A Thailand Train Trip in February 2020, Part 3

Next morning we had breakfast at the hotel, full American for me (the nearest I can get to full English, but near enough!) and something ricy and spicy for her (yuk!). Then we went to the beach. We started at the extreme northern end where there is a picturesque cove full of fishing boats. A sign and a display of old photographs told us that this was the oldest part of Hua Hin dating back to when it was just a tiny fishing village.

Then we went for a romantic paddle in the sea, walking almost the whole length of the beach and back again. As we walked, my impression of the profile of the average tourist was confirmed. When walking along beaches I like to spot the talent, but there were very few young women, most of them being middle aged or elderly Brits, going red in the intense late morning sun. There is a small Chinese Buddhist temple not far from the northern end of the beach. Behind it you can see an architectural monstrosity – the Hilton Hotel. Five Star it might be, but who would want to be up there, so isolated from the real Thailand? I asked Chompu why there was a Chinese Buddhist temple here, and she said it was because there were a lot of Chinese businessmen in Hua Hin. I commented that Chinese Buddhism is a different flavour of Buddhism to her own Theravada Buddhism, but it made no difference to her. She waied to each statue and said a few prayers, after which we went back to the hotel and slept for a while.

In the evening, we went to Hua Hin Night Market – which is huge, much bigger than the night market at Patpong. We had a meal at an upstairs restaurant, which had a spectacular aerial view of the market:

By then, I was getting quite fond of this woman, and decided to keep her for the rest of my trip if she was willing. She agreed readily, so we went back to her bar to pay her barfine for two more days.

My train to Bangkok was at 16:01, so Chompu and I went to the station an hour before to buy her a ticket. We had hoped to be able to sit together, but it turned out that there was only one seat left on the whole train. I was finding that SRT is popular with Thais – which is not surprising, considering the low cost. A second class ticket from Hua Hin to Bangkok costs 412 baht. By comparison, a taxi will cost 1,600 – 2,000, though it will be a lot quicker – about two and a half hours (the train takes 3h 44m – if it is on time). The bus is the slowest option (4 hrs), but cheapest, at 215 baht.

Hua Hin Station was as delightfully old world Thailand as ever (apart from the ubiquitous coronavirus masks):

The train was a three car, all second class, diesel multiple unit, which I identified as a Daewoo APD 20 (built 1995) with a top speed of 120 kph (which it never got anywhere near). When researching this online, I was interested to find that SRT also operates some similar trains, which are Sprinter Units bought second-hand from the UK and re-gauged and refurbished. These units are capable of 100 mph (160 kph), but are limited in Thailand to 120 kph.

Inside it was surprisingly comfortable – much more comfortable than anything in the UK. The reclining seats were large and the legroom was generous. The cost of the ticket also included a hot meal and a drink. The train arrived half an hour late, but during the trip, it caught up ten minutes, so we arrived in Bangkok 20 minutes late. Average speed was about 50 kph. A Sprinter Unit at top speed could have done it in about 1 hr 10 mins! – but then, maybe we live life at too fast a pace in the west. Thailand teaches us to slow down and appreciate life as we go along.

The terminal in Bangkok is impressive, consisting of a huge, single-arched train shed, reminiscent of St Pancras in London, though on a smaller scale.

We took the MRT from Hua Lamphong to Sukhumvit and walked to Soi 4. Chompu didn’t complain once. I wouldn’t dare to ask a Bangkok bargirl to walk so far, but Chompu is used to walking, as she walks everywhere in Hua Hin, and what is more important – she is not spoilt!

After checking in and taking a quick shower (together, of course) it was time to hit the bars. As it was getting late, I decided that I would show her around Nana Plaza, as it is just a hundred yards or so from the Dynasty.

We started at Butterflies, which I told her was currently the number one bar in Bangkok. It was packed as usual so it was hard to find anywhere to sit (always a good sign). There were about 20 girls on the main stage, 16 on the centre stage, and 12 in and around the tub. All of a good standard, some of them quite pretty. Two things impressed Chompu – 1) the sheer number of girls, and 2) how young they were. One thing shocked her – the topless girls at the tub. Chompu was not at all shy with me, but she said she couldn’t imagine how girls could bring themselves to go topless in public.

I took her to Anglewitch next. This used to be one of my favourite bars, and I used to love the shows, but it turned out to be a shadow of its former self. There were 10 – 12 girls on stage, who quite frankly, would have been better suited to the bars at Hua Hin (though they would expect Bangkok prices). Nor were the shows very impressive. The first consisted of four girls doing a dance routine in sexy cowboy costume, but the costume didn’t reveal much, and the girls weren’t worth revealing. The second was the one where a volunteer sits a chair while a girl dances around him, teases him, gives him a pretend blowjob, and with a bit of skillful dancing, flips up on a pole and sticks her pussy (panty-clad, of course) in his face. Now, this kind of show only works if the girl is desirable, but her tits were fake, she was covered with tattoos, and I couldn’t help wondering if she was a ladyboy – so it did nothing for me at all. The third show consisted of four dancers in backless costumes revealing naked bottoms. But, once again, this kind of show only works if the girls are desirable, and the best I can say is that they were OK-ish.

I wanted to try a few bars that I have not visited before (or recently) so our next stop was the ground floor bar, Twister BKK. I was absolutely blown away by this bar. There was one long stage with dancers in rainbow bikinis, and to the right, a shorter stage with topless dancers, and three or four completely naked dancers on the back row. Both stages were packed. I counted about 30 girls in total, plus about another 10 sitting in front of the stage – but what was most amazing was that these were girls of the right sort: young, pretty and petite. I don’t think I have seen such a line up since my first visit to Rainbow 4 in 2005. Photography inside Bangkok bars is forbidden, but I managed to get this snap of the bar frontage before being tapped on the shoulder by a security guard.

Chompu noticed the appreciative grin on my face, but she is understanding about such things (because she is mature and not spoilt). Also, I have explained to her that, though I like to look, I know that girls like this are not for me. The days when I was satisfied with a quick bonk with a teenage beauty are long gone. These days I want “connection” – and with Chompu, I have it. Nevertheless, I still like to ogle them, and this bar seemed the best place to do it – so:

Twister BKK wins the Bangkok Byron Gogo Gold Award for 2020

Rainbow 2 is an old favourite of mine which, back in the day, I rated second only to Rainbow 4, so I decided to find out if it had survived the ten years of my absence in better shape than Angelwitch. It had. There were 20 – 22 girls on stage, many of them of the right sort – enough to bring back that appreciative grin. Chompu elbowed me, and said (very kindly) that I could take a girl if I liked. I said that I wasn’t bothered (which was true), but asked her if she would like to talk to a girl to find out about working conditions in Bangkok. She said she wouldn’t even consider working in Bangkok because she thought the scene was “too hard”.

We looked into a few more bars and, on the way out, I noticed another bar with the Twister name (Twister Bar), and decided to check it the following night to see if it was a coincidence, or if it was under the same management.

I was looking forward to visiting Twister BKK again, but I have no idea when I will be able to get into Thailand, never mind any particular bar. Only one thing is certain – everything will be different. In some ways, the bars might be better. Bangkok and Pattaya have been too expensive for a long time, and the Thai baht has been too high. Perhaps, when this thing is over, we can look forward to more reasonable prices – but will Twister BKK survive at all?

NOTE 2023: Twister BKK did survive and I revisited it in November 2022, but found it to be a shadow of its former self, with fewer ladies, most of them UFO’s (Old, Fat and Ugly). You can read about it here.

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The author of this article can be contacted at : rumblejungle2019@gmail.com