Exit Stage Left
Foreword:
Sawadee2000 was one of the most popular contributors to the readers’ submissions section of this site in the site’s heyday. His tales of everyday life in Thailand, from initially moving to the country to the trials and tribulations of building a house, to working as an English teacher, to his ongoing health issues and later, issues with his Thai wife, he was a real readers’ favourite. His writing had a charm and he had a strong following.
Like I say, Sawadee2000, real name Larry, had numerous serious health issues. Way back in April, 2010, he composed this submission and asked me to post it to the site after he had passed away. Something of a hypochondriac, he thought that his demise was imminent. Indeed, he had a number of heart operations, some of which he was told his chances of survival were 50 : 50 at best, yet each time he woke up in the recovery room.
He enjoyed his time in Thailand but a combination of marital and money issues eventually saw him move back to the States. For several years I and a couple of others have been trying to get hold of him but to no avail. Due to his age and his ongoing health issues, we assume he is no longer in the land of the living. (Contrary to what is written in the article below when Sawadee 2000 believed he would see out his days in Thailand, he did in fact return to the USA.)
You were a great friend of the site, and a friend to me personally. I enjoyed visiting you in Lampang and similarly enjoyed hosting you in Bangkok. I very much enjoyed our trip to Cambodia and a couple of trips to Pattaya. You delighted many with your tales of life in Thailand.
I have just recently been made aware that Sawadee2000 passed away in March, 2021. Rest in peace, old friend.
What follows is the last reader’s submission written by Sawadee2000.
Stick
Sawadee2000, in better times, Secrets Bar, Pattaya, 2009.
Cue spooky music. Cue otherworldly mist. Cue spotlight tracking from stage right to center stage.
Greetings from beyond the grave! Salutations from beyond the veil that separates the world of the living (you), from the world of the deceased (me). Yes it’s me….little old Sawadee 2000 here to regale you one last time with some parting thoughts.
Of course I’m not actually dead while I’m writing this. That of course would be front page news! Forget Ouija Boards! A psychic typewriter would drop even The Amazing Randi’s jaw! But no, I am jotting all this down while still here on Planet Earth, specifically while sitting at my desk at school. But if you are indeed reading this last submission, lift a glass or two for me, since I am well and truly dead and buried…….at least I hope that a portion of my ashes are. If all went according to my wishes, I was cremated in high style at a Buddhist Temple here in my adopted home of Lampang, and some of my sooty remains are fertilizing a large fruit tree in our backyard. I did tell my wife not to go kee-niao (cheap) on me when it came to picking out a tree. Shell out more than couple of hundred stinkin’ baht and buy a tree that is more than a lousy twig! I want my “final resting place” to be a nice shady spot, where my friends and family can relax, take a snooze, and nosh on some ripe fruit. Is that asking too much? A mango tree would be nice. They grow to be enormous. But I’ll settle for anything nice. I know my tee-rak is partial to Rambutan and Longan. Go ahead, dear, plant anything you like. I of course will not be here to partake of the harvest, but go ahead enjoy. And you, dear readers, if you find yourself up this way, please feel free to stop by and help yourself. Even six feet under, I do pride myself on being an impeccable host! If you’ve a mind to, sprinkle a bit of fertilizer around where I lay, and think back to happy days we shared together.
Actually, now that I think about it, I never did have a chance to meet many of you face to face, but I did manage to carry on a lively correspondence with a fair number of you.
Thanks to all of you for your kind words concerning my scribbling. Honestly, I never considered myself a “serious writer”, but I sure did have fun sharing my thoughts and feelings with you here in The Land of Smiles. A few (very few) have accused me as being a whiny, politically incorrect, ignorant Yankee, with a streak of “Western prejudice” a mile wide. Oh well, what can I say? I always tried to simply tell things as a saw them….after careful consideration of course, Even so; I know I did shoot my mouth off a time or two. So sue me already! I do hope I didn’t come off as being just another whiny Farang, bitching and moaning about all the “deficiencies” of Thailand. I know that a few folks out there have accused me from time to time of viewing life here through my prism of “Western prejudice”. Oh yes indeed, I truly don’t “understand your culture”….or what passes here for “culture”.
If you are looking for the Fields of Paradise, I do hate to burst your bubble, but Thailand isn’t it. Neither though is it the worst place in the world you could choose to hang out, whether for a week or two here and there…..or for the rest of your life. Hell. I spent my remaining years here, and it didn’t do me any harm….except of course that in the end I did die here, where as if I had stayed in my corner of Farangland, I undoubtedly might have lived much longer.
Life here can be hell on earth one moment, and sheer bliss the next. The former is likely to be found in the company of a stony-faced, unsympathetic functionary at the Thai Ministry of Immigration, while the later is usually found in the arms of a silken-haired, jasmine-scented beauty. The bliss might be illusory, but damn it, it sure feels heavenly at the time. One thing is for certain though; life is certainly not boring here! During my time here I was alternately amazed, bewildered, enraptured, disgusted, astounded, mortified, and delighted, but rarely bored. You never know what you will encounter in the course of an average day, but it is probably something you would never have experienced back in your homeland. That’s when you shrug your shoulders and say for the umpteenth time, “Welcome to Thailand”!
If you had told me prior to 1998 that I would wind up living in the land formerly known as Siam, let alone “give up the ghost there”, I would never have believed you. No doubt I would have asked for a hit of whatever you were smoking, since it produced such outrageous fantasies. I won’t bore you with the details of how I did wind up here. If you are in the need of a powerful soporific, you may want to wade through all nine sections of “How it All Began”. Believe me, that’s a sure fire remedy for insomnia! That epic piece was the very first thing I ever wrote for public viewing. Did my writing ever improve along the way? I would like to think so, but of course only you, the kind folks who have read all of it can say for sure. I can say that writing did become easier over the months and years, and was highly rewarding….not to mention highly addicting. At all hours of the day and night, ideas would flood into my awareness that demanded that sit myself down and write it all down. What I’ve written has hardly been profound; it’s just my take on life here…..for whatever that’s worth.
Anyhow, if somehow you’ve managed to make it this far through this final piece without running screaming from the room, thanks for listening one last time.
