Victory Is All Soi Cowboy’s

The taxi fought its way through the city's infamous traffic, much worse back then than it is now. It was a slow trip downtown and I was beginning to see why other drivers had refused the journey. The taxi turned right on to Sukhumvit soi 3 and it
must have taken 20 minutes or more to crawl our way down and then across the main Sukhumvit Road. We knew we were close when we saw the neon sign atop the Nana Hotel.

The city was much more drab back then and on a cloudy day everything appeared to be a shade of grey. So when the taxi stopped outside Nana Plaza we were amazed at the scene before us. Neon from bars in the horseshoe shaped complex lit up the surrounds
like a million Christmas trees. We entered the plaza for the very first time with shit eating grins on our faces that clearly marked us as newbies. The neon jungle looked like a miniature Las Vegas but instead of high end gambling dens we were
surrounded by upmarket brothels overflowing with pretty young ladies screaming and yelling, fighting for the attention of the two handsome 20-something newbies.

Just walking around the balconies of Nana was exciting, taking in the scene and the atmosphere, enjoying the banter with the girls. We had a fantastic time, ending up in Pretty Lady Bar which ironically was being managed at the time by someone who would
years later become a good mate. I don't remember seeing Dave The Rave but no doubt he was directing proceedings from the shadows.

Nana Plaza had it all back then and it was unquestionably the best of Bangkok's nightlife areas. Old hands tell me that Nana Plaza was at is absolute best in 1996 but I can assure you the '98 vintage was pretty good. My overriding memories are
all the neon. While there could be no disguising the complex was more about prostitution and sex for sale than drinking, the neon drew you in and made you feel welcome. It almost legitimised the area as an entertainment complex.

My first trip to Soi Cowboy, in comparison, wasn't until a few months later and I made a much less dignified entrance, leaping from the number 38 white bus and sprinting down Asoke trying to avoid the late night downpour in hot pursuit of an Aussie
mate who was showing the new kid on the block Cowboy for the first time.

Soi Cowboy had nothing on Nana in those days. The neon signs outside the bars were as worn out as the girls inside. There was very much a feeling of decay in the air. Cowboy predated the new arrival, Nana Plaza, and as is the local way, once the bars
had been built very little was done in terms of maintenance or improvement. At Cowboy it showed.

We had a few quiet drinks and ended up in Pam's Bar which was to become a bit of a hang out. Long Gun was about the only bar that could compete with anything Nana had to offer. Cowboy was quiet, dark and, as I was told on that first visit, the choice
of locals who just want a few quiet drinks and not necessarily anything more. The thought of anything else was in many cases, scary. Cowboy was dark, grim and dirty. I remember thinking that the whole place was not only filthy, but it stunk too.
The killer blow was that the average age of the girls just had to be 30+.

A decade later the tables have turned. Today Nana Plaza is a decaying dump. Worn out neon, broken down facilities and piles of garbage make the place an eyesore. The over supply of aggressive transsexuals lingering on the balconies grabbing at your crotch
is beyond bothersome. The attitudes and lofty prices are the icing on the cake. Like a former sports star whose performances border on the mediocre yet who just refuses to retire, the fond memories fans once had of Nana are being marred.

Money has poured into Cowboy over the past few years and the soi has experienced a renaissance period. It is unquestionably both the best and most popular bar area in Bangkok. Visiting Cowboy today reminds me in many ways of that first trip to Nana. Jump
out of your taxi at the soi 23 end of Soi Cowboy and it feels so inviting. You want to check out the bars, and explore.

Cowboy bar owners have spent millions giving their bars an overhaul, especially on the neon, and it is paying off. The latest bar to get a large new sign is Long Gun (top right of the picture above). If you haven't visited Soi Cowboy recently, you
might not realise just how much it has changed. The two shots above were taken from almost the same spot more than 9 years apart. Brighter? Yes! Busier? Yes! Better? Absolutely!

Nana Plaza has largely stood still over the last several years although in fairness it is making a bit of a comeback with some bars on the ground floor spending money and getting a much needed overhaul. From the outside it still looks much the same and
within the plaza itself it feels darker than it once was, probably due to much of the neon fading. The state of the sign over the main entrance out the front is a disgrace. The two photos above taken 8 years apart show little change at Nana. The
plaza rested on its laurels and is now suffering as a consequence.

