and this month unveiled what some say is the most-impressive exterior on Walking Street.
As can be seen from the photo below which was taken earlier this week, there’s a new logo anchoring an even bigger sign. The entire front of the bar has been redone with a massive LED screen showing off nice photos from Digital Mints. The new façade dominates that stretch of Walking Street. As a side note, a huge LED screen outside Mandarin and Red Dragon in Nana Plaza now displays high-quality photos from Digital-a-Go-Go, Digital Mints’ partner in Bangkok and the creator of the images of gogo ladies featured in this column.
On Second Road, construction has begun on the new Made In Thailand beer bar complex. Rumour has it that leases for the many bars in version 2 of the beer bar complex have been sold. Amazing.
Still in Pattaya, the number of massage shops has increased massively in recent years. And as best as I could tell, prices remain much the same as they were before Covid. Pricing in most massage shops in Pattaya seemed to be almost uniform with many venues still charging 200 baht for a regular Thai massage and 300 baht for an oil massage.
Fahrenheit looking good!
The best pizza no-one has heard of in Bangkok is a relatively new, delivery-only operation with a tie to a famous pub of the past, Pizza One. Operating out of what once was the Pickled Liver up the end of Sukhumvit Soi 7/1, Pizza One offers 15 authentic Neapolitan-style pizzas made with love in a massive pizza oven imported from Italy. The head chef hails from the Old World as well, bringing even more authenticity to Pizza One’s offerings. Pizza One got off to a slow start with no real online presence, building its business through specials on food-delivery apps, despite the hefty commissions those apps charge. Those who have tried Pizza One, and went online to tell others about it, have raved about it with some calling it the best pizza they’ve had in Bangkok. This week, Pizza One launched its own Facebook, Twitter & Instagram accounts to start building name recognition. The best way to order is through its website or LINE account.
Speaking of good food, it’s nearing the end of the month and that means another month’s-end barbecue at Buddy’s Bar & Grill Soi 22. As always, the June 30 BBQ will be a Meat-palooza with roast chicken, pork ribs, ribeye roast, hot dogs, Italian sausage, garlic bread, corn on the cob, coleslaw and more. All that for only 350 baht.
Buddy’s BBQ.
Are there fewer mothers in the bars these days? Thailand’s birth rate is much lower than it was just a couple of generations ago. One casual observation I made when I was in town (which may not be accurate) is that there appeared to be a smaller percentage of ladies dancing on stage with the tell-tale signs of having given birth. Just a general observation which, like I say, may or may not be accurate.
20 years ago today, New Zealand decriminalised prostitution. Up until then it was a crime but as best I remember, it was not something that people were generally arrested for and prosecutions were probably few and far between. Since decriminalisation, almost no-one complains about it being decriminalised. Thailand really should do the same. It’s still the case that, officially at least, prostitution is illegal in Thailand. Sex workers should not be prosecuted. They should be protected. And decriminalising prostitution in Thailand would go some way towards that happening.
Meet her at Shark bar, Soi Cowboy.
In last week’s column I wrote that if you are only looking for sex and not looking for entertainment or a night out, there are much better places in Bangkok for sex than the gogo bars. Many of you were quick to point out that I did not say what or where these places are. Why didn’t I mention them? Quite simply, the best places are where the Thai men go. Yes, that means the Thai-style venues like the large massage parlours. Those are places where your average Westerner can go and will generally be made to feel very welcome. But that was not really what I was referring to. These days, Thai men seek out the services of ladies who advertise online. What are the websites? Where can you find these ladies online? It’s not that simple – and that is one reason why I didn’t mention anything in the column. Thai men use apps like Telegram to find ladies who advertise services. There are literally thousands of ladies with profiles which very clearly say what’s on offer and how much it costs. But here’s the issue: Everything is in the Thai language so you must be proficient in the Thai language, both written and spoken. You need to be able to read Thai to see what’s on offer as well as understand the lady’s terms and conditions which vary from lady to lady. And then if you wish to book, you need to make a telephone call to an intermediary who tells you where to go. If you don’t speak and read Thai then these ladies are pretty much out of reach, hence I have not written about them. 90% of the ladies are aged 20 – 25. The going rates are 900 – 1,500 baht and that rate includes the room. And from a couple of expat friends who partake with these ladies, they say the service is night and day compared to the farang bar areas which they have given up on for adult fun (but still enjoy for drinking and the vibe). But like I say, you must be able to read Thai to find the ladies and speak Thai to make the booking and get instructions on where to go (invariably a short-time hotel in the Rachada area). There are reasons why this column doesn’t feature these ladies but instead reports on Nana, Cowboy and Patpong – these areas are geared for foreign men.
Meet her at Billboard, Nana Plaza.
In yet another anecdote that Thailand is changing, my other half (who remains in Thailand and will return in a few weeks) along with her sister and sister’s best friend went to a local pub & restaurant with live music. They’d been really looking forward to it but were disappointed to see a long queue outside. Talking with security, they were told that there were at least 50 groups ahead of them and it would be quite some time before they could get it – and even then it was possible they might not get inside until very late. 100 baht was offered to jump them up the queue. It was declined with a smile. 200 baht was offered. It too was declined. They really wanted to get inside so they offered 500 baht. It was refused. Once upon a time such a backhander would have bumped you to the top of the queue in many hot-spots around town. Not these days, it seems. As my other half said to me, “In the past money could buy anything in Thailand, but not anymore!”
Thais love to take road trips and these trips often revolve around food. It’s not just about the destination. Plans are made to stop at famous eateries along the way, as well as markets to pick up food items the area is known for to take back to Bangkok. There is a new aspect to Thai road trips and that is the inclusion of a stop at a cafe. This isn’t merely for a caffeine boost, it’s a planned stop for cakes, often sumptuous, rich, European style pastries and cakes. Thais have really developed a taste for European cakes and pastries in recent years. All power to them and it’s great to see them appreciate foreign foods, while at the same time the amount of sugar some Thais consume these days means they are just going to get bigger and bigger.
Meet her at Suzie Wong, Soi Cowboy.
Thailand-Related News Article Links
A hot Chinese woman sexily removing items of clothing in the back of a songtaew shocks the driver.
An Aussie woman returns to her homeland after suffering terrible injuries after falling down.
Pattaya plans to build 4 monorail lines to ease the worsening traffic congestion in the city.
Exhausted doctors are quitting the Thai public health system in droves.
An exploding fire extinguisher killed a student in a Thai high school fire drill.
Meet her at Billboard, Nana Plaza.
Closing Comments
I received very mixed reports about how trade was in Bangkok’s bar areas this week. Some say it was busy, others said it was quiet. Of course, it’s possible that different people out in different areas at different times resulted in conflicting, yet entirely accurate reports. That said, could some bars be experiencing something of a low season lull? You don’t usually expect that until late August, September and through until mid-October. Just how busy or otherwise things are is hard to say, but what I can say is that there was less bar news and gossip than usual this week. Hopefully we’ll have more next week.
Your Bangkok commentator,
Stick
Stick can be contacted at : stickmanbangkok@gmail.com