Despite pretty much the same prices as everywhere else, soi 33 remains something of a niche market and has been unable to shake off its image as a millionaire's playground.

Soi 22 and Soi 7/1 both have more relaxed, laid back and inexpensive bars but small bar areas will never compete with Nana, Cowboy or Patpong.

At Patpong, the bars are still going but they're doing precious little trade. Nana Plaza seems to get a lot of the tourist market these days and Patpong, well, I don't know who drinks there any more.

That leaves Soi Cowboy. With all the investment by bar owners over the past two years and the introduction of happy hours by most venues as well as aggressive recruitment, it is no surprise that Soi Cowboy is far and away the most popular of Bangkok's
bar areas. In the battle of Bangkok, victory is all Soi Cowboy's.

FROM STICK'S INBOX (These are emails from readers and what is written here was not written by Stick.) Preference may be given to emails which refer to the previous week's column.

EMAIL OF THE WEEK – The madness of running from the cops. (I mean, would you do it in your own country?!)

The underage problem.

Flying club membership.

What visa fee waiver?!

Condo a better deal than a hotel?

The boys in brown should be given a huge pat on the back for cracking down on the underage problem at Soi Cowboy where they have made a number of checks over various nights this past week. That will upset those of you who emailed me claiming there was
nothing wrong with arranging a date with bargirls aged under 18.

Coyotes Gogo Bar in Soi Marine Plaza will host a dance contest tonight. Ten Bangkok supermodels have been brought down especially for a Bangkok vs. Pattaya girl dance off and rumour has it that they have all featured in the Thailand edition
of Penthouse magazine. The rumour mill also has it that they go.

Bradman’s Sports Bistro on Sukhumvit Soi 23 will celebrate Australia Day tomorrow, that is Monday, January 26 with a FREE afternoon barbecue from 4:00 PM until about 8:00 PM. The barbie will feature sausages, hamburgers, chicken,
garlic bread and salads.

I have been saying it for a long time and I will say it again. Bars need to give punters a reason to visit, be it attractive prices, good service, pretty girls or something a little bit different that separates them from the crowd. Club Sakura 69
in Pattaya has put in place an incentive scheme for locals, as can be seen in the picture here. That said, sticking my head in the door
this week I am not sure how successful the campaign is because it was awfully quiet.

Speaking of Pattaya, just how quiet is it? Some big name venues are hurting badly and some bar owners admitted to me this week that they are thinking of putting their venue up for sale. The problem is, who would buy at this time?

Pattaya's descent into the low season is gaining momentum. Those few big name bars that are still packing punters in on a nightly basis are the envy of the industry and very much the exception. You know things are bad when even name bars are struggling
to get punters in the door with plenty of name gogo bars customerless at 11 PM! Yes, I entered some bars at that time and would have been the only customer had I stayed, which I didn't! This cannot continue and come Songkran I'd expect
to see some owners just walk away. I mean, who is going to buy a bar at the moment, especially with some of the crazy prices going around. One bar in soi 15, the same soi as such commercial successes as Angelwitch and Baby Dolls has never really
hit its straps and you just wonder how the reputed 8 million baht asking price was arrived at.

Soi 7 and 8 seem to have picked up a little with more customers than they had this time last month but the same cannot be said of Soi Chaiyapoon, yet another Pattaya bar area that is suffering. Usually a lively soi which tends to attract those on something
of a budget, most venues offering rooms have vacancies which is kind of unusual for January. Foot traffic is way down with few lingering in the soi. Girls in the many massage houses where hanky panky is the norm positively plead with passers by
to enter, seeking the few hundred baht from a liaison that they need to cover their daily living expenses.

The new shopping centre on Beach Road, Central Festival, is now open. It will be interesting to see the effect on traffic on Beach Road and Second Road.

Five dancers left Baby Dolls a month ago and a week later they were back in the bar, asking for their old jobs back. In the week that they were away they approached and were taken on by 5 different bars, each of which they lasted just one night in. In
the end they decided that they were better off in Baby Dolls!

The beach road in Pattaya was no different this week to previous weeks with many of the usual suspects to be found. It has to be said that there really are some skanks on patrol and while I don't like to sound mean, some
are dreadfully rough and I have to wonder just who goes there. That said, there would seem to be more than a few happy punters and I spied no shortage of amorous behaviour right there this week. Some people obviously have no shame!

First it was Lennies, then Shooters and now it's Mirage. But unlike the previous transformation, this time the venue has undergone a complete format change. What was once a laid back and rather quiet, enclosed hostess come beer bar
featuring good music is now a lively gogo with a fancy lighting and laser system. There are heaps of pretty girls employed although they are not helped with the bar making the cardinal sin of allowing the girls to choose their own bikini / sexy
outfit to dance in which gives the place a bit of a ragamuffin feel. A uniform would be much better, to say nothing of looking more professional. More than a few Pattaya bar owners are trash-talking Mirage but I couldn't help think that was
because they had lost some of their prettiest girls to the new venue! You'd have to say that they have been successful in transforming it into the new format. Mirage, located in Soi Diamond, is most definitely worth going out of your way
for.

Rumour has it that at least one Pattaya gogo bar owner is scouring the bankruptcy notices and keeping his ear to the ground for any businesses in the greater Pattaya area going under. When he hears of such a venue he sends some of his staff to the premises
to hand out flyers promoting his bar as a place to seek high paying employment in these troubled times. To make it even more interesting for the new recruits, his bar features more colourful shows than most. Girls who have never
worked in the industry could find themselves thrown in at the deep end!

There are more and more Russians in Pattaya but for many Western bar managers they don't make good customers. In addition to attempting to order and share a single drink in a group, or even smuggle their own 7 Eleven-purchased drinks into bars, the
Russians are earning quite a reputation for taking photos, not just on Walking Street itself but inside the bars – even those with clearly visible signs forbidding the practice. Maybe they need to post the signs in Russian as well as English?
The Ruskies are getting quite sneaky, concealing their equipment which isn't that hard with video cameras getting smaller and smaller. They're also taking a lot of still photography. Veteran bar manager Ricky was telling me that he catches
Russians taking photos in his bar frequently and usually they are quite compliant and stop what they are doing and upon request delete the images. One Rusky refused so Ricky asked him if he would like to make a trip to the police station at which
point he complied. But you wanted to see the look on Ricky's face when I told him that undeleting photos on any digital camera is no more difficult than counting to 10. I swear his eyes got big and his face went white!

After a lean period when they were light on lookers and even resorted to getting some of the hostesses up on stage, Secrets has a bunch of pretty new girls, one or two of them rightfully qualify for the description of "stunners".

But Secrets has brought in one new policy that I don't quite understand. Where the staff have always worn their ID card on a colour coded strap, green meaning she was available for take out and red meaning she wasn't, they have
introduced a new category of yellow which apparently means "maybe". That just doesn't make sense!

I don't care what anyone says, the idea of Bangkok restaurants and pubs adding + or ++ to the bill MAKES NO GOD-DAMNED SENSE TO ME. It's a total con job. Where in the world does this happen? It's a massive turn off and while I stomach it
in the British pubs (many such pubs in Bangkok charge it whereas pretty much none in Pattaya do), I don't like it at all. Why can't the establishment just print the total price for each item on the menu? One + is bad, two ++s is just
TOTAL NONSENSE. Now remember in the case of two ++s that one is a service charge. So why oh why do a few venues which incorporate this service charge into the bill then give change in such a way that they EXPECT another tip i.e. on a total bill
of 740 baht which you pay for with a one thousand baht note, you get change in the form of 1 x 100 baht note and 8 x 20s – clearly they expect you to tip AGAIN. And if you don't tip again, they sneer at you and sometimes even make a nasty
comment in the local lingo. God, I hate that!

Bangkok beggars are going upmarket. Crossing the footbridge from Pacific Place to soi 7 on Sukhumvit I spied one of the new generation of beggars who was enjoying sounds on his IPod. No, not a cheap Chinese-made MP3 player but a real deal IPod. Looks
like he does alright for himself.

Western teachers in Thailand are never shy to scoff at the increasing number of teachers from the Philippines now plying their trade in Thailand. Funny accents and poor pronunciation are just some of the complaints you hear from Westerners. But it has
to be said that teachers from the Philippines have one thing over Westerners – reliability. Many a Western teacher has phoned in after their first class was supposed to have started citing some miserable excuse about feeling ill and being unable
to make it in, all of which usually means the Heineken headache. The Flips are much more reliable and the word is out amongst school managers. When it comes to reliability, teachers from the Philippines have it all over their
Western counterparts.

Last week's announcement by the government that visa fees would be waived for 3 months from January 20th was welcomed. Unfortunately it would seem that while the announcement was made in Thailand, someone forgot to tell Thai embassies and consulates
all around the world! Reports came in this week from the Thai consulate in Melbourne, the Thai embassy in Vientiane and the Immigration office in Hua Hin that they know nothing about it – and visa fees were charged as normal! It's all rather
reminiscent of the much publicised promises made by the government when the airport was closed. To much fanfare they announced that all visitors stuck in Thailand would be compensated to the tune of 2,000 baht per day. Of course what ensued was
something rather different and no-one actually received 2,000 baht a day (the backpackers with a daily budget of less were terribly disappointed) but rather vouchers for free accommodation and meals at participating hotels. That was of course
a nice gesture by the government but was rather different to what was announced. There does seem to be something of a pattern here with the government making announcements of new policies to promote tourism that are much publicised and well-received
but then not followed through with or at least implemented in a manner rather different to that which was originally announced.

Spare a thought for the poor Thailand-loving Brits for whom the financial news coming out of London isn't indifferent from reading an obituary. The pound has taken a hammering and at present will get just a bit more than 46 baht. Pessimists are saying
that it may dip below 45 this coming week. It was only a month or so that falling below 50 seemed like a total disaster. Today I bet many would be over the moon with 50 baht to their precious pound.

For long-termers looking for an easy visa solution, the 3 year Non-Immigrant B visa may be the way to go. It goes for around $US 350 and essentially means you can come and go into the Kingdom for 3 years without any visa hassles. Some of the smaller consulates
cannot issue it but all the embassies should be able to.

Speaking of visa issues, the most well known visa run company in Bangkok is the curiously named Jack Golf. What a weird name for a visa run company! Have you ever said that fast? Go on. Try it! Say "Jack Golf" fast a few times and I am sure
you will find that it sounds rather like something else…

There's a nasty cold going around that most people have picked up at least once or in my case, twice. Do your best to avoid it. This one lingers and most seem to have it for at least a week, medicine or not.

Chris Moore invites you to have a look at his blog where you can find links to three videos about his Calvino series of books. Also, for readers in Hawaii, you are invited to a Vincent Calvino
party in Honolulu on the evening of 12th March 2009. Chris is currently working on the second draft of the 11th novel in the Vincent Calvino series. In the new Calvino novel, "Vincent in Bangkok", his client base having dropped to one
client, Calvino's clinging on to the one case with both hands. The novel is set during a time of turmoil and demonstrations and the question is whether Calvino's last remaining client will make it through the local business minefields.

A Norwegian involuntarily joins the Phuket Flying Club and survives!

Pattaya's foreign police contingent was highlighted in today's Post.

The Age reports that Australian Harry Nicolaides got three years for insulting the Thai monarchy.

Would you trust a Thai hospital after this monumental cock up?!

The Telegraph reports that a Brit was brutally murdered in Chiang Mai.

The BBC reports that Thailand defies the UN.

Ask Mrs. Stick

Mrs. Stick is happy to answer any questions regarding inter-racial relationships as well as cultural peculiarities that may be confusing or baffling you.

Question 1: Why don't Thai women like to be outside? There are some beautiful places in this country and the beaches are lovely. I went with my girlfriend and her family to the beach and they never once went into the water even though it was about
35 degrees all day! They just sat under the trees and ate and slept and ate and slept. Why go to the beach and not even dip your toes in the water?

Mrs. Stick says: We don't like the heat from the sun and we don't like dark skin. People from the poor parts of our country have dark skin so if we get dark skin people will think that we are poor and that we work outside. So we try to keep our skin light by avoiding the sun. I am sure everyone still had a good time at the beach even if they did not go into the sea!

Question 2: I have recently finished work and will be off soon to Singapore. Given my pleasant relaxed situation with a bit of time off I decided to take up a bit of cooking amongst getting all the moving arrangements sorted out. Today was spent driving into Bangkok (from Nonthaburi) to sort out all sorts of arrangements and then to cook a meal. Quite a busy day as are most at the moment as it takes a lot of effort moving from one country to another, and a lot of money. Something really pissed me off today. All the effort I have been through today and I got home and found the house in a real dirty mess. The excuse was because the maids hadn't turned up. Well in Singapore, girl, there will not be any maids, I can tell you. I then spent three hours cooking a great meal which she really liked. After eating it the maids finally came and she slumbered into that lazy, Thai TV spell which I really hate. I then had to wash up the plates etc. from my cooking but bloody well let her know how pissed off I was. I sense her first 30 day visa in Singapore may be the last one. I hope not because she is the love of my life but I will never live with a lazy cow. I think I need to put my foot down as I get the impression that Thai ladies (actually all ladies) get really lazy if given maids etc. to look after
the house. I find this maid business quite pathetic! My mother brought up two kids, cleaned the house every day and cooked three great meals a day for the whole family. I recently asked her how she did it and she replied "because I enjoyed it and loved my family". Traditions have gone haven't they! Personally I really hate the maid thing. Not sure what the question is here. Would just appreciate your thoughts.

Mrs. Stick says: The question is not easy to answer. I think your wife manages the maids, right? And you say "maids" so there is more than one? So why did they turn up late? I guess they work some days for you and have a schedule of things to do. Your wife should telephone them and find out why they are not there. I think that is her responsibility. If you hire maids do you expect your wife to do their work if they don't come? I think she won't like that. I think she will consider it is not her job but the job of the maids! She will expect them to do their assigned tasks. I think it will not be easy when you go to Singapore for your wife. Maybe you have given her a life that is very easy and sabai?

Question 3: I am sending this email not for myself as my situation has being over for some time now, but my brother (whom had married a Thai woman) had brought his wife back to Ireland with him and it is nearly going on 4 years now. They have separated
just over a year, the usual crap again – she found some Irish guy whom she thought was better and had an affair for several months before my brother found out (oh, did I mention she had 2 children already before meeting my brother). Sorry man
I am ranting on here, I just have a little question, what is the best way and quickest way they can get a divorce so that it will be seen as a legitimate divorce worldwide. I can't find any good websites that display this information online.
And is it also possible to get this divorce without having to go to Thailand?

Mr. Stick says: I am sorry to hear about your brother's misfortune. Thai embassies abroad can grant divorces to those who were married in Thailand. I am not sure how it works but imagine that they would only do so in the case of a couple who had agreed to divorce – and I imagine that just like a divorce agreement in Thailand, everything would have to be in Thai. This would make it rather difficult for your brother who presumably is not fluent in the Thai language. Further, I am not sure if they would grant a divorce to a mixed nationality couple. For sure, they do when each partner is Thai but if there is a foreigner in the mix, it might not be possible. I would therefore instruct him to go to the local pharmacy and buy as much KY jelly as he can. Then tell him to find a barrel. He should lower his drawers, smear as much KY as he can on to his backside and then lean forward over the barrel and wait… He will then discover that while his wife may not have been born with a penis she is still quite capable of fxxxing him. Sorry, but from what little you have said I am not sure that there is much he can do. Seriously, if I was him I would go out and get the best divorce lawyer available. That is probably the only thing he can do to protect himself and his assets.

I am on record as saying that I am not a fan of most of the Bangkok-based forums. Funnily enough I quite like the Pattaya-based forums though. The big difference with the Pattaya forums is that what you see is what you get. There's much
more straight talking and far less BS. One of the issues I have with some of the Bangkok-centric forums, especially the big one, is how Thai slanted they are. Whenever a completely reasonable discussion commences, anything that could be construed
as even slightly negative towards Thailand results in the person who started it being attacked en masse and shot down in flames. It is laughable. Seemingly no discussion thread can sail anywhere near close to the wind without being shot down.
What makes me laugh is that 99% – 99.9% of the forums users are Westerners. Surely intelligent discussion should be encouraged? Apart from one really sensitive subject which is not up for discussion, surely all else should be allowed? I can't
help but think that there is something wrong with a farang-oriented site / forum that goes heavily Thai-slanted. This site is very much foreigner-slanted. The readership wants to learn about Thailand and to try and understand not just what happens,
but why it happens. Sometimes what is said may not be entirely complimentary. So be it. Readers want to get to the heart of the matter. It's a shame that so few sites really tell it how it is.

Your Bangkok commentator,

Stick